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Original poster

DH shouldn’t “jokingly” blow out ds birthday candles

86 replies

Quibbledibble · 20/06/2024 19:15

DS7 has been very sick with stomach bug, started on his birthday so he hasn’t had birthday cake.
finally have his birthday cake with candles. Light them and sing happy birthday - DS all excited.
just as he’s about to blow them out, DH blows them out.
DS cries.
im fuming. AIBU
apparently this was a joke.

OP posts:
MrsGhastlyCrumb · 20/06/2024 20:28

TomatoSandwiches · 20/06/2024 19:19

He's been unwell, his father has been mean, it isn't babyish to be upset and cry over this.

Your husband is a twat.

This. He's only seven. Bit young to be taught to stuff down his emotions and live a life of misery living up to other people's expectations...

Cooliomayn · 20/06/2024 20:16

That’s awful for your poor DS, had to miss out on his birthday because he was ill only for his dad to steal his thunder. Birthdays are a big deal to little kids, of course that would be upsetting! Your DH is even more of a pillock since he’s ill and blown all over the cake 🙄

Aquamarine1029 · 20/06/2024 20:08

I can't stand anyone who behaves like this. I bet your husband is a "jokester" and a prankster and has a long history of doing stupid shite. I'd be more than annoyed.

Scribblydoo · 20/06/2024 20:04

Did DH apologise? Because it is important he does.

Emmerald · 20/06/2024 19:59

Aw your poor boy! Hope he's recovered now and had a great delayed birthday apart from your DH being a dick.
I remember my 7th birthday. My main present was a bible. 🙄

ARichtGoodDram · 20/06/2024 19:57

Quibbledibble · 20/06/2024 19:33

DH is the one ill at the moment. I’m the only one in the house that hasn’t had the bug… yet

That he’s currently ill makes him an even bigger knob than spoiling the moment for a 7yo (which is knobbish in the first place).

Most 7yos would cry at that imo, especially having had to wait until they were better for the moment.

BoredAuditor · 20/06/2024 19:56

Your dh is a muppet. And obviously very unthinking.

Blowing candles out is a once a year activity which your son has probably only done, and remembered, a couple of times before in his entire life.

Don't blame your son for being upset.

coldcallerbaiter · 20/06/2024 19:54

its not even funny, little children really want to do the song and candles.

Nouvellenovel · 20/06/2024 19:53

Well when it’s your dh’s birthday get your ds to wrap up a cabbage in a box and give him his surprise gift.
And then laugh - at dh, not with him.

Luckingfovely · 20/06/2024 19:50

Ridiculous and childish. I'm not certain I could co-parent with someone who had absolutely zero concern about his child's feelings or his family's welfare.

AtrociousCircumstance · 20/06/2024 19:48

What a cunt.

coxesorangepippin · 20/06/2024 19:47

That's shit

LakesideInn · 20/06/2024 19:44

It’s his birthday, his cake, his candles, his moment. You only get your birthday once a year and blowing out your candles on your cake is important when you’re 7. And 7 is not too old to be upset and cry when you’re upset.

Does your DH tease your DS like this a lot? And make him cry? And then say it was a joke and he shouldn’t cry? Keep an eye on that if so.

CorylusAgain · 20/06/2024 19:41

To all the "It's a joke" posters:
who makes their 7 year old the butt of a joke on their (rearranged) birthday?

Resilience to unwanted behaviour from others is unhealthy.

I hate practical jokes of all kinds. They rely on making someone else feel awkward, stupid or humiliated. I don't lack resilience or a sense of humour but practical jokers can fuck off.

sandstormsy · 20/06/2024 19:35

Horrible joke. Jokes should be fun for everyone, especially when children are involved.

Birthdays are such a big thing when you're little. You wait the whole year for this big day. The cake is the moment you have all the attention and singing and you get to blow out the candles and do the wish.

It's pretty horrible for your DH to make it all about him by blowing them out and taking that moment away.

CheeseyOnionPie · 20/06/2024 19:35

That’s really mean. Birthdays mean a lot to little kids and things like blowing out the candles are a huge part of it because it’s their moment. It’s not the same being the second one to blow them out after they’ve been re-lit because the moment is gone.
It’s bad enough when one of your siblings does it but your own dad? Bastard.

Also, resilience?? He’s 7 ffs.

Original poster
Quibbledibble · 20/06/2024 19:35

They were relit. DS did blow them out the second time.
no one else found it funny

OP posts:
Original poster
Quibbledibble · 20/06/2024 19:33

DH is the one ill at the moment. I’m the only one in the house that hasn’t had the bug… yet

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 20/06/2024 19:30

OMG it was a joke. Just light the candles again for DS.

xyz111 · 20/06/2024 19:29

Did he blow them out so your DS didn't blow potential germs over the cake?

Theeyeballsinthesky · 20/06/2024 19:28

are the old “god it was a joke!!!” implying that you are miserable & humourless for not finding his behaviour totally hilarious

he’s a cunt to do that to his son and if he can’t see that then 🤷🏻‍♀️

PrueRamsay · 20/06/2024 19:25

What a cunt

SundayTulips · 20/06/2024 19:25

Hatty65 · 20/06/2024 19:17

It was a bit silly of your DH, but the kind of daft 'dad' joke that they think is funny (and isn't really) Obviously DS has been poorly - but it's really babyish to cry at 7 at something this trivial. He's not a toddler.

Light the candles again and let him blow them out.

I agree. Maybe as he’d been unwell, but doesn’t show much resilience to cry at this (unfunny but not mean) joke.

Surely they could have just been relit?

Its2024happynewyear · 20/06/2024 19:23

Hatty65 · 20/06/2024 19:17

It was a bit silly of your DH, but the kind of daft 'dad' joke that they think is funny (and isn't really) Obviously DS has been poorly - but it's really babyish to cry at 7 at something this trivial. He's not a toddler.

Light the candles again and let him blow them out.

It's his 7th birthday. He hasn't been well. I think it's understandable for him to feel disappointed and be upset that his dad stole his big moment.

However, I also agree that id not be letting anyone blow the candles out when there's been a stomach bug in the house 🫣

eyesum · 20/06/2024 19:23

I would be so so sooo annoyed.
I hope that's out of character for him/just a thoughtless moment

Awful that pp said it's babyish to cry at 7!
It's fine for anyone to cry, including boys and grown men