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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to wonder if a high ponytail sends a message I'm unaware of?

357 replies

AuntieWithAttitude · 21/06/2024 12:19

I was watching a friend's kid after school and told her about a summer camp where I used to work. We often helped the kids put their hair in 'camper buns'—a messy bun right on top of their heads. She asked me to do it for her, but didn't like it, so we ended up with a super high ponytail instead. She loved it and had fun swishing it around.

When her mum saw it, she commented on how high it was and then lowered it.
I didn't really think too much of it, until today on TV a character wore a high ponytail, and other characters remarked on how high it was, saying things like 'erm, are you sure you want to wear your hair like that?'.

Am I missing something about the significance of high ponytails? I can be bad at this stuff, subtle cues and such, I'm wondering if I've caused offence to my friend somehow. She seemed really weird about it. Don't want to make the same mistake again if I've misunderstood the significance of something.

OP posts:
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ItsVeryHyacinthBucket · 21/06/2024 15:38

High ponytails piss me off, I hate it when people walk/run swinging their ponytail side to side, it looks so pretentious. It’s always a princessy, up their own arse person who does this.

Other than that they signify:
slapped back and greasy: Croydon facelift
messy bun: rough as fuck
scraped back with tidy bun: girl who thinks she’s a pretty ballerina type, generally a wanker
fashion pack type (also a wanker)

frightenedmum1 · 21/06/2024 15:37

It is very young and bouncy. It feels to me like the preppy Varsity cheerleader.Middle class, sporty American college girl. I think a high ponytail looks energetic, like you get things done
The Croydon facelift is every strand of hair scraped tightly back on a lady of a certain age.

IncompleteSenten · 21/06/2024 15:35

PrincessMee · 21/06/2024 14:43

It's usually seen as a bit chavvy but they have gone to new extremes now with the slicked down ones with the baby hair too.

I think that looks very neat and tidy.
Is neat now "chavvy"?

Aren't people weird? Looking tidy is somehow low status.

MsLuxLisbon · 21/06/2024 15:34

JurassicClark · 21/06/2024 15:31

“High ponytail” on the crown (like Barbie silhouette) is seen as healthy and either cheerleader or jolly hockey sticks depending on USA/U.K.

”High ponytail” right on top of the head (like a pineapple) is disparaged as low class or chav. Or, as my head of 6th form once said, “how very council house of you.”

I agree. High pony a la Barbie is quite stylish and elegant, with certain clothes it looks very classy. Pineapple style looks like Vicky Pollard.

JurassicClark · 21/06/2024 15:31

“High ponytail” on the crown (like Barbie silhouette) is seen as healthy and either cheerleader or jolly hockey sticks depending on USA/U.K.

”High ponytail” right on top of the head (like a pineapple) is disparaged as low class or chav. Or, as my head of 6th form once said, “how very council house of you.”

MsLuxLisbon · 21/06/2024 15:27

Floorbard · 21/06/2024 15:25

Before I started using this site, I thought using ‘common’ as an insult went out of fashion decades ago! How sad that some people seem to be stuck in the 1950s.

Well, you live and learn! There is nothing 'stuck in the fifties' about not like Croydon facelifts. They go along with big hoop earrings and tracksuits, it isn't a look most people on this site would want to go for.

Floorbard · 21/06/2024 15:25

MsLuxLisbon · 21/06/2024 15:19

It's called a 'Croydon Facelift' and it looks common, which is why your friend didn't want her daughter sporting one. Don't think too much of it, you'll know another time.

Before I started using this site, I thought using ‘common’ as an insult went out of fashion decades ago! How sad that some people seem to be stuck in the 1950s.

Floorbard · 21/06/2024 15:23

ISeriouslyDoubtIt · 21/06/2024 12:50

Of course they do! See how many posters think it's the style of a rough girl, I agree with them. The mum won't have thought it might give her daughter a headache, it's because she didn't want her child giving off chav vibes. It's along the same lines as little boys with number 1 cuts or patterns cut into their hair.

I’d much rather my child gave off ‘chav vibes’ than have a weirdly judgemental parent!

bikeylikey · 21/06/2024 15:23

Was only thinking about this yesterday for some reason. I've just surveyed my colleagues and this is the outcome:

Higher the ponytail the 'lower class' someone is - and the camper bun, when too high, is the worst. Lower ponytail or bun is fine apparently.

MsLuxLisbon · 21/06/2024 15:19

It's called a 'Croydon Facelift' and it looks common, which is why your friend didn't want her daughter sporting one. Don't think too much of it, you'll know another time.

StrawberryFlowers · 21/06/2024 15:04

Pebbles in the Flintstones looked cute with it

TeapotTitties · 21/06/2024 14:50

TwigletsAndRadishes · 21/06/2024 14:47

Essex? It's a Croydon Facelift actually. Leave lovely Essex out of it.

Yeah, a facelift here in Essex is an actual facelift 😁

Arewealljustloosingtheplot · 21/06/2024 14:49

Yes very ‘Croydon facelift’. Also top knot buns are here know as ‘chav knots’ depends where you live.

I much prefer a high pony to a low one but I’d use a central parting rather than scraping it all back!

TwigletsAndRadishes · 21/06/2024 14:47

MILTOBE · 21/06/2024 12:26

It's the Essex facelift thing isn't it, where women were ridiculed (as bloody usual) for how they wanted to look.

Essex? It's a Croydon Facelift actually. Leave lovely Essex out of it.

AuntieWithAttitude · 21/06/2024 14:47

TwattyMcFuckFace · 21/06/2024 13:50

I'm wondering if I've caused offence to my friend somehow.

I'm struggling with this.

Do you mean you were wondering if it just wasn't to her taste?

Or do you tend to misuse the word 'offended'?

Maybe. As I've said I misunderstand things sometimes. Trying to learn whenever I can.

OP posts:
AuntieWithAttitude · 21/06/2024 14:46

Jk987 · 21/06/2024 13:55

Her mum might have lowered it because high pony tails can pull the roots a bit.

What gets me is why mum didn't explain? or why you didn't ask her? .

Instead you've gone down a rabbit hole of overthinking it...

...not quite. In the moment I didn't think anything of it, then watched some greys today where there was a whole lot of chat about a high pony and I wondered if there was something to it. No rabbits anywhere.

Sometimes I miss things, and I find asking questions to be a good way to learn.

OP posts:
PrincessMee · 21/06/2024 14:43

It's usually seen as a bit chavvy but they have gone to new extremes now with the slicked down ones with the baby hair too.

AuntieWithAttitude · 21/06/2024 14:43

TwattyMcFuckFace · 21/06/2024 14:20

Whaaaa...ive been sending messages with my hair?

Don't knock it.

The WiFi is shit in my hairy-a 😁

😂

OP posts:
Grammarnut · 21/06/2024 14:37

kitsuneghost · 21/06/2024 12:24

It has always been a very popular style with girls from the rougher end of town.
Alongside fake eyelashes and fake tan.
I would never mess with a girl with a high ponytail.

A bit classist. A high pony-tail looks attractive. One half-way down the head looks sloppy - and falls out easily.

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/06/2024 14:34

SummaLuvin · 21/06/2024 12:46

I once read (or saw in a documentary) that many rapists specifically target women with hair in ponytails or 1 plait as it's something they can grab and use as physical leverage. I now wear my hair down if it's late and I'm alone. I doubt this was the issue for your friend and her child though. Perhaps it's a preference or due to alopecia as mentioned.

Top tip from my kickboxing instructor. Anyone grabs your hair, reach up and crush their hand into your head. Don't pull, it hurts you. Crush, it hurts them. They let go, you run.

YouJustDoYou · 21/06/2024 14:33

Personally for us in my family (thick, long hair) it hurts to wear a high ponytail.

CatMumSlave · 21/06/2024 14:28

My god some snobs on here!!

MagnumsPIsMustache · 21/06/2024 14:26

kitsuneghost · 21/06/2024 12:24

It has always been a very popular style with girls from the rougher end of town.
Alongside fake eyelashes and fake tan.
I would never mess with a girl with a high ponytail.

I think it's called the 'Croydon facelift'.

LaMontser · 21/06/2024 14:24

I had a high ponytail the other week and one of my 17 year olds walked past and said “alright jojo siwa”. 😞

Demonhunter · 21/06/2024 14:21

I thought Ariana Grande made them popular again with the new gens?

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