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to wonder if a high ponytail sends a message I'm unaware of?

357 replies

AuntieWithAttitude · 21/06/2024 12:19

I was watching a friend's kid after school and told her about a summer camp where I used to work. We often helped the kids put their hair in 'camper buns'—a messy bun right on top of their heads. She asked me to do it for her, but didn't like it, so we ended up with a super high ponytail instead. She loved it and had fun swishing it around.

When her mum saw it, she commented on how high it was and then lowered it.
I didn't really think too much of it, until today on TV a character wore a high ponytail, and other characters remarked on how high it was, saying things like 'erm, are you sure you want to wear your hair like that?'.

Am I missing something about the significance of high ponytails? I can be bad at this stuff, subtle cues and such, I'm wondering if I've caused offence to my friend somehow. She seemed really weird about it. Don't want to make the same mistake again if I've misunderstood the significance of something.

OP posts:
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TwattyMcFuckFace · 21/06/2024 14:20

WiddlinDiddlin · 21/06/2024 14:18

Whaaaa... ive been sending messages with my hair?

High pony or high bun here as it's so long now that even with a mid-height pony, I'm trapping it behind my back/top of my bum and giving myself a neck injury if I try to move my head quickly. Bun at bedtime (alternated with a plait) as it all has to be out of the way of the CPAP mask straps and not tie me to the bed/hurt my head/affect my sleeping position.

Whaaaa...ive been sending messages with my hair?

Don't knock it.

The WiFi is shit in my hairy-a 😁

TheChosenTwo · 21/06/2024 14:19

I often sport a high pony on day 3 of unwashed but straightened hair if I’ve gone to the gym or even just during the day - keeps the hair off my face and looks tidy 😂
Of all the things to be creating a fuss over I can’t believe a pony tail is one of them!
I also stick it in a bun for swimming - come to me for all hair faux pas crimes against fashion!!

WiddlinDiddlin · 21/06/2024 14:18

Whaaaa... ive been sending messages with my hair?

High pony or high bun here as it's so long now that even with a mid-height pony, I'm trapping it behind my back/top of my bum and giving myself a neck injury if I try to move my head quickly. Bun at bedtime (alternated with a plait) as it all has to be out of the way of the CPAP mask straps and not tie me to the bed/hurt my head/affect my sleeping position.

EmeraldsAreForever · 21/06/2024 14:17

"Founding father" made me smile though! Do you tie it with a small velvet ribbon in a tiny bow?

Idontgiveashitanymore · 21/06/2024 14:16

Chavvy , Croydon face lift 🤣

GhostFaen · 21/06/2024 14:15

My 3yo came home from nursery with her hair in a Vicky Pollard pony tail as they often do the girls hair as a fun activity.

She just didn’t look anything like herself. It was weird. Plaits, space buns and high buns she still looks like herself, but I hated how it looked. It was just wrong.
Left it until bedtime despite my feelings. Sent a sweet video to friends and they straight away asked what was up with her hair.

EmeraldsAreForever · 21/06/2024 14:14

There was a poster on here with the user name "Kim Wexler's ponytail" which I always loved (username and ponytail!)

Other than that, what a fucking depressing thread this is as a demonstration of misogyny. Either as a reflection of society, or worse, actively demonstrated by posters themselves.

Limth · 21/06/2024 14:10

WetBandits · 21/06/2024 13:51

No idea. I love a high ponytail. If I wear a low ponytail, I look like a Founding Father.

That's hilarious.

I tried the centre parting, sleeked down, low-ponytail look recently. I was going for a kind of Lily Collins vibe. DP said I looked like Jas Mann from Babylon Zoo.

Howbizarre22 · 21/06/2024 14:07

This is the biggest load of bollocks Iv ever read! Especially the classist comments. High ponytail means…..Dern dern DERRRRRRRRRRN !!!
Her hair is tied up in a high ponytail 🤷🏼‍♀️

Time to get a hobby & stop overthinking!

Howbizarre22 · 21/06/2024 14:05

piperatthegates · 21/06/2024 12:28

I always knew of it as a Croydon facelift. Must be dependant on where you live. But it was also the style favoured by Matt Lucas as Vicky Pollard.

Vicky pollard had her hair down?? 🤣

oakleaffy · 21/06/2024 14:03

WetBandits · 21/06/2024 13:51

No idea. I love a high ponytail. If I wear a low ponytail, I look like a Founding Father.

🤣

That's so funny!

to wonder if a high ponytail sends a message I'm unaware of?
CoraPirbright · 21/06/2024 13:58

The bun on the very top of the head is something I really can’t understand. I am sure it’s practical but so are lots of other do’s and who wants to look like a cottage loaf?

SpaceMaze · 21/06/2024 13:58

Jeez. I’m glad I didn’t know any of this. Also glad I don’t hang around people who would be bothered by a hair style 👎🏼

SoupChicken · 21/06/2024 13:55

I wouldn’t go any higher than the “Barbie” pony tail or it goes a bit Vicky Pollard, but too low and I look like a pirate, there’s no winning really!

Jk987 · 21/06/2024 13:55

Her mum might have lowered it because high pony tails can pull the roots a bit.

What gets me is why mum didn't explain? or why you didn't ask her? .

Instead you've gone down a rabbit hole of overthinking it...

sparkleowl · 21/06/2024 13:52

Auburngal · 21/06/2024 12:48

Its the bun is the attitude hair style.

The higher up the bun and more tight it is, the bigger the bitch.

As witnessed myself at work and a couple of females near me have bitch buns and have a serious attitude problem.

Bitch buns! Love it.

WetBandits · 21/06/2024 13:51

No idea. I love a high ponytail. If I wear a low ponytail, I look like a Founding Father.

TwattyMcFuckFace · 21/06/2024 13:50

I'm wondering if I've caused offence to my friend somehow.

I'm struggling with this.

Do you mean you were wondering if it just wasn't to her taste?

Or do you tend to misuse the word 'offended'?

Crispynoodle · 21/06/2024 13:50

Blooming hope not! I'm 58 and always wear it high! It looks weird on me if it's low

BingoMarieHeeler · 21/06/2024 13:49

I love a high pony. But then I DGAF what people think when they look at me generally. Think of it as good filter for judgy people.

sparkleowl · 21/06/2024 13:48

Bertsmum22 · 21/06/2024 12:35

Maybe because it bloody hurts after a while!

Yeah, not good for the hair or scalp if tight either.
I hate seeing babies and very tiny girls with hardly any hair having it scraped into tails or big bows or a headband clamped on a little head.
In your case OP, don’t worry about it you just wanted to find a nice ponytail style for her.All young girls like a swishy ponytail.

YankSplaining · 21/06/2024 13:48

SummaLuvin · 21/06/2024 12:46

I once read (or saw in a documentary) that many rapists specifically target women with hair in ponytails or 1 plait as it's something they can grab and use as physical leverage. I now wear my hair down if it's late and I'm alone. I doubt this was the issue for your friend and her child though. Perhaps it's a preference or due to alopecia as mentioned.

That’s an urban legend.

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/assaulted-tale-aka-this-bird-wont-fly/

Rape Prevention Advice

Will heeding the advice given in an Internet missive keep you from being raped?

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/assaulted-tale-aka-this-bird-wont-fly/

CruCru · 21/06/2024 13:47

I wonder if it is partly because a girl who has her hair in a high ponytail isn't going to be able to wear a helmet of any kind without redoing the ponytail. A friend once said that low ponytails look "dowdy" - it's the hairstyle someone does when they plan to wear a riding or cycling helmet.

Toastjusttoast · 21/06/2024 13:46

In your example the reason is probably snobbery but my reason for not having my hair like that or my kids is that it gives you a bloody headache! Plaits are the most comfortable.

YankSplaining · 21/06/2024 13:42

Bombast · 21/06/2024 12:31

Yes, it’s got non-aspirational lower-class connotations for some. Like those giant Jojo bows from a few years back.

Those were considered “lower class” in the UK? Here in the US they were just the “in thing” for preteen girls.