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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to wonder if a high ponytail sends a message I'm unaware of?

357 replies

AuntieWithAttitude · 21/06/2024 12:19

I was watching a friend's kid after school and told her about a summer camp where I used to work. We often helped the kids put their hair in 'camper buns'—a messy bun right on top of their heads. She asked me to do it for her, but didn't like it, so we ended up with a super high ponytail instead. She loved it and had fun swishing it around.

When her mum saw it, she commented on how high it was and then lowered it.
I didn't really think too much of it, until today on TV a character wore a high ponytail, and other characters remarked on how high it was, saying things like 'erm, are you sure you want to wear your hair like that?'.

Am I missing something about the significance of high ponytails? I can be bad at this stuff, subtle cues and such, I'm wondering if I've caused offence to my friend somehow. She seemed really weird about it. Don't want to make the same mistake again if I've misunderstood the significance of something.

OP posts:
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19
MumblesParty · 21/06/2024 16:35

OP I’m genuinely confused about this.
When you say “high” ponytail, what do you actually mean? I assumed it was literally at the top of her head, like a pineapple. But other posters seem to be saying the ponytail Kate Middleton had in the tennis photo is a high ponytail.

JurassicClark · 21/06/2024 16:34

What would you suggest I do with my hair, to avoid upsetting people?

Stay inside wearing sackcloth and ashes and keeping your thoughts* to yourself, @MumblesParty, like all good women should.

*Obviously if you can avoid having thoughts altogether, that's even better.

FakeMiddleton · 21/06/2024 16:34

@MumblesParty - Britney. 2007.

(That's a joke. Swish it x 1000)

MumblesParty · 21/06/2024 16:31

ItsVeryHyacinthBucket · 21/06/2024 15:38

High ponytails piss me off, I hate it when people walk/run swinging their ponytail side to side, it looks so pretentious. It’s always a princessy, up their own arse person who does this.

Other than that they signify:
slapped back and greasy: Croydon facelift
messy bun: rough as fuck
scraped back with tidy bun: girl who thinks she’s a pretty ballerina type, generally a wanker
fashion pack type (also a wanker)

My hair is just below shoulder length. When it’s hot I like to tie it up, also when I’m exercising. I expect it swings when I’m running. What would you suggest I do with my hair, to avoid upsetting people?

IncompleteSenten · 21/06/2024 16:31

Is this the ponytail we're all on about?

to wonder if a high ponytail sends a message I'm unaware of?
JurassicClark · 21/06/2024 16:30

IncompleteSenten · 21/06/2024 16:26

What a total wanker your 6th form head was.

Edited

Absolutely. A complete git in every regard.

IncompleteSenten · 21/06/2024 16:26

JurassicClark · 21/06/2024 15:31

“High ponytail” on the crown (like Barbie silhouette) is seen as healthy and either cheerleader or jolly hockey sticks depending on USA/U.K.

”High ponytail” right on top of the head (like a pineapple) is disparaged as low class or chav. Or, as my head of 6th form once said, “how very council house of you.”

What a total wanker your 6th form head was.

FallingIsLearning · 21/06/2024 16:22

If a high ponytail is good enough for the Princess of Wales, then I don’t think you need to worry about it looking ‘chavvy’.

https://www.instyle.com/kate-middleton-perky-ponytail-tennis-training-wimbledon-7553030

It’s exactly where you want to place the ponytail for a ballet bun, so I do worry about traction alopecia, so we try to alternate with a Giselle bar.

Kate Middleton Sported the Perkiest Ponytail Ever for a Tennis Match With Roger Federer

Kate Middleton styled her hair in a sky-high ponytail for day on the tennis court with Roger Ferdrer.

https://www.instyle.com/kate-middleton-perky-ponytail-tennis-training-wimbledon-7553030

FakeMiddleton · 21/06/2024 16:17

😆 Almost as bad as the towel situation when you get back from the hair wash at the hairdresser.

MorrisZapp · 21/06/2024 16:16

FakeMiddleton · 21/06/2024 16:13

I don't think the majority of people look good in a low pony. If I wear one, it gives "medieval monk".

@MsLuxLisbon - fair. I admit I hadn't RTFT.

I look a bit founding father in a low pony, they were all the rage in the 80s though.

FakeMiddleton · 21/06/2024 16:13

MorrisZapp · 21/06/2024 16:10

Jess Cartner-Morley wrote about pony tail heights and all the implications. Basically, low is smart and high is fun. I'll see if I can find it.

I don't think the majority of people look good in a low pony. If I wear one, it gives "medieval monk".

@MsLuxLisbon - fair. I admit I hadn't RTFT.

MorrisZapp · 21/06/2024 16:10

Jess Cartner-Morley wrote about pony tail heights and all the implications. Basically, low is smart and high is fun. I'll see if I can find it.

shearwater2 · 21/06/2024 16:09

Nope.

Cliedi · 21/06/2024 16:08

its ‘chavvy’. I thought that was fairly universal

shearwater2 · 21/06/2024 16:08

ItsVeryHyacinthBucket · 21/06/2024 15:38

High ponytails piss me off, I hate it when people walk/run swinging their ponytail side to side, it looks so pretentious. It’s always a princessy, up their own arse person who does this.

Other than that they signify:
slapped back and greasy: Croydon facelift
messy bun: rough as fuck
scraped back with tidy bun: girl who thinks she’s a pretty ballerina type, generally a wanker
fashion pack type (also a wanker)

Fucking hell.

shearwater2 · 21/06/2024 16:06

Testina · 21/06/2024 12:29

Guessing… but there is a look with a super high pony, combined with “pieces” (two stands pulled out, one either side) and completed with huge hoop gold earrings
Sometimes called a Croydon facelift. Considered “chavvy”.
I want to say Catherine Tate’s Lauren - but though the earrings and pieces are there, the pony isn’t particularly high.
But I suspect this is what the person is getting at.

(to be clear: I don’t think it’s “chavvy, don’t use that words, and have a daughter who sometimes styles like this)

Except it looks more like a low ponytail on that picture.

I have to have my ponytail pretty high for yoga or the gym, as otherwise I am lying on the ponytail. It's quite a classic 1950s style (I have a fringe as well) and not chavvy.

MsLuxLisbon · 21/06/2024 16:04

FakeMiddleton · 21/06/2024 16:03

And for those saying chavvy...nay! I'm as RP as they come. It's a vibe.

We are saying chavvy because we aren't talking about the same thing that you are. We mean the Vicky Pollard look, nobody is swinging that ironically.

FakeMiddleton · 21/06/2024 16:03

And for those saying chavvy...nay! I'm as RP as they come. It's a vibe.

FakeMiddleton · 21/06/2024 16:02

I fucking love a high pony tail and swing it about in an ironic manner à la Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion (where Lisa Kudrow or Mira Sorvino is in fancy dress as Madonna circa Gaultier era)

The only downside for me is tension headache risk/pulling of follicles

Notaflippinclue · 21/06/2024 15:42

A bit chavvy

MadameMassiveSalad · 21/06/2024 15:41

Ffs stop calling people chavvy.
It really doesn't reflect well on you.

IvanaTinkles · 21/06/2024 15:41

bigageap · 21/06/2024 12:34

Im from Essex and we call it the northern facelift 🤣🤣
got to love a stereotype!

I grew up in Berkshire & it was known as a Romford facelift there! Didn’t stop me from sporting one then, and still now occasionally!

MadameMassiveSalad · 21/06/2024 15:40

ichundich · 21/06/2024 12:32

Better than chav buns.

🙄

MsLuxLisbon · 21/06/2024 15:40

frightenedmum1 · 21/06/2024 15:37

It is very young and bouncy. It feels to me like the preppy Varsity cheerleader.Middle class, sporty American college girl. I think a high ponytail looks energetic, like you get things done
The Croydon facelift is every strand of hair scraped tightly back on a lady of a certain age.

That's different, the preppy look is from the crown. The 'pineapple' look is what I assume the OP was talking about, and that looks common, which is why the other mum would have vetoed it.

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