AIBU not to be questioned by a&e staff over an injury that happened to child 15 years ago?

affected him in some way even down to him being left handed.

you’ve mentioned this twice in your posts. Why are you constantly worrying about him being left handed? What’s the problem with being left handed?

What a load of bollocks.

Dyslexia and autism are 2 separate conditions.

They can be comorbidities but dyslexia isn't autism.

There are also statistics to show that even though both have a strong genetic component, early traumas can be caused by environmental issues which therefore create conditions similarly to dyslexia/autism/adhd, and therefore are also likely to be diagnosed as such because head traumas change the way our brain works.

The OP is unlikely to have caused her sons dyslexia from the head injury, just the same as I'm not likely to have caused my sons autism from having a C section but the rates for diagnoses in both groups are higher than in those with no head traumas, or vaginally birthed with no complications.

That's why he asked. He's seeing a snapshot of a complete stranger and needed to gather all the information he could

He was being observed after a concussion. They need to know all about the previous head injury in great detail for two reasons ; because multiple head injuries over time can compound issues, and because if they noticed any cognitive deficits then they very much need to know if that is normal for your son or if it’s a new symptom following the concussion.
I think the dr was probably a little taken aback by the seriousness of the first head injury but was trying to remain professional and not comment on it beyond what needed to be asked and said in the context of your son’s concussion. And hiding that shock made them come across as difficult to read which has made you feel anxious, understandably.

I get why it worried you OP but please don't be. Hospitals (and GP's) don't have access to all records. For many adults, a lot of their record will still be on paper and I believe there is no plan to migrate them. For information I gave myself a scare recently and phoned 111 and they asked permission, which I gave, to add the information to my GP record.

No, assaulted by the parents.

Sounds like a good hospital. In my local hospital, when I pointed out symptoms that had nearly killed me twice before I was ignored.

There could be any number of deficits that a walking, talking child could experience. They could also affect the obs for concussion I'm guessing so he needed to know your son's baseline.

Think back to that horrible time when he was a baby - what would you have given to know that at 15 he'd be healthy and sporty. Anything I'm guessing, you'd have given anything. You've all done tremendously.

Agree with your dh I'm afraid.

You brought up the previous injury because you thought it was relevant. The doctor was just doing their job in following up asking how that affected your child, if at all.

Having been treated in 3 different hospitals in recent years, I can say they definitely don't have access to all records, or GP notes (although discharge letters/treatment plans are forwarded to GP and added to my notes).

I'm glad you're getting help @HorribleTime but you do need to be kinder to yourself and forgive yourself for an accident that happened so long ago

I had to take my 10yo dd to a&e last year and they asked her about possible abuse. In a child appropriate way. I think its part of procedure

Being lefthanded is a super power, and most lefthanded people are very creative! I can attest to that! 😁 Don’t worry OP, your DS will be fine, please don’t worry so much. Take care!

His job is to get all the information and sadly doctors don't really have the time to build rapport and be sensitive about these kind of issues. Thinking about what happened is obviously very upsetting for you and understandably it will bring up lots of emotions. From what you’ve said he doesn’t sound like he was questioning you in an accusatory way.
Developmental dyslexia is very very common, especially in families with neurodiversity. Trauma induced dyslexia is very rare. Even if it was related (which I’d bet my house it isn’t) it’s not the end of the world. I’m dyslexic and so are half my family, I wouldn’t change it if I could.

Maybe his manner was a little brusk- all a and e drs are overstretched, but I’m sure he just wanted to be thorough and make sure he’s not missing anything. My son had meningitis aged 8 weeks and is not under multiple hospitals and no the notes aren’t shared - grrrr! Aged 5 months it was going he has fluid all surrounding his brain which can be caused by meningitis but can also be caused by head injury so we had to have all these checks and investigations too. It is really stressful but I’m sure All is ok xxx

Hospitals cannot see each other’s notes etc, you’d think they could, but government is so far behind in tech terms. I guess the questions were relevant and you did nothing wrong so I wouldn’t feel guilty.

I think his questions have stirred up a lot of emotions linked to the original injury for you and so you are reading more into it than was meant. It must have been terrifying for you and then devastating to have been investigated when it was a simple accident.

What you have to remember is that Dr's don't know the people who walk through their doors and they have to ask these probing questions to satisfy themselves. Can you imagine being a Dr and finding out you missed an opportunity to save a child from abuse or an adult from dv?

When I broke my ankle the Dr seemed worried about me, she asked me repeatedly to explain how I had injured myself (it was a ridiculous story) and I noticed she did it again when my dh wasn't in the room. I think she was checking I hadn't been injured by my dh.

When my dd was in hospital as a baby with seizures every Dr repeatedly asked me if I'd drunk alcohol in pregnancy.....I stopped being offended by it in the end (I had been ridiculously careful prior to and during pregnancy).

I like to think that if this probing is helping someone somewhere then its something we just need to put up with.

You sound lovely but still slightly traumatised by his injury as a child and you still seem to be carrying a lot of guilt....even your irrational worries that his dyslexia was caused by the fall. Try to be kinder to yourself op.

@Ottersmith

Dyslexia is a subset of autism

what?!

Even if the doctor did have access to your son’s full medical records, it’d be much quicker for him to ask you a few questions to ascertain the facts then to trawl through 15 years of medical info that would probably be mostly irrelevant. The medical records also wouldn’t include answers to his questions about how it has affected your son since unless he’d been regularly visiting an outpatient clinic to monitor it since he was a baby.

Try not to overthink it. I know that’s easier said than done, but hopefully everyone here and your DH can help to reassure you that this is all completely standard and in no way was the doctor judging you.

I had a very similar thing with my baby, now a six year old and this encounter would have sent me into a complete spin ( in all honesty lots of things still do and I’m trying cbt to help). So I completely get your reaction, but I really just think the dr was trying to be thorough. Even if it was the same hospital he’d probably still ask rather than trying to find the original record and look through it. Hope this helps!

You have a happy, healthy 15yo doing sport, it's time to look at the wins. The only way YABU is if he knows you are listing his "faults" and feeling guilty about them, that would bring out complicated feelings in him.

There is no evidence of left handedness or dyslexia being associated with head injuries.

The Dr was asking you, not him, for two reasons: he was concussed and he can't be expected to remember being a baby.

It might be worth getting professional help over this as it's possible his life will have a few more bumps, like anyone else, and it isn't fair to either of you to frame them in this way rather than part and parcel of life.

Good luck to you both, I hope he gets over his concussion well.

Sometimes good doctors are blunt but they care and are thorough. He wanted as many pieces of information as he could so as not to miss anything. You sound like a wonderful mum who was there for him this time just as you were in his terrible accident when he was tiny. I can't believe that everyone (and there are loads) of people with dyslexia had a bump on the head as a baby so it's very unlikely to be connected.

It's called 'taking a full medical history'.

Your 15 year old can answer questions now, but he obviously cannot remember what happened as a baby, but you do.

Yes the Dr probably could look at your DS's records but that doesn't tell him/her how much you understood about what happened.

You might not think it is relevant but it can be. It's like as a woman if you break your arm you will be asked about your menstrual cycle.