Boyfriend wants me to put his car under my car insurance

If he has had insurance cancelled and 12 points, it will be very high. Just ditch him. He’s telling lies I think about his situation,

For your own financial future say no to the car insurance, no to him moving in (which will be next) and no to marriage (which means your own and your own kids financial security will be trashed).

You’re right, he needs to go to citizens advice and step change to truly sort his mess out, not relying on you to dig him out of financial chaos. It’s very strange he’s not taken these steps, it says a lot about him!!

so stick with dating (if you must) but don’t take it any further. The max I would do is lend him £100 as long as he pays it back.

1. The issue is that when we met he told me about his bad credit.
2. I wasn't really sure why but he had some debt, so hasn't been able to get a mortgage
3. but he is self employed (contractor) earns comfortably so he's been trying to pay it off.
4. The issue now is recently he's found it hard to pay his bills. He works hard
5. but the contacts have not been as consistent and many don't pay as well as before.
6. He's just told me he can't pay his car insurance which was really high and
7. he can't pay his rent and
8. he pays the rent of his ex wife ) (in full) who the children live with and he
9. has a child in a fee private school school fees is around 7k.
10. The insurance company have cancelled his insurance for not paying and he really needs his car to drive to work which can be very far away sometimes.
11. He has about 12 points on his licence (speeding) and is at risk of losing his licence which he's going to court for to appeal.

I've numbered the reasons in your original email to show why you shouldn't even think about lending him any more.
He is a financial disaster which will implode when he loses his licence.

I'm sorry but with "doesn't cheat" you've set the bar quite low. That should just be a given. He shouldn't be generous with his money if he's so skint that he has to lend money off you. That's being irresponsible. I say this kindly, but your a Mum not a teenager x

Because if you put him in your policy as an additional named diver all his previous “form” will be included on your policy and your premium will increase accordingly.

As his poor driving history means he can’t afford insurance why would paying his share of your premium be any different? He’s just hoping you will pay.

I think you can expect a lot of that if you continue a relationship with him.

Even putting the car in your name, he still has to have insurance, even if added to your policy I cannot see any insurer wanting to insure him with 12 points on his license.

Of course he is... he sees you as easy to manipulate to get money and insurance from.

Great dads don't use people they are dating to prop up insurance because they can't be bothered to slow down.

Great partners don't ask this of their partner. They don't use their partner in this way.

Love bombing, your too blind to see it

I don't think you're going to listen to and end up in a mess after you add him.

You seem to be too deep already from way you post about him.

redeeming qualities? He's a very devoted father. Very affectionate and loving 🙈 helps out around the house when he comes over. Great sense of humour, doesn't cheat. He's generous as well (I know what you're thinking)

1. Devoted Father: No he is not. A Devoted father wouldn't be in a financial mess, living beyond his means and put his child/ren in a situation where he cannot cover basic bills (you admit you have loaned him money.
2. Affectionate and loving - eh, a given in ANY relationship.
3. Helps around the house when he comes over - he is getting (assume) free meal, a comfortable place to stay and sex
4. Doesn't Cheat again, a given in a relationship.

OP, you need therapy to understand why you think you are so unworthy of love that you could accept a piece of garbage into your and your child's life.

How old are you?
How long are you with this leech?

If he's asking you to take out a policy for his car which has you as the main driver although he is the one who will be using it, that is called fronting and it's a form of fraud and illegal. (I used to sell car insurance). Please don't do that.

And everything everyone else has said, sorry but he sounds like a walking red flag.

Enabling us doing something for another person that they could do for themselves.

Fuck no.

He sounds like a nightmare waiting to happen.

If he insures his car with you, that means you're the main driver and he is an additional driver. You have to decide if you want to use your no claims bonus on this car or your other car. If he has an accident then you lose them all if it's not protected. The car insurance is not what needs dealing with here. He needs to go back to court to say he cannot afford private school anymore and stop paying it. They will look at his income and decide. Has it even been court approved? Or did he just agree it with is ex? If so he needs to talk to her. I'd take a take a step back from this relationship, he's over relying on you for money and that's not good.

Say no to the insurance as it’s illegal and fraudulent and the policy would be void in the event of a claim, so don’t do it. If he is the main driver and owner of the vehicle this must be declared plus any points on licence. He doesn’t sound like much of a catch .

Don’t marry him or let him move in with you.

He’s got 12 points he sounds like a boy racer. The next speeding letter he gets he will ask you to take the blame as it’s usually just a driving course, then it’ll be it’s only 3 points, take them for me babe.
Engage your brain, say no and I’d question your relationship with him.

12 points I thought that was an automatic ban?
But no you don't want to be tied in any way to this guy. You put his car on your insurance what happens if he stops paying you for it? You'd be liable for his debt. It might not be as easy as cancelling the policy.

Here is a reason why he's split from his wife. Financially irresponsible, drives far too fast, what are his redeeming qualities?

Enjoy a casual relationship, don't pay for things for him and definitely don't let him move in with you.

Agree with others too. How he responds to no will be telling.

all you have to say is that unfortunately with his driving history you just can't afford to be linked to him in this way.

If he says anything other than ok, and drops it. You have a massive problem.

likely he will go full charm mode, and drop in a few things about losing his job, having to drive uninsured, his kids etc for guilt.
And if that fails, he will get sulky/annoyed and start ignoring you, and saying things like you don't trust him, he only asked for help during this time and you didn't etc.

@CrossingBoundaries007, if he is going to court for the totting up, he might very well lose his driving licence. How then will he get to work? As others have said, first it's the car insurance, then it will be living with you, and so on, especially if he does lose his licence.

I'd say leave now, before the situation gets worse. After all, what will you say to him if he loses his licence and he asks you to sub him here and there while he looks for a new job? What if he is short next term on the child's school fees and asks you to loan him the money?

I feel bad for him but what would you wise ladies do in this situation. A I being unreasonable to say no. I'm a single mum btw
His financial issues are his, not yours.
Run a mile. The fact that you even have to ask is alarming. He is a walking red flag. Seriously OP you have yourself and a child to think of. This leech will bleed you dry financially and emotionally.
Donot a. Give him money b. Insure a car for him c. Allow him to move in. But above all, do NOT get pregnant.

If he’s asking you for financial favours this early in the relationship, what’s it going to be like down the line?

He is a financial mess, and will drag you down with him.

First, what he is asking is illegal.

Secondly, it will also make your own insurance more expensive.

Thirdly, even if you break up as you will forever be linked in the insurance database (which ALL insurance companies share, whether for car, travel or home insurance) with an irresponsible driver with 12 points on his licence.

Finally, if he has an accident or any more points added whilst he’s in your policy - well you’d be well and truly f*ed then. You will struggle to get reasonably priced insurance in future and will be saddled with the financial implications of this for years to come. Think of your daughter!!!

He has multiple other ways to reduce his outgoings without involving you. Starting with not paying 100% of his ex’s rent. Why can’t she contribute??

Nope, it's fraud.

I bet you any money he gets nasty when you say no over the car.