To have said getting a 19 year old a brand new expensive car is ludicrous

So what? It’s his money to spend as he likes. It being alien to you doesn’t mean he’s wrong and you’re right.

Get over yourself.

Maybe this man just isn't for you, as you sound irrationally cross about the level of wealth he has, and how he spends it, when it does not actually impact your life at all.

Why did you even bother going with how you feel about it? Seems an odd choice

@5foot5 - I do long drive small the time in my electric. They do 500-650km now for decent ones. No range problems at all

Not really, cars are getting generally quicker and even base models aren’t glacially slow any more. Look at a base Puma, that’s still under 10 seconds to 62mph, back in the day the base equivalent would be more like 13 seconds. A base 3 series isn’t quick by modern standards.

For reference, when I was 19 back in 90s I had a car doing sub 7 seconds to 62mph and 150mph flat out, nowadays as a 19 year old I’d probably be in a tuned Golf R with 400bhp and a sub 4 second 0-62mph.

She isn’t looking at SUVs or Estates is she? She is looking at Saloons - they will be big enough I’d imagine - maybe she should up to a 5 series or E class if space in the others doesn’t work!

Perhaps people are out of touch with modern cars...mainly because of my husband I also prefer cars that are reassuring to drive. For context a basic (sport) BMW 320 estate, which is petrol powered, decent amount of space, loads of safety kit and is economical has 180bhp and gets to 60 mph in just under 8 seconds. The slowest automatic VW Golf (all BMWs are auto now) has 150 BHP and gets to 60mph in a little over 8 seconds.

Neither is quick, but both are brisk enough. If the OPs daughter wanted a Golf no one would be saying 'too much power', 'too quick' etc etc. The green eyes of jealousy are strong in the OPs post. A BMW 3 series is a bit bigger than a Golf, a bit safer than a Golf I expect, a bit more comfortable and a bit more 'sporty' in its image. One costs around £40k, the other around £30k. And that's what's really bothering people.

Both would be comprehensively out accelerated (into danger if this thread is to be believed) by pretty much every electric car on the road. A Tesla Model 3 also costs around £40k, and that'd get to 60 in about 5 seconds! But, would probably be seen as a sensible choice on cost an environmental grounds

Both would be practical, so why shouldn’t she get the one she actually likes the look of? I go for SUVs over estate cars too. Is there an aesthetic component to that choice? Sure, and what’s the problem? I don’t profess to be an adherent of utilitarianism, and I doubt she does either. Most people aren’t.

You say she needs the space for sports kit, but if this was the case she’d be looking at estates not SUVs. So it doesn’t look like she’s wanting the car for the practical reasons she’s suggesting. It is image.

I guess it’s only relevant if they will actually have to work for something - gets them used to it early.

If they will never have to work for it as it’s all going to be handed to them, why teach that lesson?

Still very quick for a young 19 year old who potentially has been driving less than 2 years. There are reasons to why road safety groups are lobbying for young drivers to have a max engine size. A 3 series is always going to be much quicker than a base line Fiesta or Corsa.

What happened to teaching kids to work for their things ? Mine have to.

Don't get me started on this, he has also bought and renovated a 4 bed flat, for his DD and friends to live in for the coming 3 years! Has a parking space though so that is helpful!

And this is why locals are being priced out of the market (well that and golfers) 🙄

OK!! I take your point! I've never driven an expensive powerful car! I'll keep my beak out!!

@Liolio I can’t understand why you are remotely bothered by this? A new car is generally safer than an old one, anyway. I had a new car at 17, as did the majority of my friends.

You need to take a step back. It is really nothing to do with you. Stop counting their pennies!

What nonsense. You can insure just about anything for a price. There are loads of wealthy 20 year olds driving cars with serious performance.

As for my friends, we’re talking things like a nearly new Porsche GT4 and 911 GTS insured in their own names for reasonably sensible amounts.

Literally there are type classes that don't permit drivers under 25/21 and that includes named drivers. They don't even have to be Ferraris. Audis, Mazdas, Mercs all have performance or sports types that insurance companies will not insure for young drivers. Even some vehicles you wouldn't expect don't allow NDs under 21. Some BMWs exclude drivers under 30!

Your friends either had low performance/classic models or were being fronted by their parents (commiting fraud).

Honestly, we just bought DS a less than one year old Audi and the insurance was as much as the 15 year old banger we were also considering. We've had lots of people tell us that we shouldn't have bought it but it was totally our decision and no one else's business. It has a fantastic service plan in place, break down assist if he ever gets into trouble and he is so appreciative. We don't regret buying it one bit. I think you should let your DP buy whatever car he thinks OP.

But her asking for a £60k car because it reflects her normal isn’t any different to someone else asking for £1k because it reflects theirs. She asked for a certain car and her father is happy to buy it for her. She knows the dynamics of her relationship with her own father, so I highly doubt she did so expecting it to be an issue. If so she was right - it wasn’t an issue. Not with him, anyway.

What does ‘acknowledging privilege’ even mean? Do you think that because she lives according to the means her family readily provide that she isn’t aware of it? Is she meant to constantly perform humility in order to appease resentful strangers?

It doesn’t sound like she’s ’lost context’ at all, you’re just failing to acknowledge hers. Her reality is entirely different to yours, and your context was never hers to lose.

If I was loaded ds would have had a nice new car. He got a 10 year old fiesta instead. To some, buying any car for a dc once they past their test is OTT.

Everyone has different baselines of what is normal and what is excessive. What is the point of wealth if you have it and you don't enjoy what it can give you?

I guess I didn't realise the extent of his wealth and lately it has been coming up a lot. Fully renovating a uni flat for example to a relatively high spec - just why? Oh 50k on a car and 7k insurance no problem! It is crazy to me and I suppose I'm venting

You are making no sense. Why? Because he can do why not? If 7K insurance is no problem, then exactly that, it is no problem. Why are you angsty and venting? What do you want him to do? Give all of his rental properties away and lower his salary (presumably to yours) and live on this, just ‘because’. Or, how about he spends nothing, and dies with it all in the bank? Would that make you happy? He has a lot of money. It’s common sense he spends that, what is the problem with this and why on earth would it affect you at all, let alone make you have to vent? It’s all so weird.

It doesn't suggest that at all. It suggests she's living the cards she's been dealt. Why would she do otherwise? If she's grown up with wealth, that's just normal for her

What I feel isn't jealousy. It's kind of distate? That people think it's important, beyond a certain level?

To me there's a big difference between acknowledging that being able to buy such items reflects one's hard work and luck in life, whilst perceiving no shame in not being in that position, against expecting such items without an acknowledgement of one's privilege in having them, particularly where there's a sense of entitlement and that ordinary things are "not good enough for me". If OP's partner just bought his daughter a Ford estate, which in theory would match what she needs, for example, would she throw a tantrum or not? Would she refuse to be seen dead in it? Or would she be delighted?

To be fair we don't know if OP's DD is the latter type, though even the fact that she is shamelessly asking for such items at her age suggests that she has lost context on value and proportion in finances.