To ask when you knew you had to split

This is a no brainer. He hasn’t heard what you have said at all. His behaviour is actually insulting to you in the light of what’s happened.

Being a single parent isn’t a walk in the park but I promise (from personal experience) it will be millions of times better than this. Get rid asap. You won’t look back and you’ll be building a better future for your children.

What's best for your kids is you being happy. So get rid of him. You won't regret it.

This won’t improve. You aren’t wrong for wanting to end things and you are going to be showing your children that it’s not acceptable to behave this way/be expected to tolerate this. Ask yourself would you want your children to have the same relationship you do? Often children learn the blueprint of what relationships look like from their parents.
it was that which did it for me. I’d don’t everything to make it work, but my energy wasn’t matched. I didn’t want my children to see what we had and think that was what love was.
it’s hard as a single parent but easier than feeling resentful all the time.

big hugs. I’m 3 years down the line, almost divorced after 2 and half years of proceedings and have never regretted leaving my husband.

Mine was a useless selfish lump, crisp bags and beer bottles by the telly…off to the gym, motorbike lessons, flying lessons etc. He then got violent. Game over.
They don’t change OP. A happier life is in your future (without the resentment and disappointments)…get rid of him.

he sounds like one of the Young Ones, living like a student,
with no responsibility, accountability or maturity - save yourself
(and your little ones of course) good luck

He wasn’t taking much responsibility for our family financially or otherwise which was bothering me but I was full of indecision, I realised to wasn’t getting any better so I knew I was going to have to make the decision. Then one night he was shouting, ranting and raving at me and the kids when something just snapped, I decided enough was enough and we left.

Bin him

You gave him a second chance Op but he doesn't appreciate it, he thinks it's business as usual. Since he feels no need to change what's the point?

When I realised he was continuing with the behaviour that had caused me a lot of pain .
I think you realise that although it will be tough on your own parenting , you will at least know where you stand and not constantly be let down by your partner .

It isn't easy but ultimately you cannot make someone else change their behaviour if they do not want to .

I have said this on other threads and read other people posting the same thing ;

This isn't on you . You have tried your best and put your family first and even after a trial separation he has not changed . To be the best parent you can be for your children , you need to look after your own health and well-being .

Take care of yourself and I hope that you are able to get support from friends and family .

Get rid of him before he gets his feet under the table!

Ask him to leave again don’t wait any longer … I’ve found being a solo parent hard.. so hard but I’m not angry that it always falls on me as I know it will so I’m not picking up someone else’s slack !!!

My nail in the coffin was when I asked for help putting DD to bed at night as night after night I put her to bed while he watched sport and drank beer yet the bills were 50/50 in a house I mostly owned!!! … when I asked him for help he said … “what you can’t put your DD to bed …. Do you need to see someone!!!!””

Lost all remaining respect then and there. I feel bad for my DD she’s stuck with a lousy dad but at least she has/ will have ( just starting the process) a happier mum