Page 2 | To think that owning your own home doesn't give you the right to be rude and entitled?

k2493 · 2024-06-20T22:17:25+00:00

AIBU to think that owning your own home doesn't give you the right to be rude and entitled? We have been having issues with our neighbours and how entitled they appear to be for years now. i.e please stop allowing your guests to park where they block our driveway. We have asked the agent but we keep getting told try to have a discussion. Well I finally had enough and politely asked must you constantly allow your guests to block our driveway? It's making our life very difficult. The response straight away was Do you own your property? Nope. Well we do. What the actual? I am genuinely confused. Does it really matter in this day and age whether you rent or own? DH says he's a twat because it should have nothing to do with money but if he wants to play that game, we pay 1.5 times more in rent than he does for his mortgage so he needs to get a life. Also I appreciate there have been some bad tenants in the past but there's a lot of us good ones and I appreciate not all home owners are this bias but surely this is bang out of order lording it over and thinking it's there god given right because they own and we don't. I work with clients needing housing all the time so I know how severe the housing shortage is at the moment. Surely anyone who is keeping a roof over there head at the moment is doing a great job mortgage, tenant or otherwise. Why do we deserve less respect because we are renting.

OnePeachCrow · 21/06/2024 10:01

I work in social housing. My heart absolutely sinks when I answer the phone and the caller starts by telling me they own their house because 9 times out of 10 it will be a ridiculous complaint about one of our tenants.

Toooldforlonghair · 21/06/2024 09:49

We own our house but in an area where at least 50% are rented. Many have LLs living in the property as the houses are ones that easily divide into flats. I came across this attitude to renters at a neighbours party when a bloke introduced me, sneeringly to his wife as:

' One of those living in those HA houses'.

All are privately owned. There are no HA houses. He had a total personality transplant when I told him this, adding truthfully I was also mortgage free, which just confirmed what a snobby git he is. His reason for assuming that the houses that we are HA tenants? All the houses in the row are the same colour!

This was to save money. Scaffolding is required for work because of the height of the houses which adds considerably to the cost. We asked our neighbour (a builder) for help when the house needed repainting. He saved us and himself money by offering to do the other houses in the terrace - hence all the same colour.

Cattery · 21/06/2024 09:30

OnTheRightSideOfGeography · 21/06/2024 00:04

It's astonishing how many people seem to think that homeowners have more rights than those who rent. Moreover, those who also believe in an additional hierarchy of how long you've lived there, meaning that those who have been there for 40 years get first dibs on the parking, those who've only been there 15 years get the leftover scraps and the renters don't deserve anything at all.

I bet the people with these attitudes are also disproportionally nasty racists; so much so that, after they have managed to buy themselves a house in a 'naice white neighbourhood - with none of those undesirable immigrant sorts' (i.e. anybody who is non-white), they need to actively search for some other ridiculous petty 'reason' to stir up animosity based on some arbitrary characteristic that they just happen to 'win', based on their own stupid rules.

This ^

SomePosters · 21/06/2024 09:29

Start letting their tyres down, cap off, mung bean under, cap on. 30 seconds.

its not criminal damage but it’s very inconvenient for them and they will soon learn that it’s easier to park elsewhere

Some people won’t play nice so there is no point trying to play nice with them, sadly.
I would much rather live in a world where we just be considerate of each other but what can you do?

Sharontheodopolodous · 21/06/2024 09:25

Stripeysocks1981 · 20/06/2024 23:25

They sound like absolute wankers. Being homeowners doesn’t mean they own the fucking street. Hate people like this!

We had the exact same thing
Only they rented (council) and we own (she thought we rented)
She moved in and seemed to think it was her street and we had to live under her rules
I don't think it's because they own their house,it's because they are twats

Reugny · 21/06/2024 09:24

Where I live if you block someone's drive you can call out the parking attendants to at least get the car a ticket.

After ticketing if the vehicle is still there after about an hour it can be towed away.

There used to be a guy who used to block someone's drive weekly on the way to my DD's CM. The guy had a blue badge. I don't know whether he asked the occupants if he could park there.

Anyway he ended up getting a ticket and catching the parking attendant who told him the rules applied regardless of whether he had permission from the householder to block them in.

crackofdoom · 21/06/2024 09:24

EnglishBluebell · 21/06/2024 09:06

Us single parents (99.99% of us did NOT choose to become single parents btw) experience the same judgement. Arguably worse as it's almost daily for me! I became a single parent as I was widowed.... I now have a partner but I still get judgement

Agree.

EnglishBluebell · 21/06/2024 09:19

orangeleopard · 21/06/2024 08:22

I’m having a very similar issue. I live on a nice new build ‘estate’ where all of the houses are owned and are worth around £1m+. On this estate is two small council block of flats, we pay over £1k to the council so our rent isn’t cheap - but they treat us like crap because we’re council and they own their homes. The flats have a car park where we have allocated parking spaces. The houses don’t want to lower the status of the area by making it look ‘messy’ with cars on the road so they send their visitors to park in our car park - which means them parking in our allocated spaces. I mean when people have parties, all guests park in our car park which means none of us residents cannot park in our own spaces. I have brought it up the council and they do nothing, yet when one of the houses bring something up - the council send out a letter to state to ‘not park on the kerbs/road’. I have two allocated spaces and one car and a lot of the time cannot get one of my spaces. These houses have garage/garages AND large drives and still have the audacity to use our carpark. Yet they think because they own their homes and we’re ’just’ council that we’re beneath them.

Park behind the cars in your spaces! They'll soon learn when they can’t get their cars out!!

EnglishBluebell · 21/06/2024 09:17

PoppyCherryDog · 21/06/2024 08:21

Yanbu they shouldn’t block your driveway.

But you have no idea what their mortgage is…

OP has just said they've told her! RTFT!!

Tiredalwaystired · 21/06/2024 09:12

Foxblue · 21/06/2024 08:51

The mortgage comments are making me laugh, because you can very easily figure out roughly what people's mortgages are if you know either what £ or % their deposit was and roughly how old they are. Or at least, you can figure out the worst case scenario for their mortgage payments!
Price of house is available online, so you'll know roughly when they applied for the deposit and what interest rates were available at that time.
You need the deposit and the term length... done.
No, it doesn't account for the millions of variables that can get your rate up or down, but you could absolutely get a ballpark figure for most people. But it's unlikely people will tell you deposit/equity so.

Not necessarily. They might have remortgaged £££ for renovation works. You have no idea what that might have added to a mortgage.

PoppyCherryDog · 21/06/2024 09:12

Foxblue · 21/06/2024 08:51

The mortgage comments are making me laugh, because you can very easily figure out roughly what people's mortgages are if you know either what £ or % their deposit was and roughly how old they are. Or at least, you can figure out the worst case scenario for their mortgage payments!
Price of house is available online, so you'll know roughly when they applied for the deposit and what interest rates were available at that time.
You need the deposit and the term length... done.
No, it doesn't account for the millions of variables that can get your rate up or down, but you could absolutely get a ballpark figure for most people. But it's unlikely people will tell you deposit/equity so.

Exactly you need the term and deposit amount… too massive variables that people don’t tend to share with other particularly neighbours… very hard to get a ball park figure without those things so not easy as you say

TheaBrandt · 21/06/2024 09:10

Had this in my twenties my flatmate and I lived in a gorgeous flat in a Georgian house in a tiny cul de sac they would have street parties etc but we were never invited! And were referred to as “the renters!”. We didn’t care but still!

EnglishBluebell · 21/06/2024 09:06

Us single parents (99.99% of us did NOT choose to become single parents btw) experience the same judgement. Arguably worse as it's almost daily for me! I became a single parent as I was widowed.... I now have a partner but I still get judgement

80smonster · 21/06/2024 09:04

I think the point your neighbours are making, albeit in the most bonehead way possible, is if you rent you do not have boundary disputes as you would with an owner, or party wall dispute if it’s a neighbouring property involving owner occupiers. However, your landlord would be able to take up this matter with them on your behalf. I’d suggest speaking to the LL to request that your neighbours park elsewhere. Are these properties new builds by any chance?

EnglishBluebell · 21/06/2024 09:01

GoneFishingToday · 20/06/2024 23:27

Sadly OP it seems that your neighbour is a twat of the highest order! I hate people like this, it's just so unnecessary. We own our house outright, but it would never occur to me to point that out to anyone, just to make a point that I think I'm better than they are. Can you possibly play him at his own game, and make parking for his house/guests difficult? I bet everything he has is bought on credit!!

Yet you just pointed it out AND added the 'outright' which is entirely irrelevant! 🤣

MrsGhastlyCrumb · 21/06/2024 08:59

So they have a mortgage? Tell them the bank owns their house then.

CassandraWebb · 21/06/2024 08:57

orangeleopard · 21/06/2024 08:22

I’m having a very similar issue. I live on a nice new build ‘estate’ where all of the houses are owned and are worth around £1m+. On this estate is two small council block of flats, we pay over £1k to the council so our rent isn’t cheap - but they treat us like crap because we’re council and they own their homes. The flats have a car park where we have allocated parking spaces. The houses don’t want to lower the status of the area by making it look ‘messy’ with cars on the road so they send their visitors to park in our car park - which means them parking in our allocated spaces. I mean when people have parties, all guests park in our car park which means none of us residents cannot park in our own spaces. I have brought it up the council and they do nothing, yet when one of the houses bring something up - the council send out a letter to state to ‘not park on the kerbs/road’. I have two allocated spaces and one car and a lot of the time cannot get one of my spaces. These houses have garage/garages AND large drives and still have the audacity to use our carpark. Yet they think because they own their homes and we’re ’just’ council that we’re beneath them.

I would message your local councillor about this. Or go and speak at a council meeting. Genuinely.

Foxblue · 21/06/2024 08:51

The mortgage comments are making me laugh, because you can very easily figure out roughly what people's mortgages are if you know either what £ or % their deposit was and roughly how old they are. Or at least, you can figure out the worst case scenario for their mortgage payments!
Price of house is available online, so you'll know roughly when they applied for the deposit and what interest rates were available at that time.
You need the deposit and the term length... done.
No, it doesn't account for the millions of variables that can get your rate up or down, but you could absolutely get a ballpark figure for most people. But it's unlikely people will tell you deposit/equity so.

stopthepigeonstopthepigeon · 21/06/2024 08:50

dudsville · 20/06/2024 23:24

Home ownership isn't what makes them jerks, it's about their personality.

This.

Nouvellenovel · 21/06/2024 08:47

I would point out that it’s a lot cheaper and easier for you to move than it is for him so if he wants to live next door to really bad neighbours then carry on being an idiot and he’ll find out what it’s like.

Or just start blocking his driveway.

Soukmyfalafel · 21/06/2024 08:43

Livelovebehappy · 21/06/2024 08:38

I think this about car ownership too. As long as my car is economic, gets me from A to B, I’m happy. But lots of people judge others by the type of car they drive. Many people who drive their large cars though, lease them, paying as much as a monthly mortgage in some cases. Bonkers. My small suzuki is paid for in full.

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So it's OK to rent a car and feel superior, but not a house? Strange times we live in.

Livelovebehappy · 21/06/2024 08:38

parkrun500club · 21/06/2024 08:32

I've not encountered this with home ownership but I've definitely encountered it with cars - ie if you have a cheap (relatively speaking, I'm not sure any second hand car is cheap these days!) car you must be poor and therefore not worth speaking to.

Experienced it with parents of members of ds's football team. Also a neighbour. And a neighbour of my mum who was inspecting our 2014 reg car (my mum spotted him looking at it said our Porsche was in the garage )

The thing is, I probably afford a new(er) car but I don't want one - I work from home and don't need to drive very much.

And by the same token it's a bit of an assumption that people who rent can't afford to buy - there are lots of reasons why people rent! And so what if they can't afford to buy. Lots of people can't afford to buy. It's weird how people think they are morally superior because they (think they) have more money.

Silly snob OP but it's hard when you live next door to them.

Edited

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I think this about car ownership too. As long as my car is economic, gets me from A to B, I’m happy. But lots of people judge others by the type of car they drive. Many people who drive their large cars though, lease them, paying as much as a monthly mortgage in some cases. Bonkers. My small suzuki is paid for in full.

Soukmyfalafel · 21/06/2024 08:37

The snobbery around owning a house is also very baffling in the UK. Yes it's good to own as you don't pay for housing after 25 years, but what people don't seem to realise is that house prices have only really increased in nominal terms, in real terms when you factor in inflation there is no gain. They haven't risen in real value. They've just bought a house and that's it.

HAF1119 · 21/06/2024 08:37

Agreed. I have both owned and rented. It is your home regardless and of literally no relevance to anything if it is social housing, private rent, or owned in terms of issues like this!

LargeJugs · 21/06/2024 08:37

I bought both sides of a semi detached so I could control my neighbours. I didn't want scum renting it with no control ...

... scum can also buy houses so yeah that's satire.