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AIBU?

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Is this school mum trying to intimidate me??

162 replies

WayUpHigh1 · 21/06/2024 00:03

This sounds really weird but I’ve had a few encounters with this school mum now and every time I’ve seen him it happens. Few times outside the school gates and one time in a shop near the school. She seems to be quite loud and ‘out there’. Anyway, she will just be walking normally and then when she sees me she will purposefully come towards me and into my path and block me walking and I have to go around and then she said ‘oh sorry’ with a laugh in her voice. First time it happened I just thought nothing of it but it keeps happening.

OP posts:
Lulu49 · 26/06/2024 18:24

Oh God yes there's lots of rough mums like that

tommyhoundmum · 26/06/2024 18:21

Be very careful op. This type of individual can be very confrontational. She may just be envious of you. Something similar happened to me. I was with my daughter in the supermarket and we were looking round chatting and laughing together when a huge woman who was standing next to me stepped deliberately on the top of my foot and glared at me. Never seen her before or since. However, months later a photo in the Standard that looked very like her said she had pushed an unoffensive woman over into traffic. Check with school first that there are no mental health issues to be aware of. Good luck.

Helen1625 · 26/06/2024 18:20

She sounds weird. Have you had a falling out with her?

Like lots of others have said, I'd stop dead in my tracks, I wouldn't be walking around her. Stop and turn to look at something, check for a text, anything that draws your eyes away from her but means your stationary when she gets close and has no choice but to move.

wasdarknowblond · 26/06/2024 18:09

She sounds horrible and a bully - I think you need to stand your ground otherwise she’ll feel she’s got the upper hand. I also wonder if she’s on something? What a ghastly woman.

Cakeandcoffeea · 26/06/2024 18:07

WayUpHigh1 · 21/06/2024 00:03

This sounds really weird but I’ve had a few encounters with this school mum now and every time I’ve seen him it happens. Few times outside the school gates and one time in a shop near the school. She seems to be quite loud and ‘out there’. Anyway, she will just be walking normally and then when she sees me she will purposefully come towards me and into my path and block me walking and I have to go around and then she said ‘oh sorry’ with a laugh in her voice. First time it happened I just thought nothing of it but it keeps happening.

Can you just cross the road when you see her ? She sounds unhinged to be honest ❤️

MrsB0812 · 26/06/2024 18:06

She sounds like the typical ahole school parent, just stay well out of her way , don't let her intimidate you

ALovelyCupOfNameChange · 26/06/2024 17:54

Disarm her

“that’s a lovely dress you’ve got on”

Hmm1234 · 26/06/2024 17:50

She clearly wants to engage with you maybe make friends? What’s the backstory here? Or has she got wind of you bitxhin about her to other school mums saying she’s ‘rough’ etc

couchparsnip · 26/06/2024 07:17

Was this originally about a man and you changed the gender? Would explain the stray "him".
I would also be standing my ground. Just be on your phone then stop dead when they are in front of you. Maybe look up briefly but quizzically. They will have to go around you or barge into you.

Fraaahnces · 26/06/2024 00:43

@Allthehorsesintheworld or raspberry syrup/cranberry/cherry juice (sticky af & stains)

lemonmeringueno3 · 25/06/2024 18:48

If someone walked towards me and then stood in my path I'd assume they wanted to talk to me and wouldn't attempt to walk around them.

MyMiniMetro · 25/06/2024 18:46

Don't engage with her in any way just yet. Speak to the head about this crazy behaviour, not so they can do anything as such, just so that they are aware. It could also pay dividends if the mad mother tries to escalate the situation and then blame you, the school will already be in the loop.

Ignoring is the best course of action initially. Just always look mildly worried about her when she does this, like you would an unsteady old lady. You're not going to get someone that immature to suddenly apologise or see reason. If you don't rise to the bait she may get bored.

However, it's equally possible she will escalate and get worse. Some people with a personality disorder do this thing where they are really really horrible to someone, pushing and pushing until the other person is horrible back. This then makes their initial bad behaviour towards the victim seem justified, they can now play martyr with others around them and it gives them excuse to be even more horrible to the victim, all while painting themselves as the true victim. It's all usually a cycle created from early trauma.

If faced with escalation from this woman, the best way to react is to put on your best Louis Theroux concerned face and ask warmly, like a grown up to a crying child, "Are you okay?" Really ramp it up. Whatever the answer, up the concern with "Are you sure you're okay. You seem to be walking into people and rambling like you've had a bump on the head. Do you need an ambulance?" Act like you've completely not noticed that she's trying to provoke you. Louis is the master at de-escalating people on the attack with excessive kindness, he's worth a watch.

Metaphorically speaking, kill this woman with excessive concern and kindness; I promise she won't know what the hell to do with that and back right off.

PinotDragon · 25/06/2024 17:45

Some options:

Dodge; wait till she is near then dodge round and chuckle.

Hold your ground; firm up your shoulder and ground yourself (let your weight drop into your hips and thighs). Surprisingly unmovable when you do this if she actually slams into you but may invite some mouthiness. Can send the knocker flat on their arse in some cases which may cause retaliation.

A well timed stick out of the foot so she trips. Also may invite a retaliation.

Call her out. Ask her why the fuck she is so insistent on invading your personal space.

Step aside and smile. The least likely to cause a reaction but will probably make you simmer on the inside.

My personal is option 3.

fiddlesticksohyeah · 25/06/2024 17:35

Op, unless you are the sort of person who can lower themselves to deal with someone this rough (physically and verbally) then keep away. Some of the suggestions on here saying stand your ground etc maybe don't realise what kind of sewer these sort live in and that this behaviour is normal to them, as is kicking off etc. I'm guessing you're probably nice and normal, which is cat nip to these bullies.

TeaGinandFags · 25/06/2024 17:29

She's a bully and needs stopping.

Put your phone to record video and hold it in front of you as you walk, as if you were reading. When you see her, slow right down so you can record her steer towards you then stop. Stare intently at your phone so you can see her clearly on camera. If she walks into you then it's clear what she's doing.

Make sure you keep hold of your phone. Obviously.

Make a caustic remark about her not being able to avoid a stationary object. Ask everyone loudly if they saw what happened. Let her mouth off. When she's gone stop record.

Report that shit PDQ as harassment is a crime. She needs a slapping you simply can't provide.

I can guarantee that you are not the first person she's bullied. You simply need to be the last. You will not achieve this by giving her what she wants

Purplecatshopaholic · 25/06/2024 17:11

I would stop, look her in the eye and say ‘yes, can I help you?’. She needs a bit of a calm face-off by the sounds of it. Playground stuff and very annoying.
PS she sounds bonkers!

Mummy2024 · 25/06/2024 16:59

WayUpHigh1 · 21/06/2024 11:03

Sorry, meant to say her. I’d think it was one of the other things but she’s walking fine just straight but as soon as she sees me coming she heads towards my path and she seems to find it funny when I have to move round her. I know it sounds strange but it really does seem like she does it on purpose

Next time stop and don't move.... just stand there staring at her. See what she does

Sunnywashing · 25/06/2024 16:59

I know it's probably not this, but just to offer a different opinion, is there any way it's an awkward way of her trying to make friends? Socially awkward people can come over a bit odd...?

BileBeansSara · 25/06/2024 16:58

EnglishBluebell · 25/06/2024 16:11

A claim? OP is an individual, not a business. How is she going to claim?

I'm not saying her behaviour makes sense. It's as weird as hell but loons have strange ideas.

User1974 · 25/06/2024 16:57

I'd hop dramatically out of the way, Irish Dancer style, and always give her a wide berth - literally a wide berth. She sounds silly and if you are silly with me I tend to be silly back 😂

HopelesslyOptimistic · 25/06/2024 16:45

Lots of great suggestions.... please pick one and let us know how you get on. Stand your ground girl, you've got this. She will not test you again....

coldcallerbaiter · 25/06/2024 16:38

Film her. She will look stupid.

user1471538283 · 25/06/2024 16:35

She sounds unhinged, rough and/or insufferable. Attention seeking behaviour.

No one has got the patience for this. I'd scream at her to "STOP IT!" the very next time she does it

EnglishBluebell · 25/06/2024 16:12

Poolstream · 25/06/2024 12:01

Next time let her bump into you and then say loudly
Look, I’m happily married. Will you stop coming onto me. I’m not interested.

Also this!!!

EnglishBluebell · 25/06/2024 16:11

BileBeansSara · 25/06/2024 16:04

I think I would ask a mate to video this from a distance once or twice. I'd be concerned that she's working up to faking an injury from you tripping her or something and making a claim. There has to be a reason behind this very weird behaviour but now you are seeing a pattern, I would take preemptive action and try and get this behaviour on record.

A claim? OP is an individual, not a business. How is she going to claim?