I've gone for a walk

I have to say my own kids (older primary/early secondary) would be so upset if I walked out. Especially the younger one. I dont think they would continue with their night and would be so worried (even with their Dad looking after them well).

But if you think they need the shock tactics and talking to them hasn’t worked, they are safe with your DH so you really dont need to worry. Hopefully he is doing what he should do and explaining to them why they have pushed you to it.

Are there other thing stressing you out aswell as what you listed?

Not quite the same, but, my DSs were 11/13. Day time. They were endlessly verbally sparring with each other, and me, non-stop. Every request was met with aggressive belligerence.

I lost it. I can recall shouting, bellowing, at the top of my lungs, up the stairwell to the pair of them (with a tiny concern that the neighbours might hear 🤭) that this was going to STOP, RIGHT NOW, and if it didn't, I was WALKING OUT THAT DOOR AND NOT COMING BACK. I was SICK TO DEATH of the endless sniping and bickering. I'M TIRED, GOING OUT TO WORK EVERY DAY THEN COMING HOME TO DEAL WITH THIS. Just STOP!

I did reference that the elder goaded his brother relentlessly, very often in petty matters; but the younger rose to the bait, Every Single Time.

I think I used the word 'fuck' quite a lot 🤭

It was remarkably effective. They were both shocked. They discovered, that day, that their parents have boundaries, too. They don't have to wear your shit all the time.

It was cathartic, typing that.

They're now 25/23 and wonderful young men.

But no one needs to put up with poor behaviour from secondary schoolers.

I’d get myself some snacks and go to the cinema, dreamy!

@Caerulea bellendrical! 😂😂😂

sounds like you (and they!) need this.
don't go back before dark too early
enjoy!

Well done @longdistanceclaraclara I hope you are still away from home and treating yourself to a nice meal!!

What? You weren't there to greet him in your Basque and suspenders, with dinner on the table, after his Lordships' absence?

I’m so tempted to do this. What a brilliant idea.

I have teens so feel your pain. I did something similar but different because it was when mine were very young. Now-ex-DH had been away for work for a week, leaving me alone with a 6 month old baby and a 2 year old (and we lived rurally so no help or family nearby, toddler not in nursery yet), and when he got back of course I was completely exhausted and frazzled by constant demands of breastfeeding baby and typical challenging needy toddler. He was so fucking clueless that instead of taking over and taking care of me, he thought I would want to have sex that evening and was all miffed when I said no. FUCK THAT! I just walked out the door and went for a long walk to calm down, on my own.

Mum did this once...We were in a car on Holiday heading back to England...I think we were squabbling in the back seat {Me and Brother} and Mum and Dad were having an argument in the front seat over directions...I think.

Anyway, mum demanded that Dad stop the car, and she ran off in the rain.

We were 😯😯😯

Seeing Mum's retreating form through the rain.

We just waited there....

Us kids thought she might have gone for good.

Eventually she came back, still crying.

We were very relieved.

Years later she said ''I had nowhere to go to..and it was raining''.

We all remembered it as it was so unusual for her to have done something like that.

She could well have been pregnant with our 2nd Brother at the time...she could be very tearful, and cry for hours on end.

I did this, with my husband, took off on a Friday evening for a hotel, hubby wanted to go back on Saturday and I said they will hardly notice we’ve gone, being in bed until noon as teenagers etc. So we stayed until Sunday, worked a treat. Did it again the following summer when they were being brats again.

You go enjoy yourself and don’t even think about them. No communication is best.

Is there a nice pub with a beer garden nearby??? Xxx

Good for you! Enjoy 😍

I’ll add, I’ve never walked out but I have gone up to bed and pulled the covers over my head. I think they thought they’d broken me and went and tidied their rooms before apologising. That was a success.

Surely your husband will make food for everyone?

Sending sympathy and solidarity - mum of 12yo twins (13 in August) and a 16 yo. All girls. I love them, they’re great, but then sometimes they’re dicks. (Dd1 is actually very lovely 99% off the time)

Please stay out long enough for your family to have a good think about why you did this and their role in your distress, otherwise you'll soon be in the same situation again

I know a vicar's wife who did this years ago . . . it was a Sunday evening and she had been at everyone's beck & call all day and was reaching breaking point. It really made her husband think about how much she was doing and that he was taking her for granted

Hope you've got a nice place to go to for a while 💐

Nothing to add other than

1. i hope you are enjoying the peace
2. I loved long distance Clara!

Are you ok?

I think you might be my new hero. This should definitely be a thing when the household is being bellendrical - we just quietly walk out for a break. Love it.

Time for them to learn you’re not a slave op. I would stay out for as long as you want and make your own plans for tomorrow too, maybe also Sunday. They’ll be more appreciative when you aren’t around as much for them to take for granted.

Good stuff. If it's still sunny where you are I'd find a beer garden.

(Unless you mean dh and dc are physically fighting in which case I'd think you were a tad irresponsible to leave).

Enjoy x

Go to a pub, have a few gins - order some bar snacks and watch the football

Tomorrow, do a dinner rota so you're not responsible every night. The kids can cook fucking pizza a couple of nights a week. The point is that you need less mental load

Has DH messaged you to ask where you are?

He can make dinner for all of you.