AIBU not to be questioned by a&e staff over an injury that happened to child 15 years ago?

My son in law had to go to hospital with severe headaches, he has hydrocephalus, it started when he had a cyst in his brain when he was 4. He had to go through all his history from being 4 to being 25 now. They just need to get a full picture of what his medical history is, you would hate them to miss something that could be linked to a previous injury. Whenever I have needed Xrays of my feet & ankles they show up previous breaks & fractures, I always have to tell them what each one was & when it happened.

I hope you can be kinder to yourself - you didn't harm your son when he was a baby, and you didn't cause his dyslexia, or being left handed. I don't know any family who hasn't had at least one child in hospital when they were little, and it is so scary, even though so common.

I'm glad you're getting therapy, you need to forgive yourself, there was no bad intent, it was an accident. He's obviously fit and active if he's playing sports - can you think about the wonderful things about him?

Safeguarding at our local hospitals is massive. As a foster carer I took one of our fc and they asked so many personal questions about their family and how often they saw them etc which had bugger all to do with their injury. Thankfully the young lad was fine about it but another fc would have been hysterical having to talk about her family.
Our goddaughter was questioned when she was injured on holiday with DM and dm's partner. How had it happened who was there why is her dad not there. What is his address
How many Siblings (half) live with dad. What are their DoB, not at all relevant or needed at that time

I fully understand the need for all information that is required but some was definitely not necessary and others could cause massive distress. As a foster carer I can provide all necessary information when booking in instead of asking distressed child.

He was being a doctor.
Doctors are matter-of-fact.
He was not being a shamer.

At some point, you’re going to have to put that 10,000 tonne bag of guilt down.
By this time next year, it’ll weigh 100,000 tonnes and then what will you do?
You didn’t harm your baby. In your heart of hearts you know you didn’t harm your baby.
Tell your conscience to STFU. ❤️

Dyslexia is genetic. Much like autism and ADHD, it usually runs in families.

Definitely not caused by a fall. ❤️

I called 111 recently after my child bumped their head.

‘Have they had any brain surgery?’ was one of the standard questions I was asked by both the initial call handler and later a nurse. I assume if you have had brain surgery previously your risk factors may be different following a head bump/possible concussion.

No it’s not a subset of autism!

It can co-exist along side autism but they are two distinct conditions. Many people have dyslexia without autism and vice versa

All the best people are left handed OP.. Well I would say that wouldn't I!

Left or right handedness is apparent in the womb - babies suck either their left or right thumb, and also there is a hereditary component. It is unlikely to he anything to do with the accident.

WTF? A 15 year old lad comes in with a sports injury and you think the dr makes enquiries to determine if he was assaulted on the playing field?

The doctor was doing his job, and was being thorough.

I am sure it would make you uncomfortable, but it sounds like you still haven’t got over it l? Would talking to someone help?

The doctor hasa job to do they can't go 'we need medical info but won't bother asking incase it upsets someone'

It is not a conspiracy

he just wanted to know medical history nothing sinister no they dont link up even if it was same hospital he wouldnt know

Not only are hospital records not linked, data protection and retention policies mean most are destroyed after 6 years.

Sounds like he was doing his job but with poor bedside manner, I’ve noticed many well meaning doctors upset patients or families by being abrupt or rude-sounding. Sometimes being smart in one way (academic/medical) means you’re not so smart in other ways (social)!

You're not being unreasonable, it must have been so upsetting and scary. I would have been tearful and shaken as well.

I don't think the doctor was unreasonable either, in that he had to be thorough; ideally these things would always be handled with sensitivity, but health care professionals are so overstretched and under-resourced at the moment, the niceties can go out of the window and it's easy to become a bit desensitised when you're overwhelmed and knackered.

You've done nothing wrong, and I'm sure the doctor didn't think you had done anything wrong. You didn't cause his dyslexia. Be gentle with yourself, you've had to relive that terrible time while also worrying about your son, so you're allowed to feel a bit fragile.

The dyslexia wasn't caused by that OP don't keep thinking it. Millions of people who were never knocked on the head as a child are dyslexic.

I'm have dyspraxia and there were no head knocks involved - I was just born that way - irritating but true.

I do understand though - always wondering "what if?" I was assaulted some years ago and ended up with quite a nasty head wound (remember being wheeled out of A&E cubicle and suddenly realising all the blood on the walls was mine) then developed epilepsy about 6 months later... I still wonder if that would have happened if my head hadn't been hit half a dozen times with a large vase but logically I know it could have happened either way and the neurologist says the same

The doctor was just getting a proper history. I'm sorry that was so uncomfortable for you, it must have brought back so very hard memories

In a 15 year old I doubt this would be the way a Dr would go about determining this.

Don't worry, it doesn't sound like the doctor was concerned you were an abuser or neglectful or anything. Just getting a full history. I think dyslexia is more hereditary rather than caused by injury, so don't feel bad about that

I'm so sorry. I understand. I was asked a load of questions about why I didn't breastfeed my son when he was in hospital. He was 6 years old and in because he had reflux.

You're being paranoid. Your 15 year old son can't answer questions on something that hapoend when he was a baby. That why the Dr is asking you.
No...not all information is shared on the system and between hospitals.
And finally, accidents that happen to the head when little can affect them later in life. Years later! With a new head injury then the Dr is asking you thr questions so he doesn't miss anything vital.

Not sure what you're saying here. Can you explain?

Even if in the same hospital, notes from 15 years ago may well not have been uploaded into the electronic system which would be all A&E had access to. If it was a different trust, no chance at all.