Boyfriend wants me to put his car under my car insurance

The more information you share the worse he sounds.
He really could drag you down with him if you do not become more wary.
I would walk away whilst I still could, if I were you.

Jesus Christ! He's asking you to take out loans for him too? Why are you even with this man??

Don't do it.
Don't get pregnant.
Don't move him in.
Don't marry him.

LOL

No

Forget the debts, points on licence, cancelled car tax, three kids ex wife baggage this person drags behind him to your door. The most important sentence in your post is the last one.

You are a single parent.

So sit yourself down for a minute and think about who is the most important person in your life, who do you need to be protecting, who should come first in every decision you make.

There, that wasn’t hard was it?

I still don't understand what his plan is with the education. Who's choice was that? What about the other 2 children? If he can't afford his own rent and insurance how will he pay private fees for his other 2 children? Clearly his spending is not sustainable. I've honestly never heard of anyone so financially enmeshed with an ex. Even a court wouldn't expect this much financial involvement.He can't be paying maintenance if he's paying all this other non essential stuff. It's bizarre how he continues making further financial commitments to his ex without OPs knowledge, then expects her to subsidise him because he can't afford his ex wifes lavish lifestyle.

Have you ever said no to his requests op?

Also did you say to him “ah well you will have to stop with the private school”? Because that is absolutely what he needs to do if he can’t pay his car insurance ffs. The fucking cheek of him, forking out for a fancy school he can’t afford and then asking you to sub his insurance for him. No kid needs to be in private school. So what if his DS is bright? So are loads of other kids in the state sector. Doesn’t mean they are super special and can’t attend a normal school (with the thick plebs).

And he wants you to be generous towards him with your money now?
Uggh. He sounds like he’s worming his way into using you as a money bank.
Run.

Some really wise posts given to you here Op, from years of experience.
He may seem a nice guy but he's not if he's asked you to lend him money and to commit fraud for him!
Are you a rescuer type?
Do you feel good helping others but by doing so put yourself at a disadvantage?
You're posting for advice, please listen to your instinct and don't be a mother to this man, any respect you have for him will wear away.

How long have you been together?
How long will he be paying his ex’s rent for?
Anyone with 12 points about to be banned for totting up is really stupid and reckless. Does he realise that chances are he will be banned? They might take pity on him but it has to be exceptional.
Anyone who puts their child in private school when they cannot comfortably afford it is also stupid and reckless. He will need to put his son back in state school - maybe spend some of the savings on a tutor. Also what sort of parent sends only one child out of three private?
Anyone who asks their partner to take over the insurance on their car is a bit of a user.
He needs to come to an arrangement with the ex about the rent because he can’t be paying for her property and one of his own long term.

He needs a wake up call. It will probably come with the impending driving ban.

His life is a mess and he wants to drag you into it so your life is one as well.

Ok divorce is hard and business can be hard. But why the fuck has he run up so many points on his licence? We all might nod over the speed limit now and then, but 12 points is way beyond that.

He's a bad driver (who is not permitted to drive) and wants you to insure him. Why would you do that?

So what is he doing to actually take responsibility for his own financial problems? Because it sounds like he;'s expecting you to pick up the pieces. If he cannot afford to put a child through private school, that has to go. If he cannot afford to pay full rent for his house AND the house where his ex and children live, that has to be reduced somehow. Either way, if you allow him to bury his head in the sand by bailing him out, you're not helping him in any way. Plus you're only going to get more and more requests like it as time goes on, because this situation doesn't look like it's going to get any better.

Please just end this.

Put your own child first-he is! He makes poor financial decisions without discussing them or their impact with you. He doesn’t respect your thoughts.

get some counselling and sort your self esteem out-work out why you think that this guy is a prince, when he is a pauper. Of course he’s nice to you-he wants you to subsidise his lifestyle choices. Get out before he really fucks you, your finances and your child over.

I'd also be suspicious about whether he is really paying his ex's housing costs. Could well be a story to excuse why he is short of cash.

Prioritise your own child! Why should you fund his kid's private education? Such a bizarre concept.

I think you have already got the message but I will add my vote just in case... Do not do this. Do not lend him any more money. Do not let him move in.

He is living a life he can't afford. He is reckless with his driving. That means he shows no consideration for other road users.

He shows no consideration for you either by putting you in a position where you feel that you can't say no to him.

What everyone else said i.e. no

i’d help someone out (in a legal fashion that would not affect me otherwise) if they had genuinely had rotten luck and needed a few £ to get back on the feet
but this guy’s troubles are 100% of his own making
dont help him out and even more so don’t marry him!

Despite what he tells you he does for his kids.

You only hear one side of the story...

He is so financially enmeshed with his ex that he shouldn't be getting involved with other women full stop. You won't see it now but the reason people are telling you to run is because they can all see where this is going. He will either leave you or you will finish with him but either way you will be saddled with a financial mess.

Honestly, this a proper deal breaker and a perfect example of why he is struggling: He is useless at making financial decisions and he wants you to help, which is what couples do, but actually what he is asking you to support him, his ex wife and his DC to keep living above their means so he can continue to be as irresponsible as he is, which is fine if you are generous and do want to ruin your future credit checks and your finances by linking your finances to him by sharing a financial product.

One thing to note is that he is not struggling to pay just for the insurance, he is just disclosing this issue to you because he needs to get it sorted ASAP, but there would be hundreds of other issues you are not aware of. Believe me, if he cannot pay a car insurance he is already scrapping the barrel, he is not the wealthy man you think, he is just a man in a huge amount of debt spending more pretending not to be.

Personally, I would run a mile NOW as you will find it more difficult and costly to leave in the long run. If he cannot see how he is spending his money, he wouldn’t notice either how much you will be subsidising him: it may not be much but if he is spending a lot of time in your house, dropping by for dinner AND he is not contributing to your increased household expenses AND you often go “halves” OR offer to pay for some stuff as it is not a big deal… you are already spending hundreds of pounds a month on him.

Your man may be all the nice things you say he is, he might have a heart of gold that doesn’t allow him to stop spending money on things he can’t afford, but whatever the reasons, this is not going to change and will potentially reduce any opportunities you and any future children will have as you will spend most of your life plugging holes in his finances and getting not much out of it.

He has his eyes on your financial security, he will up the game until you are subsidising him, his ex and child so he can continue to pay their rent and the school fees.
You are a mother, concentrate on your child and their welfare. No to the car insurance and no more loans. You read it on here all the time from women who are with men like this, they always pay the money back at first. Then they stop and ask for more and more.

As regards to lending money to risky people :- In my experience they will ask to borrow small sums and always pay you back.
Once they have your confidence they ask for a much larger loan. They won’t be intending to pay this back.
Be very careful.