To be paranoid about my Facebook stalking

I'm a closet FaceyB stalker, looking up ex boyfriends, women who were bitches to me in the 80s etc, I was mortified when a couple of them came up as ",people you may know"
Yikes!! Not seen these people for 40 plus years and married now so they wouldn't know who I am 🤣🤣

Sorry to say, but I’m pretty sure it does suggest you to them also. I’ve got a fairly decent social media following for my business, and I get suggested people who follow me on there that I recognise from them commenting on Instagram posts! Remove him from your suggested friends and hopefully it would do the same on his end.

It's the same with LinkedIn. I know who's been checking my profile because they appear on a 'people you may know' or suggested contacts list. It's a bit creepy.

Have you got his mobile number on your phone? I get all sorts of clients come up on my 'people you may know' and I haven't stalked them... so I've always put it down to mobile numbers!

Yes this. If you look at somebody's profile then you appear on that list. It's not worth it, especially with clients or in fact anybody that you wouldn't want to know that you've been looking at them.

I'm not a curious person so I don't do this but I can imagine how you feel. Just know that your 'stalking' does leave a footprint in that you appear on the people you may know list. It's not nearly as anonymous as people think it is.

Sorry yes I have had the experience of being suggested someone I know from work who I have never searched for and don't have on my personal phone, no mutual friends. So I think they searched for me.

OP, stop being paranoid. It won't suggest you as a friend to them. Only them as a friend to you.

This is absolutely true. I have met people for the first time, strangers with absolutely no connection to me or my friends, who have then suddenly appeared at the top of my 'people you might know' list.

I think one way to stop this from happening is set your self to only friends of friends can add you as a friend . I’ve never seen someone with just a message rather than add friend come up in my list before . It’s put me right off Facebook to be honest and I don’t really use it now .

I never comment on mums net posts but feel compelled to comment on this one because Facebook does absolutely suggest you as a friend if you look at someone’s profile . I know this for a fact after I snooped at someone’s I really shouldn’t have and they blocked me and then changed their name on Facebook ! Mortified ! Please don’t look anyone up if you don’t want them to know . I never look up anyone now like work colleagues bosses etc - was actually very cross when I realised Facebook had notified them . You will also sit right at the very top of their suggested friends list for ages ! I would suggest you block them and at least it will stop you from coming up again and maybe if you’re lucky they have not noticed but I doubt it . Facebook wants them to know

Yeah, I can.

This is absolutely how it works. Promise.

(I’ve worked at Facebook, and still work closely with them).

My recommended friends are people I have friends in common with, people whose profiles I have looked at, and people whose phone numbers I have saved in my phone. So I do occasionally get work colleagues/clients I don't know socially, and my elderly neighbour's daughter comes up as a suggestion because I have her number saved for emergencies. I doubt whether the people whose profiles I've looked at get me as a suggestion, purely because I think Facebook stalking is quite common and I would expect to see some people who don't fall into any of those three categories if people who had looked at my profile were recommended to me.

Does that work even if you have your location service turned off? And don’t have Facebook on your phone?

I turn location services off as soon as I set up a phone when I get a new one. Iv never had Facebook on my phone either.

im not doubting you obviously just musing.

I’ve had a couple of people I barely know suggested to me recently, because I’d exchanged one or two WhatsApp messages with them.

I have Facebook but rarely use it. Certainly don't go searching for people.

I frequently get friend suggestions for people I have never heard of. Some I know, some I don't. I absolutely have not searched for them and I find it highly unlikely they have searched for me.

I don't know how the algorithm works, but it's more than just actual searches or having friends in common as I have no Facebook friends either.

That would be because your phones were very close in location, and Facebook looks at that and asks if you know them.

We had some social media training at work years ago and this exact thing was mentioned. The speaker told us that if you look at someone's profile on 2 or 3 occasions, then you will be recommended as a suggested friend! We were all mortified as had probably all done our fair share of stalking. Since then, I have seen names pop up that I recognise but have no mutual facebook friends so now assume they have been peeping at my profile!

There’s still no way anyone could know you are stalking. Facebook would lose WAY to many users if this was the case.

Pretty sure this is how it works. Youve been looking at him, facebook knows this and also knows you arent friends, so it throws you the suggestion. Ive no idea if it throws them the same suggestion but i sincerely doubt it as they know people use if for stalking and the last thing they want is people closing their accounts.

I don’t know exactly how it works but I do know I get suggestions to befriend people I’ve spoken to years ago on WhatsApp (e.g. from dating apps) without me ever looking at their profile. So it pulls random info from somewhere and he would probably think it’s because you have his number/have emailed him/Googled his company/looked at his LinkedIn (or he’s done the same to you)

To be honest I’ve no idea how it works.

I remember once going out to an Indian restaurant with my dp and a few days later the waiter/manager came up as a friend suggestion.

i had never searched for him on any platform (including Facebook) in any capacity ever, I didn’t even know his name to search.

Infact I only realised it was him when I noticed the name of the restaurant appeared next to his name and picture. I thought it could have been the restaurant that caused it but then I realised it had been dp who had booked it so I’d never searched it either!

very odd! But I did think carefully about who I would look at on Facebook after that just because it highlighted that I had no idea how the algorithm worked!

I think it will possibly suggest you to him.
A couple of weeks ago a woman was in my ‘you might know’ people who popped up. Initially I thought who on earth is that? Didn’t recognise the name and surname. But I did recognise the first name and realised after a while it’s my second cousin (who I see once every 10 years at a funeral - literally). We have no mutual friends as she’s on the totally other side of the relatives so the only explanation is that she’s been looking for me on fb I would think.

Do you have his number in your phone or are your places of work on Facebook