To hate icebreakers

A former colleague used to call icebreakers 'a slow creeping death', which is accurate.

I am very glad to be retired, seems it’s increasingly difficult to just go to work, do what you are paid for and go home. It’s like every employer wants to be seen as a family. It was bad enough when I was working and I retired 5 years ago.

My go-to response
Fron 2.15 onwards

I agree with all of this.

I am very much an open book and not private at all but even I hate these kinds of tasks. Why would I divulge something that nobody knows about me? There is a very good reason why nobody knows about that particular thing. I also know that I am not that unique so would be hard to find three things that make me unique. It's complete bullshit and serves no purpose nor does it bring people together.

As someone who runs courses for people who don't know each other, where a certain amount of openness is required, this is something I struggle with. I'm aware people hate icebreakers but there's a certain window at the start to get everyone vaguely acquainted with each other before we dig into the meaty stuff and I'm never quite sure how to do it. Usually I stick to something relevant to the course - ie people need to talk about the project they're working on. One thing I found effective is asking people to pair off, learn about each others' projects then describe them to the group - that worked quite well as it got people talking to each other.

One thing I will say is that responses to icebreakers can be revealing about the type of person/employee someone is. For good or for bad, it's very exposing. Refusal to participate can be a strong signal that someone isn't suitable for a particular job/promotion.

"Can we skip the icebreaker and get on with the course so we can finish early and get home?"

I agree with everyone who says they don't want to share personal stuff. I will if I want to but the whole 'bring your authentic self' to work is pissing me off.

On our work intranet this week we've had a long and boring story about someone being gay and how amazing it is that he can be openly out at work and another sharing that he is 4 years sober.

I DON'T CARE! I don't want to know this stuff, I come here to do a job and I'll know stuff about people who are my friend but general colleagues? I don't want to know your sexual orientation or addictions.

Depends what the course is for - a leisure one , maybe. A work finance meeting isn’t the place for that for me, I just wanted the update/training and to bugger off back to work (or home!)

Retired now, but I used to just say "Pass" and refuse to say anything

My favourite stupid fact for these is:

I can recite Pi to 4 digits

In these situations I tell people that I used to be a dancer in the window at <insert dodgy nightclub> in town. Everyone laughs.

But it's true 😂

That doesn't actually address the issue that you're being asked to tell colleagues your perfect day. Whether its made up or not is irrelevant - being forced to share private information at work is the issue

“If you were a car which car would you be?”

My reply was “a Micra - not very exciting but reliable”

@Callipygion I actually think it could be good though because you might meet people who have the same interests as you and become friends with them (or end up marrying them 😂).
On a lot of the sahp vs going to work threads the argument for working is often so people can have "grown up conversations".
I frequently wonder what exactly these conversations are about if everyone thinks their private life is private and must never be spoken of.

Make it up. They don’t need to know your REAL perfect day if you don’t want them to.

I saw this the other day. 😆

I can’t see the point of so-called “icebreakers”. Do they make you feel more relaxed? No. Do they ‘break the ice’? (What ice?) No.
Just get on with the course or whatever, who cares if someone breeds dogs or someone is a wizz at ice skating or can balance a spoon on their nose, I certainly don’t.

Hate them. Rarely have to do them but might think up something elaborate like I was in prison once for embezzling 10 trillion pounds

In our away days - we had many where I worked ie public sector, lol

I loathed the so-called iced breakers!!

What I don't understand.....unless the only thing you do in your private life is eat kittens and practice s+m why is such a big deal to tell people about what in life you enjoy/do?

Of course you're not unreasonable. I quite like them though, especially the silly games. Different personality types obviously like different things- I'm very low-key outgoing and extremely competitive. But then should your comfort come first? They're not necessary after all and if they make you feel worse than they make me feel great they're not helping.

I hate the bog standard ones. My old line manager used to do ‘what’s your favourite biscuit?’ which used to make me cringe.

I do really silly ones that get everyone laughing, which I’ve noticed other managers have started to nick.

And this is why I never use them...or if I'm in a situation where it is insisted upon I go for the blandest, easiest thing..."tell us what your favourite chocolate bar / ice cream flavour / cake is"...that gets everyone talking, its easy to lie / make something up on the spot and rarely any judgement attached and you can easily say "I don't really like sweet stuff I'd prefer xxx"

I just don’t engage….just tell whoever is facilitating that this is not ‘my thing’ …. No one has questioned me further as yet