Stepchildren and dirty washing. AIBU?

I've never understood this. Washing clothes is so easy. If you're putting a wash on just put all the washing that needs doing in the machine. It's no effort.

Everyone does the own washing here. Started at 11. They do it from A-Z. Do it badly they do it more.

He got a promotion at work so now he’s too busy to chuck clothes in the wash?
Nooe forget that, don’t become the house maid. He can do it, tell him you’re not and it’s his responsibility to either teach them or do it himself.

Then get yourself back to work. Is a pension being paid into for you from the household income aka his salary?

I don't understand the rationale for everyone doing separate washing. It seems a waste of electricity and chemicals.

Why don't they put the underwear into one of those net bags and it just gets thrown in.

I have a 16 year old he takes turns doing a couple of washes and as we use the net bags , to help avoid the missing socks there is no underwear drama.

Mine were doing their own at those ages.

It's fine for your DH to do their laundry but he needs to do it. If he wants to baby them then he babies them not you.

My children are 19 and 15. They’ve never been tasked with doing their own washing as such, but they both just put a wash on when needed, regardless of whose it is.

Bloody hell, your DH doesn't think much of his own offspring if he thinks using a washing machine is too much responsibility for them 🙄

My 11yr old has taken an interest in learning how to do her own laundry, so I'm showing her the ropes at the minute.

I moved out of my parents at 16yrs old, and learned how to use the washing machine immediately. There's no reason why a (assuming not disabled), 14yr old cannot learn how to do their own laundry.

This isn't your responsibility, just go ahead and teach them how to do it, and let them get on with it. They need to be proactive here, not expect to be waited on hand and foot.

14 and 17 year olds shouldn't be routinely doing their own washing and as your stepchildren, they are part of your family. If they were your biological children, would you be asking the same question?
If your husband feels so strongly and you don't want to do it, then your husband should make time after work

On mumsnet, people have their kids doing washing from when they are in primary school.

in real life, people wash their kids’ clothes. I have 2 older teens and I wash their clothes because I put on loads according to colour, not according to owner.

I think you should wash their clothes personally.

At 14 and 17 they are well able to do their own laundry. I can't believe they think their dad should come into their rooms, remove their laundry, wash and dry it and return it. That isn't real life at that age. Show them how to do a load of laundry. Show them how to remove blood stains. tell them they are in control of their own laundry. You are doing them a favour. I might give the 14 year old a bit of a break I suppose but the 17 year old is going to be off in college next year. who do they think will do their laundry then?

Oh also tell them if they remove clothes from the drier (if you have one) to put their own in, they must fold them. I'm thinking of putting a sign in my laundry room about this.

Also teach them how to cook a meal if they don't know how.

It doesn't matter whether you're mum or step mum, those kids are definitely old enough to be doing their own laundry, change and launder their bed linen and towels, vacuum and tidy their own bedrooms, cook simple family meals, iron their own clothes, and other light household tasks, ie bins, recycling etc.

How many changes of clothes do some people have to justify separate washes?

We have four adults in our household and excluding bedding have 3 - 5 loads per week (9kg machine).

At that age they should be doing it themselves. My children were and if a special top wasn't ready in time it taught to make sure it was next time

It really isn't. As OP says, everyone has enough clothes. I always wash a full load of my clothes only and others do the same.

For stained items - DSC should put the washer on a short cold rinse before washing.

Fixed it for you.

I will never understand households where everyone does their own washing, it strikes me as very inefficient.

Personally, I would have one person responsible for the washing, that's the easy bit but, if you don't want to take on the full workload, you could give them each a laundry basket with their wet clothes to hang outside / put on a clothes horse / in the dryer and then they can put them away themselves.

For stained items - put the washer on a short cold rinse before washing. Works a treat for most things - trick learnt from being a reusable nappy parent. 😊

Same. MN is ridiculous.

Other than pants with period blood on that might need an extra spray with the Vanish before being put in the machine - I don't exactly examine any underwear that needs washing.
I literally pick it up and chuck in the machine.
I really don't get the issue.

No shots fired here, sniff test makes total sense, I don't understand washing clothes after one wear unless they're smelly/dirty. Excepting underwear/socks.

Given the OP doesn’t wash her DH’s underwear, I don’t see why she should wash the stepkids’! Does her Dh not think she has enough to do with young dc too?

I think the key here is they are moaning. I happily wash my teems clothes, but they never complain. The moment they do, they can crack on.

My eldest was 16 when I told him to do it. Once he left school and clean uniform wasn't a priority.

Find a middle ground maybe? Wash uniform on a set day and they crack on with the rest?

Show them the fast wash. One blessing of washing my teens clothes was the sniff test. If looked and smelt clean I put it back in the wardrobe. Shoot me.

With respect, you have a DH problem. In some cultures, they'd be working at 17

I find your username at odds with your post 🤣

Posted too soon.

I've lived with 4 men in my life and after the first one I insisted on separate laundry baskets. I found that men tend to wait until they had no clean clothes and I tend to wash when I have a full load. First time round it meant I did all the washing in addition to most of the cooking and cleaning as well as having a full time job. I decided to draw the line at laundry and left them to do their own, none of them have complained because I worked too so they could hardly argue I had more time. I continued to do all the household laundry, just not their clothes.