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AIBU?

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Is this school mum trying to intimidate me??

162 replies

WayUpHigh1 · 21/06/2024 00:03

This sounds really weird but I’ve had a few encounters with this school mum now and every time I’ve seen him it happens. Few times outside the school gates and one time in a shop near the school. She seems to be quite loud and ‘out there’. Anyway, she will just be walking normally and then when she sees me she will purposefully come towards me and into my path and block me walking and I have to go around and then she said ‘oh sorry’ with a laugh in her voice. First time it happened I just thought nothing of it but it keeps happening.

OP posts:
Justanothermum42 · 25/06/2024 10:57

thequickbrowndog · 21/06/2024 17:27

She sounds like an idiot, cross the road when you see her!

Terrible advice! Move out of the way, so the bully can carry on with the intimidation? Hell no!

needsomewarmsunshine · 25/06/2024 10:39

When some idiot does this to me I stop completely and let them walk around me.
A Billy big balls type [wanker] did this once in a B&Q car park and stood in front of me I was wheeling a large, heavy trolley loaded with cement bags and wood.
We stood facing each other for a few moments until he had to back down. He walked past muttering " Bitch." I ignored him, I don't give a shit anyway.

LakeTiticaca · 25/06/2024 10:32

You could try it this way: " next time you do this deliberately I will put you on your arse" and carry on with your day

ForZingyHare · 25/06/2024 10:20

Walk round her, ignore her, it's her problem not yours, she sounds vile and looking for a reaction. Pretend to be on your phone, don't even look up, chat and laugh on your phone and let her look the stupid one. She's absolutely not worth it. Totally understand why it feeling intimidated, you've got this.

tara66 · 25/06/2024 10:04

Avoid her, this may not be the worst of it.

graceinspace999 · 25/06/2024 09:54

She’s a bully looking for a fight. If she barges into you and you don’t move she’ll turn it around and accuse you of bumping into her.
Avoid her and talk to the school or police. Have it on record that she’s been intimidating you.

Codlingmoths · 25/06/2024 09:46

Stop, and chat- pretend you’ve assumed she did this because she is wanting to catch up. Smile, be really friendly and say hi how are you?? What are you up to? Lovely weather, have you plans for summer? I haven’t booked that far ahead but I do love the local walks .. with expectant pauses for her to reply.

ColinMyWifeBridgerton · 25/06/2024 09:39

I also wouldn't do a clever comeback on case she escalates. But you should walk straight into her.

TemuSpecialBuy · 25/06/2024 07:52

She sounds mentally unwell.
i wouldn’t engage AT ALL.

if I saw her again I’d stop walking ( ie be completely stationary not moving at all) At the side of the pavement and turn slightly away.

get your phone out and appear engrossed in it.

dont register her presence and let her walk around you.

hold on to your phone in case she bumps you!
If she does give minimum reaction.

Alternatively I’d cross the road.

I would under no circumstances feed the crazy.

@HeapsOfStuff s advice is probably what she is DYING for you to do. So I wouldn’t play into that at all.

HeapsOfStuff · 25/06/2024 07:24

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at OP's request.

legalseagull · 25/06/2024 06:33

Stop dead - look at her "Oh good morning. Did you need something?"

DampDust · 21/06/2024 18:40

Just stop - look at your phone - and wait till she goes round you

AppleStrudel23 · 21/06/2024 17:44

Weird! But I wouldn't get sassy with her personally, I'd just say excuse me and ignore her. She'll get bored of you not reacting

I like to think about what peoples motives are and it sounds like she's trying to taunt you and get you to say or do something. Life's to short! Let her play her games and I wouldn't worry about it. Good luck!

StrawberryWater · 21/06/2024 17:37

Just look her in the eye and say loudly "What a strange woman you are" laugh and walk away. She sounds like an idiot, treat her like one.

thequickbrowndog · 21/06/2024 17:27

She sounds like an idiot, cross the road when you see her!

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 21/06/2024 11:50

Maybe I've read this wrong and she's just got some issues.

However, from what you've said, Shes amusing herself. She's a bully. I'm guessing she's got a follower or two to observe her antics and she's dying for a confrontation.

I think that she's got an expectation of seeing you so she can carry on her antics and as a first try I think it would be better to change your timings slightly so that you can avoid her and break the cycle so she tires of waiting and finds some other way to entertain herself.

Out of sight out of mind might be enough to shake her off. I'd try that first before challenging her. It may sound a bit cowardly, but its a first step.

The other thing is safety in numbers. Can you find some other mums to walk with? She is less likely to try this if you are in a group. They would also be good witnesses.
You could also try grey rock. She's looking for a reaction, so don't give it, as others have said, Sunglasses, iphone earbuds, conversation with other mums... act as if she is invisible.

Have a word with the school too, and let them know. You might not be the only one. if you feel they are approachable.

shearwater2 · 21/06/2024 11:37

I would just stop and wait for her to move around me or walk into me.

I'm a regular gym goer and a pretty solid wall to walk into, it would definitely hurt her more than me if she walked into me.

evtheria · 21/06/2024 11:34

As much as I would want to do what @Universal99 has said 🤣

This would really confuse and annoy me.
I'd try walking as I normally do, but as soon as I clocked she's coming 'for me' I would stop dead in my tracks. She'll either veer off, or what - continue then stop there waiting for me to move? THEN WORDS COULD BE HAD!!!

PS.
The only similar thing I've experienced to this was a male stranger on the same tram platform as me. He was strolling up and down and I was stood off to one side on my phone, when I became aware that he was purposely coming 'my way' despite me occasionally shifting a few steps this way or that to move. On his final lap he sped up and then barged me, muttering something (very charming and erudite, I assume) before scarpering away off the platform. I really wish I had had the chance to confront him.

WiseBiscuit · 21/06/2024 11:27

Don’t move and say loudly “are you drunk?” Preferably loud enough so all the other parents hear.

BuggeryBumFlaps · 21/06/2024 11:24

I'm a fan of not moving and then saying with a laugh 'ohhh you dancing'

And if she does is again something like 'we must stop meeting like this, people will start talking' but simply not move.

I also like the head down and just walk into her

RhiWrites · 21/06/2024 11:16

Stop where you are and wave Ather with both hands “Hellooooooo Hermioneeeeee” and when she looks at you big grin and “just letting you know I’m here so you won’t walk into me again, you’re always a million miles away in the morning, aren’t you?”

Bet she won’t do it again…

CocoapuffPuff · 21/06/2024 11:13

Just stop dead and stare straight into her eyes with your eyebrows raised. She'll have no option but to swerve or barge into you. If she barges, put on your best Oscar winning performance and fall over, shrieking in pain. Say loudly in a VERY hurt voice "Amanda, WHY DID YOU JUST PUSH ME OVER????? You walked right into me!!!". If you can add a sob or tear, even better. Make her look like the bully she is.

I did this. 3 people came to help me and told her they'd seen what she did and told her to be a bit more bloody careful in future. She now avoids me like the plague.

Worthalltheyears · 21/06/2024 11:12

Stand your ground and ask her ‘Did you think you could walk through me?’

Universal99 · 21/06/2024 11:10

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

Projectme · 21/06/2024 11:07

@OriginalUsername2 has the perfect advice. Just stand your ground.