Boyfriend wants me to put his car under my car insurance

Basically, he sounds like he has been dishonest with you from the start, and now wants you to commit fraud.

It would be interesting to hear his ex's side of the story. I'll bet she divorced him because he is so irresponsible.

I also bet that he has told you that she is psychotic.

Well he needs to keep his nose out of your financial business.
He's prioritising his children you should prioritise yours

Never in a month of Sundays, he is getting deeper and deeper and would have consequences on your insurance history if he had an accident.

Could he pay the premium even if in your name? My guess it is a roundabout way of borrowing off you, again another risk to your credit rating..

The way you support the kids is by paying maintenance and the ex claiming benefits. What about the school he can't afford, who chose that?

No you shouldn't. He has heavy financial commitments which means he can't pay his other bills. That is absolutely not your problem. It isn't as if he has no money. He has got money which is all spoken for.

This exactly. What happened with the divorce? Ask him why he is divorced but pays his ex wife's full rent. This is really unusual, especially when she will qualify for state help with rent. No divorce court would have ordered him to do that so he's obviously choosing to even though she can get her rent paid by UC, although I'm not sure if she can claim benefits while her child is in private education? Is he still going to pay her full rent when she moves her new boyfriend in? What about the other 2 children? Is he going to put them in private education too or will they just slum it in state school? There's just too many questions with this man I don't think you'll get straight answers to.

He's already got 12 penalty points for speeding. Do you think that he will suddenly slow down just because his car would be under your insurance? What if he had an accident, from speeding or something else while under your insurance - your expenses would increase significantly too.

He got the 12 points on his license, he can slow down and get them off his license by behaving better on the roads.

Don't insure him. There is a reason why the people who this is their business are backing away from him for this purpose. They can see he's a huge liability so are making insurance exorbitant as a result.

His financial decisions don't make any sense. That's why people are telling you to run!

"He has about 12 points on his licence (speeding) and is at risk of losing his licence which he's going to court for to appeal. "

So, it's not just that he can't afford his insurance - he's also irresponsible.

To be honest, given the list of misdemeanours you've given, he sounds like trouble. You aren't going to be in for a good time with him, ultimately.

Don't get involved with his finances (and, preferably don't continue with the relationship).

Because he is playing you for a fool.

12 points means he has already lost his licence, that is why he can't get insurance. He is trying to involve you in fraud. He also wants to fill up your licence.

If he has a mortgage then he will not be paying rent as well. I doubt he is paying his ex wife's rent.

RUN.

Be strong OP. Don’t let him emotionally manipulate you to doing something that would negatively affect you and your child.

This with bells on.

If they have a divorce settlement, the court will have left each of them with enough to live on. The reason he is skint is because HE is rubbish with money.

And anyway using your insurance to cover someone else, when they are primary driver is Insurance Fraud. Don't be drawn in.

You may like him but that will come at a high price Op. He can't drive with no insurance, he'll make less money, can't pay the rent, moves in with you, can't pay his way. In a year you'll be back here saying his DC spend every other weekend with you, you're childcare, driver, paying for the kids days out and the bills
Say No Op, spare yourself all that aggro and money

Sounds like some trauma bonding you have.
Rather than loan him any more money, use it for therapy.

I don’t think divorced with 3 kids is automatically a ‘hell no’. I’m dating someone in that position. (Not rushing in to progressing beyond dating any time soon).

This man will drag you down. You can’t really commend someone for being generous if they are in debt! Why on earth did he apply for private school for his DC when he clearly can’t afford it?! Why is he paying full rent for his ex when he can’t afford it? Sounds like in that respect he is being ridiculous.
I agree adding him to your insurance is not only fraudulent but a recipe for disaster for you. If you agree to this, it’s a slippery slope.
One of the biggest red flags is that you’ve broken up with him multiple times and yet he comes back and you take him back. Why is that? Does he come round to your house? Or call/text? It sounds like he had some pull over you. Logically you know he’s a walking red flag. I’d suggest doing the Freedom Programme online (it’s only about £15). Read up on love bombing and trauma bonding. Tell yourself being single outweighs a relationship with someone who drags you down! Dump him then block him everywhere and if he comes round, get a Ring doorbell so you can avoid answering the door to him. Money better spent than paying for his insurance!

He has somewhere along the line agreed to fund private education . He isn’t passive in this

Your dc isn’t in private education . Your priority isn’t in education . He can’t manage monthly payments on car insurance with 12 points . So now has car insurance in his name is going to be an absolute fortune if her even isn’t banned .

He can’t afford his basic bills - he can’t afford to date . He can’t afford a drink in the pub .

You haven’t budgeted badly . The fact he borrowed and paid it back has no bearing in that that is how it starts .. it gets to the well sorry can’t pay you back this time .

You absolutely deserve more . You might not have met anyone else yet but maybe you need to be single a while so you realise you are doing this alone - you don’t need someone else but someone who adds to your life is great.

Because he makes (bad) financial decisions without your input/ on his own but then expects you to bail him.
this is just the beginning of his asks
if you put the car on your name and he continues to drive recklessly it will be reflected on your premiums - why would you do that?
I see zero reasons for you to get involved in helping him. In fact, he’s a walking red flag, so RUN

Why would you choose to be with someone who from the offset declares he's bad with money. There's better people out there.

Run . Immediately . This will get worse and he will prioritise ex and kids every time .

Agreed with all of this. Don't financially tie yourself to this man and definitely don't mess about with your insurance.

Are you just desperate to have a man in your life?

He sounds awful, self employed yet admits he's 'bad with money' .. that just sounds like he's trying to downplay the seriousness of it 'silly me, I've never been good with money' ... yet he can put his DC in private school ?

I can't see any 'good' points from your list ... and surely if you've been on Mumsnet long enough you know that single mothers are very attractive to divorced dads looking for a home, substitute mother for their DC and sex on tap ... and this one wants you to pay his car insurance as well!

She may also find herself blacklisted from getting insurance herself as it's fraudulent.

Ive said you are being unreasonable because i believe you are being unreasonable to date him.

he makes bad decision after bad decision. All the consequences he is facing are a result of an entitled attitude.

i missed how long you have been dating this man?