Boyfriend wants to move in

Having a two bed offers an easy solution if the other bedroom is spare (rather than used by you as an office).

Rent the second room to him with a lodger agreement and include bills (not food shopping though). He can keep all his stuff in there. You can see on spareroom.com what market rate is and decide whether you want to ask less than that. Or work out the outgoings and charge him half. If it is under £625/month you don't have to pay tax but that must include bills and the room must be furnished. He pays you set amount each month and if it goes well you can re-assess the situation, maybe buying a place together. If it doesn't you just need to give him 1 month's notice. All maintenance costs, e.g. lightbulbs, getting plumber in, should be paid by you.

Lodger Agreement (spareroom.co.uk)

HS223 Rent a Room Scheme (2024) - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

I agree with dear old Dad.
You are too young to let a relationship change how you own your own place.
I would respond by living together part of the week or living together in a rental. I would also strongly let it be known that after a year living happily together you will be expecting a committment or you will be moving back out.
Nothing wrong with being engaged, then married and then having a family, in that order, as it gives pleenty of time to work out clear legal boundaries and responsibilities etc.

Similar situation here a few years ago.

Do not put him on the mortgage right now!!!

I had a property which although mortgaged, I had from age 18 and had significant equity in.

My situation occured when I was getting married and I didn't want to run the risk of losing what I had before the marriage.

A solicitor helped me and DH draw up a deed of trust, which meant that I owned x amount of the house (or percentage if preferred) and that would remain mine regardless of what ever happened in the marriage.

We put in another clause that my DH would pay x amount of mortgage/household costs per month which equated to x percentage/amount should we split.

Essentially, a decent solicitor can draw something up for you for around £250. Don't run the risk of being financially screwed over.

Interestingly the boyfriend has phrased it as 'moving in together' when really he means him moving in on YOU.
A little bit of a smoke screen to conceal his true intentions . . .
he thinks he's found his golden goose!! Now he just has to sweet talk you until he's got his feet firmly under the table and you have no choice but to carry on laying golden eggs for him.

I was in a very similar position as you - 2 bed house bought in my twenties, with money I inherited after my Dad died. A boyfriend moved in with me after about a year of being together. I absolutely did not put him on the mortgage and would advise you don't. Keep finances separate. There is no reason to merge them. I just asked for half the bills and council tax. He was able to save up as his outgoings were less now that he wasn't renting, and I retained my asset. Win win.

We split up after six months of living together as it was, and it was a simple and easy split becuase we had completely separate finances.

Listen to your dad.

Lol @ him offering to live with you, as if that would be him doing you a favor !
Ha🤣
Ha🤣
Ha🤣

Do you actually want him to move in? Would it make you happier?

Your dad is right. Do as pps have suggested and get legal advice and any agreements drawn up by a solicitor.

I'm being a pedant I know but everyone saying don't put him on the mortgage...

The mortgage is the debt liability.
The title is the ownership. They are two different things.

Don’t move him in OP.

Have learnt a lesson

But that's why I asked for an indication of the figures, so we can find out what's fair.

OP's mortgage could be £400pm for all we know.

I think try getting the facts before calling things ridiculous.

My dad has told me, under no circumstances, to put him on the mortgage

^

Your dad is right

See a solicitor and don't do anything until you have.

Big No from me and your Dad is right
You've only been together for 15 months which is so short a time to consider such a big step
He has asked to move in because it's convenient for him
Please step back and consider his possible motive
Yes, I haven't learnt a lesson!
I have my own property and it's staying that way!

I bet he wants to move in with you! Feet under the table, nice and cosy.

I might sound cynical but this would benefit him far more than you. For now I would be cautious and maybe leave it another year and see how you feel. MN is littered with posts on a regular basis of women who realise they’ve been lumbered with a cock lodger. Not saying your boyfriend is one, but I would be careful.

I’d definitely see a solicitor and don’t put him on the mortgage or have him pay towards that or home improvements. Drawing up and signing a cohabitation agreement wouldn’t hurt. I’d get him to pay a little more food/bills/holidays etc to make up for the fact he’s living rent free. I’d also ask him to save so that you can afford to buy together (ring fencing your higher contribution) in future.

Don't put him on the mortgage.

Have a think about how much you spend on food and bills and what would be a fair proportion for him to pay. You could ask him to pay half the bills and then maybe contribute more towards things like food or petrol to account for the fact that he's not paying rent.

He should then be saving the extra money he's not spending on rent.

If you sit down with him and go through the finances you can figure out how much he should be paying towards bills and how much he will save each month as a result. That should give you an idea of how long it would take him to save up a deposit so you could potentially buy a place together if you're still a couple in a few years' time.

Think about it this way. You both currently have your own space, and you would be consolidating into a shared space. That means each of you has less space than before, so it should be costing each of you less than before.

You should see a financial benefit to him living with you because you'll now have someone to split the bills with. He should see a financial benefit to living with you because he won't be paying to privately rent his own place. But the mortgage should remain your responsibility because you are the homeowner and the two of you are not yet at a stage in your relationship where you are ready to pool your finances and jointly own property.

Think about where you'd like to be in five years' time. If you're no longer with this man you don't want to have kept him for free for however long, with no financial benefit to you. You certainly don't want him to have any kind of claim on your property. So you want your property to remain yours alone, and for you to have had some sort of financial benefit in the form of reduced bills and shared living costs. If you are still with this man then presumably by then you will want to upgrade to a more expensive property which you can jointly own. This means he will need to have a deposit so he can match your contribution, so it will benefit you as well if he is able to save the money he isn't spending on rent during this time. If he doesn't save it, it will be clear that buying a property with you as an equal partner isn't a priority for him.

This is exactly the sort of response I was expecting more of. It's ridiculous. So you limit your risk but continue with significant financial outlay. While he has zero risk and significant financial savings. This is not a compromise. this is 100% benefiting him and not OP.

Minimising risk can be done without necessarily having to take a financial hit.

H

Honestly, just date men until you meet the one you know you're going to marry.

British men have got a terrible reputation for using women they live with.

DO NOT PUT HIM ON THE MORTGAGE. PLEASE!

He should contribute more towards bills and socials to make up for the fact that he is not paying rent. That's it.

Even if you marry, if you are the higher earner and are bringing in more cash, protect yourself in those first few years until things even out.

The whole "one pot" thing doesn't work when you're young and there is a big income disparity.

Things change over time once kids come in and more years go by.

Please learn from my mistakes.

How much is his rent pm?
How much is your mortgage pm?
How much are your bills pm?

Perhaps a compromise if that he pays half the bills (including food shop).

That way, he can save towards his own property (or a future joint property with you).

And you can ensure he has no claim on your property.

Nothing less than this.

I had this exact situation (with my now husband). We just talked honestly about it, I continued paying the mortgage, we split bills and he put the exact same amount of mortgage into a savings account. We've just bought a house together now and the money in that savings account went to deposit :)