AIBU to resent my child?

Sounds incredibly tough. It won’t be forever though even though it feels that way. You’re doing a great job.

Have any concerns been raised about development?

Food I would put him in high chair three times a day put food out and give him time to eat. Then clear away. Offer snacks in between too. Limit milk offer water. Try not to show anger /frustration. If you are concerned contact hv.

My DD was late walking as soon as he takes his first steps he will be off a will be more tired . We did half water half milk .he will be more hungry 😋. Sounds like he's a bit fed up atm ! I think he will get better in time.could grandma or a friend have him for a morning mYbe .or a day in nursery maybe.look after yourself .you're important too!

I also had a “wants to do everything themselves but can’t” child (still do!). One of his first sentences was “(name) do it self”
I was at the end of my tether with trying to feed him. One weekend I was out and my husband just put his lunch down and got distracted by something and when he came back, DS had demolished a load of bolognaise by himself.

Try to remember - if they protest about things, it isn’t the end of the world. If they’re begging for milk you don’t have to give it to them. Now mine are older if they begged for sweets I wouldn’t just give in because I know what’s best for them.

It is hard to hear them scream and protest but they’re not the expert, you are.

@Mamai100 yes that’s true - but it’s much more likely that the child isn’t ND, most children aren’t and all the ones I’ve come across who won’t eat are simply filling up on milk and know that if they refuse food they’ll get milk instead.

But for sure if there are other issues at play the OP will need extra help, but for starters (and from a stranger on the internet) it’s worth trying what I’ve suggested.

All that might work for a NT child but there could be something else at play. If there are serious sensory issues around food a ND child won't just eat, they'd sooner starve.

Similar re baby groups, if your child is screaming the whole way through while the other babies sit calmly it will only make OP feel worse and even more isolated.

I'm not saying there is anything of real concern here, a lot of this can just be typical development or 'high needs baby/toddler'. But if there is those suggestions won't help.

It's pretty obvious that people saying cut out the milk and they will eat has never actually dealt with a child who is hard to wean. I favour keeping up the milk but before a fresh bottle attempting some new food with them. A lot of children like fruit purees because they are sweet. I think they were the first "solids" my children ate.

No it isn't. For some reason that claim has taken on a life of its own on the internet, but there's no evidence for it whatsoever. And it's quite reasonable for OP to feel concerned if her 1 year old is barely having any solids.

OP, where is he while you're working? Does he eat more solids then?

Op he probably isn't eating because he's teething. My DS went to being almost entirely breast feed again when cutting molars and canines at around 1 years old. One of my nipples actually cracked.

It's just a brutal time if you have a bad teether. But it will get better once the teeth are through. Are you giving pain relief for the teething?

Teething is hell on earth.
What about Lolly ices or ice cream? 100% orange juice Lolly ice

Baby groups. Ones where everyone else has crazy children and not placid little robots.

My eldest was an awful sleeper round that time he used to take hours to get to bed too

Oooo I could have written this after a bad night a few months ago.
It's shit. It's hard. It seems thankless.
There's already some great advice upthread but I couldn't read and scroll on without saying. You are not alone.
For me its (mostly) easier now she's walking and talking. The frustration eases massively when they can communicate what they want (some of the time anyway )

You don’t have to like the younger years.

Which countries routinely breastfeed until 5/6? Do tell.

It’s bloody hard and work is a break but also back breaking when you have no sleep.
Does DH share the nights?
could you have a night away in a hotel to get some rest?

I developed PND with a really hard baby. We ended up hiring a super nanny for 2 days to help get the sleep and food better. She had good suggestions and let me sleep - worth every penny. Sometimes when you are exhausted you can’t see the wood from the trees.

The worldwide average age that children are breastfed until is four years old. So the fact he wants milk is not bad. Just give it to him. Why do you want to stop it?
Plenty of kids don’t walk at his age. As you say, he is a baby.
It is relentless at that stage. Can you go back to work and get him into nursery?

How is he getting on? What’s he doing physically, can he say any words or communicate? I also have a 15 month old son, none of it is easy. Xx

How is he getting on? What’s he doing physically, can he say any words or communicate? I also have a 15 month old son, none of it is easy. Xx

In some ways this is a bit of a worst of both worlds age, they are no longer a potentially placid and easily pleased baby but they still can't do much for themselves. I don't blame you for feeling burnt out by it and I hope this stage passes soon because in real life you can't treasure every moment.

Both my children were incredibly hard to wean. The eldest would eat only about 4 things when he was finally coaxed to eat stuff. The youngest was very slow to eat solids as well. We tried all sorts of things to try to get them to eat. The eldest as an adult is a wide ranging vegetarian and the youngest is a keen carnivore who now eats a very wide range of food. I still remember trying to pass off custard as Tubby Custard when one was a keen watcher of the Teletubby television show. Strangely, the one childhood thing thst persisted into adulthood was a hatred of raw tomatoes and one still hates strawberries and the other adores them. Try not to stress too much about it and think gradual steps. Keep trying tiny amounts of food and they hopefully find something they like. Vary the textures too as that can be as important as taste. Apparently as a baby I was very difficult to wean too.

Be careful what you wish for too. My children could sprint - and I mean sprint -at about 11 months old. It is a nightmare because they are super mobile and have no sense. No, they didn't turn out superb athletes or anything and it is just a thing in their dad's family. We found one of them at about one climbing up a step ladder. A friend had a similar child who she found scaling up a chimney - luckily she saw his feet poking out - and wrenched him and a large amount of soot down.

Don't be so hard on yourself op, we've all been there. There's some good advice here. Do you have any support from friends or family? I would definitely suggest getting him into nursery a day or two, I found both mine really ate better there as they were in a different environment and coping the other babies.

You are not failing. No mum has it all figured out. I'd take a few days and reduce the milk. It'll be hard tantruming galore but in a few days time he'll probably eat more.

Will he not eat food if you let him feed himself with finger food? Mine had milk in a bottle until they were two but mostly at bedtime.

The best thing is to be relaxed about mealtimes and milestones. He hasn't read the baby books.

Sounds really tough and to add none of us have our shit together and generally wing it each day. Those that say they have are telling porkies.

Break it down a little. In regards to the milk he really now needs to be attempting solids. Can you strap him into the highchair? Put what you are eating in front of him. Make meal times fun but take the pressure of getting him to try something. If he refuses it don't make a drama out of it, just take him out of the chair at the end of the meal. Basically get him used to the idea of it's a mealtime here's what we are eating. Perhaps use some fun cookie cutters and make him dinosaur sandwich or hearts. Put little bits on his tray so he isn't overwhelmed i.e one cooked carrot stick, one potato etc. If he eats it then you can offer more. I would also possibly increase the time between milk and mealtimes so that he has an appetite. I wouldn't cut the last milk feed down if he's waking up in the night until he's actually eating food.

The tantrums, what do you think are causing them? Does he want to try things himself? Perhaps some autonomy of helping put his clean nappy on or help put his drinks bottle in the bag before you go out. Sometimes they get frustrated at this age when they want to do things but can't verbalise it. The tantrums are normal though and it does totally throw you out when your calm obliging child suddenly becomes this angry red faced monster.

If you can is going back to work an option? If not hold in there, you aren't long off getting some free hours and then you'll be able to have time to feel more like yourself.