To have said getting a 19 year old a brand new expensive car is ludicrous

You just sound very jealous. If he can afford it then it's entirely none of your business what type of car he gets. I bet if he offered you the same car, you would take it immediately.

It's perfectly normal for a teen who gets a driving licence to get a car afterwards. What type is up to the financial situation of whoever is paying for it. There is no life lesson in not having an expensive car at age 19 or whatever. If she's born into wealth then her entire life will be on that level anyway.

Lots of friends who went to private school got BMWs and Mercedes at 19-20 from their parents. It's not ludicrous within certain circles.

It’s simply none of your business. It’s his money (regardless of how he has come by it) and his daughter. I don’t understand why you think you have any say in it or how it affects you in any way.

And you are judging his parenting. By referring to his daughter as spoilt you are making a judgement that he has spoiled her.

No, it was the fact that he "did not slow down or steer his car as it approached a bend"

Well he sounds loaded, and his daughter is very lucky. If he only has the one daughter, everything is going to her anyways, so why not indulge her.

Buying uni accom is not the worst investment - he can rent it out or sell it all day long.

50k is nothing if he is a multimillionaire.

She is a spoilt rich girl on daddy’s money, which can certainly grate, but isn’t unreasonable for him.

He doesn’t really sound like a partner to you - more like a man you are dating. Maybe just enjoy his company and don’t comment or judge his parenting - it has nothing to do with you. If you don’t live together and he doesn’t marry you, his finances have nothing to do with you. Unless he feels like buying you a new car too!?

The managing directors I worked with did not drive cars with moss growing out the roof. They all had sports cars. Their wives drove range rovers or similar.

And that's understandable too. But it's entirely real, one MD made multi-million pound bonuses, had a big house in Notting Hill which he rented out to a Hollywood A list actress and drove an ancient Peugeot 205. The moss car man was similarly wealthy.

My last car was a RR Sport so no judgement from me (although I felt judged which is probably well deserved). But my point still stands that you wouldn't stand out or be judged in more elite circles if you weren't driving an £60k car, particularly if you're a student. Perhaps we can move onto personalised plates next?

It completely depends on the 19 year old.

Why is it any of your concern?

You’re jealous. I get it. I have family who are incredibly wealthy while I was previously renting a room in someone’s house because I couldn’t afford an entire lease by myself.

It seems so unfair when relatives are going to private schools, driving luxury cars, going on overseas holidays, spending their weekends at their family’s beach house and then buying their first home with their trust funds.

It’s tough while I’m going to work every day and having nothing to show for it and can’t afford the dentist and medical treatment for a chronic condition then seeing them in Italy or the Hamptons.

Some people have loads of money! My sister lucked out at uni. One of her friends had rich parents and bought him a house to live in, which my sister shared. His mum also hired my sister to do cleaning jobs and ironing around her house as she felt sorry for her (we had no help from our parents to fund uni). They're still really good friends now, and his mum came to my sisters wedding. I really can't resent rich people having money if they're nice. It's good to mix with all sorts without being envious - then you get to reap some of the benefits yourself if you don't have a chip on your shoulder.

Not sure why you are with him if you feel like this. What car he buys his kid is none of your business. He can afford a high end car, they're safe, it's really how she drives it that matters.

I understand that this might seem crazy to you. And you may want to have a talk about personal approaches to money, inherited wealth and wealth distribution / inequality with your DP. At least if you’re planning on being in a long term committed relationship.

But his parenting shouldn’t be why you’d start that conversation.

She needs a car and he’s willing to buy her a new one. Seems perfect and quite sensible tbh.

Accidents? New cars have more advanced safety features.
Speeding? That’s possible with any car.
I suppose theft might be a concern. But that wouldn’t be an issue due to insurance and their personal finances.

A car that’s genuinely unsuitable for its intended purpose obviously would be a waste of money. But I would trust my DP and his DD to figure that out!

If I was regularly driving all over the UK I'd want a nice big comfortable car as well.

I do appreciate your point about spoiling her, but it could be seen as rewarding her for offering to drive her teammates all over the place.

Also the 3 series, C class, A5 etc will be available with the same/similar engine that's probably in her 1 series anyway, so they'd technically be slower as they're dragging a bigger car along

If he made his part of the money in properties then he’s probably nowhere near as stupid as you think with this one.

Lots of wealthy people buy places for their children to live at uni and then make a bit of profit when selling it on that negates any costs. Makes more sense for those that can afford it than spending money on rent.

In St Andrews he’ll likely have no troubles selling it on, or renting it out, in future.

Oh OP, wait till she gets married. In fact, I'd suspect 50k to be thrown just at the engagement party. Wedding will be 250k plus.
You either have to accept it or you split from him. It's truly not your business what he spends on his child if you're not married and pooling finances. Some people just have finances easier than others. It doesn't mean she will never know heartache or trauma. Money is just one part of life. She may never know what it's like to have none. Is that a bad thing?

guess I didn't realise the extent of his wealth and lately it has been coming up a lot. Fully renovating a uni flat for example to a relatively high spec - just why? Oh 50k on a car and 7k insurance no problem! It is crazy to me and I suppose I'm venting.

It's all relative though. SIL bought a new car (just a bog standard, middle of the range, 2 year old car) a couple of years ago. exBIL went into a complete meltdown. Apparently she was "showing off" and "just trying to keep up with the neighbours" and she didn't "need" this car etc etc etc. Similar situation when she moved house and the new place is really quite nice. And I just keep thinking, "so what's acceptable? if she drives a car that's 5 years old? Or lives in a home that's a bit dark and manky?"

You don't like that he spends money like this. You think it's unnecessary. You come across as very judgemental. Sorry, but I agree with other posters, this probalby isn't a good long term relationship for you.

His money, his choice. You can cause an accident in any old shit car. At least a new one will have good safety features.

Does he know you dislike him so much?

I do believe in the value of saving for things.

However in buying a car for my DC I want a safe one that won't constantly break downn and/or require lots of maintenance. So new is fine.

As for speeding etc? Up to the driver

You ask why, but why not? He can easily afford, so why wouldn’t he do it if that’s what he wants to do? Does he win a prize by not doing it? A proverbial pat on the back or something?

Yes, he can spend that no problem. It may be alien to you, but that’s his normal. Your normal reflects your reality, but it isn’t inherently superior to his.

You are trying to validate your hang ups as a moral failing on his part. They’re not. You are the one with the problem here, not him.

Because he wants to? Because he can? And there's nothing wrong with that

Why not though ? If I had lots of money I probably would have renovated flats for my children when they were at university as it was they went local(ish) and lived at home.

A 1.8 litre 1 series is in now way shape or form a “sports car”. It’s neither quick nor especially powerful, not to mention that the article states the driver was travelling within the 60mph speed limit. An inexperienced driver had a crash, it happens. If he’d been driving an M140i and lost control at 120mph you’d have a point.

This is not really about the car, your further posts show your attitudes to wealth, you clearly resent his family wealth and use of it and because of this you are not compatible.

You have no right to comment on how he spends money earned by his family / himself.

You know there are different engine options in a 3 series, right? An M3 is quick, a 318i not so much.

What do you want from this thread?

You are using quite emotional words and lots of exclamation marks, so it is either a wind up or something you deeply care about.

Yes, he lives very affluent lifestyle. Do you expect him to change?
Do you want to just vent to process the shock that he is so far away from normal?
Does this relevelation change whether you consider him to be a good person?