Mumsnet is full of funsuckers?

It’s really unusual to think this.

😂

I agree to an extent, what strikes me most is the work colleagues bit, having worked for 45 years I have some fantastic close friends who I met through work. I’ve also had some brilliant night outs etc with work colleagues who I no longer see. People can’t be arsed to try sometimes.

We are all different.

I am a football fan. Don't particularly enjoy weddings as such. Socialising with work colleagues- depends who is going, as there are a few who I just don't enjoy the company of and they have a tendency to spoil work events.

I don't celebrate my birthday. I honestly don't care if others do, but I personally don't.

As I've got older I've realised my time is precious and I don't do things I don't enjoy for the most part.

What natty little moniker could we have for people like you, OP and what business is it of yours anyway?

You clearly think that people who don't enjoy those things should just go anyway. Many of us do. We don't want to be there because we have other things that we'd rather be doing or we just don't want to - but we care about those people involved so we do them.

It's a bit dim to lump everybody into one cohort but, there are a lot of posters here who can't seem to do anything else such is their level of critical thinking, or any thinking come to that? Some people just needle others for the sake of it, never thinking that perhaps they are the reason that people don't want to socialise with them.

This goes back to whether you like your friends though. I've never witnessed any of this behaviour among my friends, ie the people who've invited me to their weddings. I've read about it and heard about it of course, but always with people who seemed narcissistic in a basic kind of way already, so not people I was interested in being friends with.

None of these things are fun in the slightest.

The hate the weather every time it goes over 15C or less than 10C ones make me laugh.

Especially since we have had a long miserable spring and winter and it only now looks like we will get some nice (shortened) summer weather.

But two weeks of seasonally warm weather is apparently something to be miserable about or not allowed.

But watching football isn't fun for a lot of people.

Well if they don't like those things they are hardly funsuckers. More funseekers by choosing to do something they enjoy.
Can't think of much less fun than a wedding. I go out of obligation like I would go to work.

I've only ever seen that reported on Mumsnet. Have never experienced anything like that with weddings in real life. Was also reflecting on how many people were wearing white at a recent one without anyone going up to them and accusing them of upstaging the bride or wearing black without anyone telling them it was bad luck 😅

@theowlwhisperer

Its not so much about hating weddings in themselves I just really dislike the way they make people behave and the generally unreasonable, narcissistic and neurotic behaviour they seem to trigger in people.

Each to their own, but I don't know anyone in real life who has so much hatred for holidays, for days out, for seeing friends and family, and people who can't bear the idea of having guests or god forbid spend a night or 2 with friends.

I hate football personally.

I do find it hilarious that so many posters hate wedding and see it as a personal insult to be invited BUT don't see the irony when they are deeply offended about not being invited 😂
In real life, it's just a wedding, people make a day or a holiday out of them.

Exactly this. ^ I don't know why some Mumsnetters have such a bee in their bonnet about some people not wanting to answer the door. I can only surmise that THEY are someone who is one of the dreaded popper-inners that some of us dread coming to the house! And they are butthurt, because so many people have refused to answer the door to them!

As you say, if it's a friend, or someone you know, and you know they're coming then of course people will answer!

Here's a bit from a thread I posted on here the other day from another thread.

If I'm not expecting anybody, then I won't answer the door. I actually work from home, and do not want disturbing, and I'm quite a busy person who doesn't want to be kept at the door by people. And, if someone's at the door, (and I am not expecting anyone!) its very likely going to going to be somebody I don't want to see, or speak to!

99% of the time it will be...

Someone trying to peddle their wares on me - (or their services,) or a religious caller, or somebody doing a survey, or somebody trying to scam me, or a delivery company trying to get me to take in a parcel for a neighbour who hasn't had the foresight and intellect to sort out their delivery properly.

I don't take in people's packages. It's more trouble than its worth. You've got to wait around all day for them to come home, and watch out for them - so you can take it over to them. Or wait for them to come and get it, which is equally as annoying.

I shouldn't have to explain myself, but hey! Clearly some people need people to explain that not everyone thinks like them, and some people have the RIGHT to do things differently, and to think differently.!

I don’t love all of the things you listed (weddings can get in the bin).

But I do agree that there’s a growing general misanthropy among a lot of people about spending time with other people which is usually badged as “being an introvert” but which in practice is highly dysfunctional and a bit worrying.

All the threads along the lines of “it’s to peoply out there” are pretty disturbing. Wanting downtime is one thing: disliking other people as a species is not and needs to be dealt with as opposed to indulged.

@BigDahliaFan

I'm introverted and quite shy but I like all of the above and am delighted if a friend rings to organise something or says yes to coming round.

Well how lovely for you! NEWSFLASH! People are different.

Also, have some sympathy for people who have a job and a busy life, and/or children to look after. Not everyone can just have people ringing with 10 minutes notice, and poppers-in hanging around them. Not everyone WANTS to.

Many people are busy with their hobbies and interests too, (as well as WORK - some people work from home,) and they can't be answering the door to any Tom, Dick, and Harry who fancies popping in for a cuppa! It's 2024, most women WORK, and some work from home, and the women who don't work from home, have been out at work, and are busy and tired when they get in.

And many of those who don't have paid employment - especially mums - are busy with their family, and the vast majority these days don't have any help from anyone. Most not even from their husband! So they often don't want - or need - someone popping in at the drop of a hat, expecting her to drop everything she's doing and entertain them.

People aren't 'funsuckers' because they don't want visitors coming round when it suits them, with 10 minutes notice - or NO notice.

And that goes for the rest of your complaints, so what if some people don't like weddings, and football etc? How is that affecting you?!

Upshot is people are not 'funsuckers' because they do things differently to you, and like different things!

I dont think that is "fun sucking"- it can be an absolute nightmare trying to take 3 very young kids to a wedding thats far away/difficult to get to. Not going is of course a viable option. I've got kids and there have been times when I have had to eschew events because I had noone to babysit. I wanted to go but there are times when you cant due to your responsibilities. It's got nothing to do with not liking "fun" and often its due to feeling guilty on the part of the parent for not going and they are also getting emotional pressure from the B & G.

im introverted and quite shy but I like all of the above and am delighted if a friend rings to organise something or says yes to coming round

You realize that not everyone is like you? Some people like watching football, others don't. Some people like day trips and weddings, others don't. Some people love going out with work and others hate it.

As for the "answering the door" thing. It's been done to death on here and yet still, some people don't seem to grasp that many of us have good reasons for not answering the door. Not every area is a very safe place to live and answering the door at night is not a good idea, especially if you're living alone. Some areas are plagued by cold-callers (mine is for example). Some people, like me, never get visitors coming by unannounced so anyone ringing the bell is someone wanting to sell something or collecting for charity and I'm not interested in either of those things door-to-door. I'm not getting up and down to the door when it's just going to be something I don't want and have to get into a conversation with pushy salespeople because they won't take no for an answer.
If you live somewhere where friends drop in and you aren't plagued by unwanted callers, good for you, but at least have a bit of understanding that other people have different living environments to you.

Doesn't saying "just don't go" when the OP clearly wants to, make you the very person you are complaining about? Everyone is a "funsucker" to a degree, so I'm not really sure what the point of your OP is.

Yeah, I agree with this. It's not funsucking not to enjoy things, but it is definitely funsucking to imply that people who do like those things are stupid or immature. Examples include coming on to posts where posters have decisions to make about weddings or events saying useless things like "Sounds like my worst nightmare" or "Just don't go", or worse, pronouncements from on high like "Birthdays are for children" or "Weekends are family time."

You can't hide behind "It's good that we're all different" if you go around doing the above.

It's not having different preferences that's the issue it's the attitude to different preferences, or sometimes the reason behind them.

Not liking hot sunny weather because you break out in itchy hives is understandable.
Hating it getting above 17⁰C and sunny because other people go outside and use their gardens in normal ways is cummodgeonly.

There's no laws compelling people to be out BBQing or whatever because the evenings are long. Staying at home with a book remains a valid option and that's fine. It's the attitude of wanting to prevent or obstruct others from finding their pleasure that's fun-sucking, or being dismissive.

Football is not my cup of tea, but the tournament doesn't have much bearing on my indifferent life. It's nice if the national team do well. I don't have anything to do with the lager lout small minority of fans and the vast majority of people enjoying the tournament are no issue to me and I won't suck the fun out of it for them.

The fun-sucking aspect isn't about whether you like or dislike certain things. I don't like football or work socialising either (but I do like tennis and clubbing). But MN specifically attracts a lot of people who seem to thrive on loudly sucking the fun out of things or treating those who do enjoy them with contempt. I used to be snide about football fans... when I was 20. Then I grew up, made friends with some and realised that if they get joy out of something, it's immature to look down my nose at it.

MN also seems to have a disproportionate amount of posters who dislike their supposed friends, hence the dislike of weddings, parties and so on. I've only ever been to weddings of people I love, with many guests I also love, so that doesn't resonate with me.

According to OP's definition I am probably a funsucker.

I don't like weddings much although I will go and will be fine once I am there. I'll enjoy chatting to people I haven't seen in a while. The next wedding I'll be going to will be in a year's time. I'm working up to it and it will be fine.

I never really enjoyed going out on social events with work and was delighted when my children were born, giving me the ever useful "no babysitter" excuse not to go.

Football? It's OK. I'll watch some of the major matches with DH at home and eye roll/laugh at him when he shrieks loudly enough to make anyone think the match is happening in our kitchen or living room!!

Day trips - depends where to and who with. I love the odd trip to London to do something like visit theatre or museums with DH and the DDs. I wouldn't just go on one for the sake of going out though. If I don't like what's on offer I prefer to stay at home.

I will answer the door. I don't mind people coming round although not many do as we don't live near family. I wouldn't answer it late at night though unless I knew who it was likely to be and had been notified. I think that's pretty normal.

Someone mentioned cruises. My feelings are mixed there. I wouldn't want to have to dress up for dinner each night and I am not big on some of the other entertainment on offer. If I could dress casually (jeans, shorts and t-shirt) and be just left to my own devices then I would probably be fine. Bad weather at sea would also scare me and I would feel trapped in it if it struck.

I don't impose my own likes and dislikes on others. I'm doing nobody any harm and just want to be left alone to read my book or whatever else I might be doing.

We are all different and that is part of what makes life interesting.

Everyone likes different things.

I do think there's an element of selfishness sometimes though. Nobody ever seems to want to go out of their way or do anything for others. There was a birthday thread where the mum was disappointed that her teen hadn't got her a birthday card and it was full of comments like "your birthday isn't important". Miserable fuckers.

I do think that if you never want to make any effort for the people in your life them don't complain if they decide not to bother with you any more. I do actually think that part of preserving relationships is maybe doing things that you don't particularly enjoy sometimes. If you're perfectly happy being on your own with no friends though fair enough, but I wouldn't want to live like that.