Boyfriend wants me to put his car under my car insurance

It's actually quite funny to ask someone whose child goes to state school if they'll give you the money to send your own child to private school.

How long have you been together? He would have driven me mad a long time ago.

Make sure you block him on all platforms OP, he knows how to push your buttons into taking him back - the biggest one will be him threatening suicide. Save yourself the aggro and block now.

For cycle of abuse to continue, acts of kindness are needed
Don't be taken in by someone trying to financially abuse you because he did some kind things for you

Kind people don't speed around getting 12 points on licence and try to take money off other people by threatening suicide

Legally you have no insurable interest in his vehicle and therefore cannot insure it. If he is the legal owner of the car, he needs to arrange the appropriate insurance coverage.

Glad you've left him op... as if he was saving 2k a month too! What a liberty!

Sorry for the wrong tense! I wrote that post yesterday but failed to hit send on time! Good for you! Don’t feel ashamed of anything you have done. I certainly don’t think you were other than concerned sbout someone you were fond of. It was a little like being nibbled to death by ducks. Quite a sliw snd confusing experience.

It’s always irksome when a high-earning but spendthrift person expects to be bailed out by a significantly lower earner, who only has savings due to careful budgeting and economising and no one to help them out financially.

1. You don't know how he incurred the debt in the first place. Alarms should be ringing if he hasn't disclosed that.
2. He must be a really reckless driver to have incurred 12 points.
3. He has too many expenses - he'll never be a good risk.
4. He sees you as a way out of his money problems, so instead of solving things himself, he intends to leech off you.

So he's paying Exs rent. He's paying for private school. He's saving 2K a month...but he wants YOU to pay his debts?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

And you are still with him. So actually that laughter is his. At you.

It sounds like you have a bit if a hard time with the idea of the “good boyfriend “ who helped out in an emergency and the other boyfriend who is spendthrift, disorganized, and manipulative/demanding.

We are taught to see people as all good or all bad. Hero or villain. That’s not really the way people are. Lots of people don’t have a strong ethical core but are more situational. They will throw down a huge tip to a waiter when everyone is watching and steal a tip when no one can see. They will order rounds for everyone one night and borrow the money from you to get home.

Your now hopefully ex has a problem regulating his behavior: he is a bad driver, he is bad with money, he overpromises to his ex wife and children, he is a chiseler and a cheap fraud (the attitude towards loans and car insurance), he doesn’t mind exploiting a single mother (you),. We say here : his mouth writes checks his body can’t cash.”

So male suicide is down to the fact that women won't just hand over unlimited cash.

Wow.

Sometimes I think this is sadly the case. Hopefully she wakes up. Its classic abuse tactics.

He may even be lying to her to manipulate go give money.

Who in right mind pays for private school in his position. And exes rent?

To get 12 points means he must drive like an idiot 100% of the time.

He is taking op for a mug, n I think he might even be lying about his money situation go make her feel guilty.

Jesus, if he can afford school fees and to pay his exs rent..mm he can afford to be a big boy and look after himself.

What the hell... he is taking you for a right mug. How cheeky,

Oh hi op... I just pay my exs rent and extortionate school fees, but please don't leave me and also lend me money and pay for car insurance where I racked up 12 points because i am responsible adult, potentially jeopardising your insurance.

Oh what... you said no? You are so ooo unreasonable... please don't leave me. I may just have to top myself because you are so horrible and mean and unreasonable! Where I didn't bring any of this on myself. Life's so unfair!

Thus is how it sounds its gone down. You deserve better op. Please respect yourself and child.

Please say "no, sorry".

You shouldn’t have to, but if you were feeling charitable you could him the ring back so he could sell it to pay some debts.

i didn’t understand the thing about having to pay £2k a month. Is that a savings scheme

On threads like this I get the impression the OP likes the drama and attention. The faux naivety and tweeness in her replies while ignoring the elephant in the room that her relationship is dysfunctional and possibly abusive. Most people would have run for the hills already.

Op, do you realise you are as bad as each other? Malicious intent or not both families are paying for the damage. He could provide better for his children by managing his money like a grown up. You should be supporting your child by not using your money in cocklodgers.

He is not putting his children first and neither are you. You don’t need to work in your blooming boundaries or phasing such shit show of relationship out. You just need to put your child first and stop seeing this wanker. End of.

have you posted about this before? I’m sure I’ve read a post pretty much exactly the same where the bf asked the gf to subsidise the private school fees as he was struggling.

Just leave, OP. I really can’t understand why you haven’t.

His fake suicide bullshit is straight out of the abuser’s handbook.

"Show me your friends and I'll show you your future".

I've fallen into the 'carer' 'I can help them' role before in romantic relationships. It never turned out well for me. It's not only the financial implications of being formally responsible and entangled on things like credit reports - but it's the waste of time on the wrong person and the lost opportunity for someone who actually is responsible and able to meet you where you are in life (i.e. someone who does not treat you like leverage for their own gain and has the headspace to talk interesting life stuff that isn't about digging them out of a hole)

You're in control.

Even better, ring 999 for him. Don't even ask him. Let someone who is qualified deal with his fake suicide threats.

No.

Irrespective of the fact that you don't own the vehicle to start with, this guy has money. He's just choosing to cover other things. Ignore the marriage plans/sob story pushers, I wouldn't want poor credit, poor money mgmt, poor driving connected to me at all. And neither should you.

I say this gently as well: 12 points is a ban unless there are exceptional hardship grounds. Losing your job generally would not meet this criteria. Ask him what he said in court and see if that helps you sober up from this love binge.