Is this inappropriate? Family photo.

No. Your concern falls dangerously close to the practice of being offended by proxy. This is a huge problem in Society today - everyone overthinks everything, all the time…

Wild guess - you don’t like this other friend much..

I really hope this isn’t just a case of Op not like the friend who posted a picture and jumped at this to try and get people she doesn’t know to agree with her.

Because that would mean she is using her friends bereavement as an opportunity to bitch about the 3rd person

I can kind of see where you're coming from but equally, nothing anyone says or does can possibly make the loss of a child any easier.

But think of all the people out on the street! We never know what difficulties they’re going through - new babies, couples in love, and other happy parts of life should be kept inside so as not to upset them.

🙄🙄🙄

One of my closest friends lost her child unexpectedly at age 7. She said that the most hurtful devastating thing she experienced was certainly not "life going on" but people ignoring her, avoiding her, and basically dropping her as a friend because they simply didnt know what to say/do.

From what she said she would not have had an issue with a family picture at all. What she did find incredibly hurtful on the other hand were people acting like it was a taboo to even speak her name- it was horribly isolating for her at a time when she needed the most support. In fact, I often bring up her daughter in conversation because I know she wants to talk about her, she might not be here now but she existed and thats very, very important to her and us as a group.

I would say it's insensitive and personally wouldn't have posted it.

If her primary concern was her friend’s welfare, the fact that the friend liked the picture would have been enough to reassure her. I’m getting the vibe that she wanted everyone to gasp at the insensitivity because she doesn’t like the picture-posting friend, and she wanted other people to agree that this person is horrible.

My friend after her dd passed aged 10 specifically requested we continue to post as we usually would. She needed some level of normality she said.

The friend may have assumed that the grieving friend wouldn’t be on SM either

THIS. I would have assumed that the friend wouldn't even be on social media if she was finding it too painful as that seems common sense to me.

You come across as very hostile to this friend, this seems less about a genuine query of "is this inappropriate?" and more about raging at her- what's the back story here because I am sure there is more to this than you've said....

Other peoples lives go on... changing your own profile pic to a family holiday shot is in no way insensitive to dead children.

Not the same but I went through infertility and then after 6 years of trying, cancer and fertility treatments I finally got pregnant to suffer a MMC. It hit me hard and several friends got pregnant right after including my best friend... of course they posted their pregnancy journey on THEIR page. I just simply muted seeing the posts, they're still my friends and their own paths have nothing to do with my journey, the world doesn't revolve around me.

this is one of the reasons I don't post photos on social media. I never know at any one time what difficulties people are going through and how they might feel looking at snapshots of whatever nice thing i would want to post eg new babies in the family. If I want to share photos with someone, I just send them directly.

very sorry to hear about your friend. can't imagine how difficult that is.

YABU

I’m surprised grieving friend is even on SM because surely it’s full of people snd their kids.
The friend may have assumed that the grieving friend wouldn’t be on SM either.

The other friend should not stop posting about her kids, just because her other friend is grieving.
If that’s the case it will be months or years before she can post her kids.

I’m sure the grieving friend was aware that some photos may be upsetting/triggering for her but she chose to go on SM, so perhaps it brings her comfort in some way.

I don’t think there is any right or wrong way to act in these circumstances.
This friend is choosing to carry on posting photos, whilst you are choosing to wait X amount of time before doing so.
I don’t think either of you are wrong.

Don't over cook it.. op is just thinking of her friend and venting here and or just asking the question... I think the only one who needs to wind their neck in...

I wouldn’t have posted it but then again, I wouldn’t judge the person posting the photo.

Focus on supporting your friend instead of looking for problems that are either insignificant, or in this case simply isn't there.

I know you say you haven't said anything to any one other than in this post, but your your friend needs someone in her corner who's head doesn't even go to these places.

This is very true too.

Sometimes I know grieving families don't want their loved ones to hide or not carry on their lives or not keep them in the loop because they are worried the family are grieving. Sometimes it's a comfort to see others and their families and to be included in being able to see this and be involved.

I think posting the photo is fine.

BUT, if my best friend had lost her child only ten days before, I don't think I'd be in any fit state for posting happy photos on FB. I'd still be very much wrapped up in the loss and grieving for my friend.

After how many days will her friends be okay to post pictures of their family online in your moral framework?

This is why people who’ve suffered extreme grief or are widowed often complain about being ignored or left alone. People getting their knockers in a twist about how to be “respectful” rather than recognising life goes on.

Grief vulturing at its worst
Not your loss
wind your neck in

I can see your point OP, I wouldn't have posted that myself.

You're overthinking it. Your grieving friend will not suddenly expect those around her to stop celebrating and being proud of their own families.

In any group there will always be someone who is having a dreadful time and someone who is having a wonderful time. It's just life.

I think it's insensitive but that Facebook for you- the work of the Devil too often.