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AIBU?

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Original poster

So unbelievably bored

37 replies

fannyschmeller · 20/06/2024 22:08

Life is just such a massive slog at the moment. Everyday is the same - work, lunch, home, kids tea, bath time, bedtime, sit and watch shit on TV. Then it's the weekend where I'm tasked with trying to entertain two kids with a 9 year age gap which is nigh on impossible.
I keep thinking I'll try and do more in the evenings, go for a walk or go the gym or a class but the reality is there is no time left for anything. And if there was I'm usually so knackered I can't summon the energy for it.
I look forward to 'chilling' on a night but then I just feel frustrated, flat and bored. Dh has just put an utterly shit film on that I have no interest in and just feeling like my whole life is wasting away.
We have no childcare options so never even get the chance for a break. Maybe if we did I wouldn't feel so fucking fed up. Everyday is the exact same. I've fallen into unhealthy habits like having a glass of wine every night and eating shit food to at least give me some enjoyment through the mundanity but that's obviously not good for me either.

OP posts:
nutella8 · 20/06/2024 22:32

Welcome to the rest of your life...

Mumtoson123 · 20/06/2024 22:27

You’re stuck in a rut and can’t see any way out as it feels like work and family life have taken over and you’ve got no time to yourself

You and DH have each other, which is a privilege not every parent has.

Why don’t you sit down and agree on an evening a week where you can both go out and do your own thing?

I think a lot of people make excuses but hate being in the rut, some of my friends always complain they have no time but can easily make the time for a few hours a week as their DH is at home who can easily man the fort for a few hours!

Go to a gym class, go for a walk, go shopping, whatever it is. Just one evening a week to yourself you’ll feel like a new woman.

alrightluv · 20/06/2024 22:26

I agree sign up for something out of the house. Anything. Photography class, art, just get out.

MrsElsa · 20/06/2024 22:22

Go out on your own. Let DH potter at home with the kids.

By spending a bit of time away from the house, not at work etc. You will start to naturally see things differently and be able to start making good changes. Take it slowly!

MavisPennies · 20/06/2024 22:22

Sounds like you're in a rut. Can you sign up for an evening class one night a week? DH could do the bedtime on his own one night and you could do the same for him?

Mumtoson123 · 20/06/2024 22:22

fannyschmeller · 20/06/2024 22:20

I don't have that many friends anymore, we are all in similar boats with family and work commitments. I do see them occasionally but it's once in a blue moon.

So what’s stopping you going on a walk in nature or having an evening to yourself once a week? You don’t need to see friends on your one evening a week you could literally do anything!

Original poster
fannyschmeller · 20/06/2024 22:20

I don't have that many friends anymore, we are all in similar boats with family and work commitments. I do see them occasionally but it's once in a blue moon.

OP posts:
Original poster
fannyschmeller · 20/06/2024 22:20

MummytoAAandX · 20/06/2024 22:14

We also try and ensure we have nice things planned for the weekend. We have a 6 year age gap between our eldest and middle child but now weather is nice it's easier. Can you and your partner/DH do something with one whilst you do something with the other?

We do try and do this but dh isn't the most dynamic, he's quite happy pottering at home at the weekend but it's exhausting for me with an 11 year old and 2 year old who just have such wildly different needs.
I promised myself that when the nice weather came we'd have walks in the evening but in reality I get home at 5, sort tea for the kids, then have about an hour to do all the household stuff, then it's the little ones bedtime. After that I suppose I could go the gym or something but I feel obliged to sit with the older one. He often has clubs etc so isn't fussed about doing much.
I'm just so fed up. I was just watching videos of people at Stonehenge for summer solstice thinking how nice it must be to be part of something, out in the world. My life feels so confined to this house.
And I can see myself falling into the rut, actively looking forward to a glass of wine in front of the TV when the kids are in bed. But it's doing me no good at all.

OP posts:
Mumtoson123 · 20/06/2024 22:18

Is there anything stopping you going out for one evening a week whilst DH does the evening and vice versa? My husband has an evening a week to go out with friends as do I, it really helps. You don’t need to both be there - having a break really is needed.

MummytoAAandX · 20/06/2024 22:14

We also try and ensure we have nice things planned for the weekend. We have a 6 year age gap between our eldest and middle child but now weather is nice it's easier. Can you and your partner/DH do something with one whilst you do something with the other?

fearfulexchange · 20/06/2024 22:13

I could have written that exact post, I know it will get better once the kids are older but it is mind numbing that everyday is on repeat,

MummytoAAandX · 20/06/2024 22:13

We got into a similar rut of the same routine of work and sorting children and then just sat in front of the TV all evening. We also have no family support. We have found a really lovely babysitter who put children lobe so we can have date nights and I have started to go the gym. I signed up with a pt and attend three classes a week. This works well as being booked in makes me go. I am really enjoying it and loving having something to positive to focus on which is about me and it means I'm not just sat in front of the TV every night.