To have said getting a 19 year old a brand new expensive car is ludicrous

Appreciate I'll be judged... but my Range Rover Sport may have been a heavy SUV but did 0-60 in something like 5 seconds which was quicker than some sports cars.

I never had an accident in it but I once pulled out into a tight space, the car kind of fishtailed and I ended up on the bank. It was a deserted rural area before I'm accused of risking pedestrian safety. So yes, those type of cars are quite possibly too powerful for an inexperienced younger driver.

It's not your money, so what?

I drive a big SUV and find the opposite. It’s so heavy it doesn’t get away from you, it takes time for the speed to catch up with its bulk if that makes sense, and it’s much easier to keep to the speed limit than a medium size hatchback we have as that zips away from on the slightest touch. The kids all found this when learning to drive as well, they all learnt on big heavy SUV’s and once in a blue moon if none were available they would use DH’s who has always had a small/mid hatchback. They considered/consider the hatchback like a rally car that goes zoom, as opposed to one where you have to make an effort to get it to speed.

If the little light cars are going at a wicked speed and the brakes get jammed on, they can go airborne as well as their back ends can lift, whereas a really big heavy car won’t, but obviously has more momentum along the ground and is slower to stop, but preferable to leaving the ground imo.

I completely agree. My objection wouldn’t be regarding the price of the car but because 19 year olds shouldn’t be driving big, powerful cars like that.

Just as well that a C200 is neither big nor powerful then I suppose.

I completely agree. My objection wouldn’t be regarding the price of the car but because 19 year olds shouldn’t be driving big, powerful cars like that.

I drive a small hatchback, my husband’s car is a big SUV. I am religious about not going over 30 in residential areas but I have to make much more of a conscious effort to drive under the speed limit in my husband’s car compared to when I drive mine. I personally feel that the temptation to speed in these big cars is much higher than smaller cars. I don’t know exactly why that is but I feel I’m not alone in this- whenever I see cars driving at speed down a particular street near my home, they are almost always big SUVs.

You do sound jealous. If we can afford it we will help our two to get cars when they start driving - unfortunately for them nothing as grand as what she is being offered. I would rather my children had relatively new cars for the safety features though.

As long as he can afford it, it’s up to him.

I didn’t know my husband came from wealth when we met. He was working in a coffee shop and I moaned that I would have to change my English degree to accounting or something to make money. After people stopped laughing at me they explained basic facts so that was fine. It’s a bit of a learning curve but to be honest? I lost a lot of friends. Very much like you. You could see the hate in their eyes. It hurts but there’s absolutely no getting away from it. You’ll have to break up you can’t expose his daughter to you. And I don’t go around with designer anything or cars but people know the businesses so that’s that.

But you are cruel. The same way anyone who thought I wouldn’t love them anymore was cruel.

To answer your question of "Just Why?". Surely the answer is "Because he can"

He has the money to do this, so why wouldn't he? What would you rather he do with it, have it sit in a bank account earning him even more interest. At least if he's spending it then it trickles down into the economy. I'd much rather the rich were pissing away their fortunes than hoarding it like a dragon.

If you're unhappy with the way he's earnt his money, then the only thing you can do about it is leave him, there's no point complaining about how he's choosing to spend it.

This is the life of the wealthy, they can afford to do something so they do it. The end.

His money, his choice. You aren't married, there are no shared contractual considerations or obligations. You sound more concerned about perceived extravagance than the increased risk to a 19yr old driving a high powered car. I'd say that both your values are out of sync.

EnglishBluebell · 21/06/2024 13:02
This is nonsensical ignorance!! A more powerful car shoots forward easier and goes faster easier and quicker! You really don't realise that a powerful vehicle is more dangerous than a Fiesta?!?!

You’ll be an awful lot safer in a new, powerful car than you would in a Fiesta if someone else hit you, though.

Are you just upset that none of this money is going to come your way OP, and your kids will have a very different lifestyle to their ,well, 'step-sister'?

Not your money or your child, so how exactly does this affect you that you a) entered the conversation about it in the first place and b) posted on the internet for opinions?

You don't live with her father so it's not a matter of discussing household finances. In all honesty you sound jealous. Not your money, not your business

His money he can do as he wishes especially as it doesn’t sound like it will impact you/your joint family together.

are your children his as well? He just needs to know this will be the expectation for all his kids - brand new cars.

if the new one isn’t any more practical than her current car I think it’s reasonable to have an opinion and suggest something you think is practical, then they can consider it.

He can afford it , he’s the parent not you and you have said you aren’t involved in parenting so in the nicest way it’s not any of your business . It’s not going to affect you in the slightest so I don’t see why you care

Except it’s not an AMG. It’s just an AMG Line, which is a trim level. Insurance might be expensive, or it might not. Perhaps as an HNW or UHNW individual they have a family fleet policy? Either way, an entry level powered C class with the top level of trim is hardly an extravagant car. Sounds like the father has done a good job of managing down his daughter’s aspirations from an actual performance variant to the hum drum version with some fancy trim!!

Bloody ridiculous, Would be nearing £10,000 a year to insure!!

Again, why is it ‘bloody ridiculous’. You have not answered what you want him to do with all his ‘spare’ money given you don’t seem to like him to spend it. It’s pretty simple. Item A costs £5 and item B costs £50. For someone who has to save and is on a moderate budget, they will likely go item A because they must. If someone has a lot of money and item B won’t put a dent in it or affect them in any way money wise, they will go Item B because they can. How do you not understand this?

Both your boyfriend and his child have a lot of $$ squirrelled away (taking it his daughter can’t access hers now being in Trust). But you don’t want either of them to acknowledge they have money, or spend money. You will only be happy if they ever buy item A. You don’t want them to buy item B. What point is there in that when it just leaves extra money sitting there piling up.

Also, why would you give a toss about the insurance? Why bother? Even if it’s £50K for the insurance, if he’s got that going spare then what does it matter? Unless he’s asking to borrow it from you, which is not the case, why would it even concern you or you give it a second thought? Please spare the bloke and his daughter. Exit the relationship as your basic lack of understanding on how money works (that is, if you have plenty to spare then you spend it), should not be their cross to bear.

@Liolio How long do you think it will take to identify a 19 yo female St Andrews student who:
Plays on the tennis team
Lives in a 4 bed flat
Drives a C200 AMG line premium plus saloon?

You have put your need to vent your jealous disapproval, on an online forum no less, above the privacy of your DP's DD. I can't understand why you felt the need to google the cars when you're not part of the decision or financing either.

so what would be ok? A 2nd hand Volvo estate? Surely it’s all relative. Some wealthy kids get given sports cars. Some people get 2nd hand bikes. If her family has the money it’s not spoiling. I think you’re jealous and you should think carefully of whether you’re comfortable with the wealthy disparity in your relationship

It doesn’t sound as if their lifestyle is for you. Probably best to re-think the relationship as you are way too worked up about something that doesn’t affect you.

Why would that get you started? Aren’t you happy she has a nice place to live?

AMG Merc? OMG I hope he's paying the insurance premium. Cuz that's gonna burn.
Also it's a real target for thieves!

Would not be what I'd want as a car at that age regardless of how loaded I was (not that I was mind you!)

Re evaluation is probably going to do you a power of good. You will just seethe about this girl and it's not really her it's him who has kept her in this lifestyle.

I think re-evaluating the relationship is a good idea. It’s ridiculous to date someone wealthy and get all riled up when they are more extravagant than you. The relationship is clearly not making you happy, rightly or wrongly.

Sounds like this isn’t the relationship for you. Your partners dd will probably spend her whole life privileged. She has the means ( via her parent) to live very well now and is also in the process of getting her own education. 10k car insurance to someone incredibly wealthy is nothing. Parents in average jobs pay 2k plus for their teens insurance, which will have a bigger impact on their finances than your dp will see.