To expect my working from home to be respected

There's a massive difference between "tiptoeing" round someone, and bursting in several times for no apparent reason. Nobody "tiptoes" round me when I wfh, equally they don't burst into the room because why on earth would they?

It sounds like he resents you being there all day. If I had an adult lodger, I’d stipulate that they couldn’t work from home except in emergencies. It just alters the dynamic somehow and I’d want my house to feel like a home rather than a workplace. Things have changed now so everyone is at home more - I wouldn’t mind my SC living with me until they were much older but I would expect the to spend most of their time out with friends or at work, it would get a bit much otherwise. Could you try to speak to your dad to get a compromise? He probably isn’t aware of newer working practices.

I really don't get this if you're just in a room in the house? I just tell my child and husband not to come in but they can use the rest of the house perfectly fine?

I agree with your Dad that if you work from home you can't expect people to not interact with you in some ways sometimes and if this is a big problem for you you should go work in an appropriate work space. I think this idea that our homes have to become someone's work space and we just have to tip toe around them working such nonsense and one of the worst things to come out of the pandemic.

Put the desk in your bedroom.

Wfh is really disruptive to anyone else in the household. I wfh which is usually fine as nobody else is home but ds has just finished his A levels and dd will be back from uni soon so I will be trying to organise more office days over the summer.
Talk to him about when you can’t be disturbed and when it’s ok for him to come in, ask how he suggests managing it.

Your dad is a horrible selfish man. However I think your best bet is to find somewhere else to live fast, as I don't think you will change him.

It wasn't an office, it was used for storage, her dad built her desk so she could use it as an office

Can you lock the door when on calls?

I’m in two minds on this - Your DF has been rude and inconsiderate. But you taking over the office for your work could also be seen that way if it was done without discussion. People working from home is an inconvenience for the rest of the household during that work time, especially if the space they are using is a shared space. When you were offered the WFH position, did you discuss with your parents that you would need more of their house to yourself more of the time and come to an agreement about what that would look like? It sounds like you fell into the routine of working from home before your DF retired and now he has the costs of you doing so have manifest and he doesn’t like it?

His approach to the issue seems pretty childish so I wonder if he’s normally prone to being an ass when he wants his own, is really struggling with retirement (very common), or if you’ve long passed your welcome living at home anyway and he thinks you should have moved out quite some time ago?

You'll get lots of "his house, his rules" responses but I don't know anyone who would treat their adult child like this. Most of us want our adult children to do well and thrive. It's not hard to work around someone needing an uninterrupted space if you actually have any respect for what they are doing. Your dad is childish, spiteful and weird.

There wasn't. I was giving advice to avoid future boundary crossing scenarios. Many people give their parents or family members a set of keys and soon regret it.

Is OP in the bedroom when the dad bursts in?

Completely unreasonable of your father. It's his home but it would be basic courtesy to knock and wait. I guess he still thinks of you as a child doing children's things, not a proper job.

All the people telling you to "just" move out - it's not 20 years ago when there was a good supply of affordable housing. If you were my DD I'd be proud that you're a manager and trying to save for your first flat, not undermining you!

I get your workplace might jot have enough desks but you need to raise this with them. I'm sure something could be worked out, for example asking if someone wants to volunteer to work from home for a few days to allow you the space. This is your wellbeing issue.

Yes, your dad's being a disrespectful knob, but who is more likely to shift, work or dad? You need dad for a home right now. It's either talk to work or move out now.

And to everyone sticking the boot in about why she's living there, you don't know her circumstances so maybe a little thought before you pile on

@footballinthepub You say you work locally therefore there is no available workspace. I suggest ask locally - and you may well be surprised. A gentleman in our road has a business space in the next door village, he allows others to use the space for very little cost, and welcomes half the village when there is a village wide broadband outing/power cut. However you have to be in the know to know as it's not advertised space - so it is worth asking about.

This in spades, I can't actually believe some of the replies on here!

He is being an arse, I'd work from the bedroom if you can't rent somewhere for a while.

This is giving me flashbacks of living back at home for a few months in my 20s when I was buying. Before mobiles, one phone in kitchen - trying to speak to friends for maybe 10 minutes, so closing the door for privacy. My dad would always choose to come in and be busy in the kitchen, no need for it except he hated me closing the door.

And my mum walking into my bedroom each morning to get clothes from the cupboard in there, and thinking it was ok to try and go in the bathroom while I was in the bath.

Thank fuck I could move out pretty rapidly. Zero boundaries.

I do hope some of the people with the 'my house, my rules' way of thinking never need to move into their childrens' houses when they are very elderly.

I can't imagine my dad ever behaving like this if I was in the same situation. I would respect that I was working in his home but equally he would understand that I was at work and would knock before entering a room. But he's not an entitled arse.

Is your mum around? Can you get her onside to get your dad back in his box?

She is behaving like one? It's her dad acting like a petulant child.

Op clearly says she's putting offers in on flats. What else can she actually do?

If it was my adult-aged child at home, trying to buy a house and working, I'd be supportive of their job and encourage a system to know when it's okay to come in and when not (e.g door open/closed). Of course it wouldn't be ideal but if I didn't want to live around another adult, then I shouldn't have extended the offer.

I absolutely would not be sabotaging their job.

For you OP, I'd move the desk into your bedroom and consider a lock for the door (maybe something temporary like you can buy for travelling).

Nah I’d have to move out. Widen your search area, look for shared places, shared ownership / I’d do whatever it took rather than live with an ignorant twerp like that. He has no respect for his own daughter all because it’s ’his House his rules’ 🤮

I have an adult DS living at home who changed jobs 12 months ago to one which means he now works from home virtually every day. I offered him the use of our 'office' room but he declined and said he'd work from his bedroom. I never disturb him when he is working. He shuts his door as he starts work and I only see him when he comes out for his lunch. I don't even hoover on the landing outside his room when he's working. If he'd chosen to use our office room I would have similarly kept out of the way. If, by chance, I'd needed something out of there whilst he was working I'd have messaged him to ask when I could pop in. No way would I have barged in.

Your DF clearly doesn't want you working from home but as you have very little choice until you move out then he needs to learn to put up with it.