Boyfriend wants to move in

This would be my approach, I would pretend I assumed that was what he meant.
No way is that what he wants!!
He sees a situation where he's much worse off than OP is and he wants some of what she's got for himself. If they moved into rented together then he'll be in a slightly better situation (lower rent & bills) than he was, but SHE will be better off than him because she'll have her rental income and lower bills. That will leave him even more resentful that a woman has a better life than he does.
Start a discussion along those lines OP and watch him try to wriggle & spin it into what he wants.

You'll be fine, just don't marry him or put him on the mortgage unless/until you're way down the line and he can contribute equally to you.

See how he reacts if you suggest renting a place together and splitting everything 50/50 whilst you rent your place out.

I suspect that will tell you whether he is on the make or not.

Do you even want to live with this man? No harm in saying you aren’t ready, happy to review if you are still together in a years time…

well, your original message suggested a "compromise" is that he pays half the bills. There was no suggestion that he pays more of the bills so perhaps that was implied and I didn't get. In which case I guess in tihs very specific situation of a tiny mortgage, him paying MORE of the bills might work. But even the, I think it would have to be that he ALSO had a very small rent to make this even vaguely feasible. As otherwise, he's still saving a good chunk on bills AND all his previous rent.

Men are such vile creatures.

Don’t put him on the mortgage
if you buy in in the future you can still protect your deposit / equity with a deed of trust

if you get married then fair enough that would change things

He would do exceptionally well if you put him on the deeds / mortgage now and you split up in three years or so plus it would be money that your dad gave you ( (deposit ) so as a parent I wouldn’t be happy if my hard earned gift was going to benefit someone else

hr could depending on what you do walk away with 50 percent of your equity / deposit

I would work out what a lodger would cost
so say a lodger cost 600 a month
i would get him to save 300 in say a joint savings account that you both have access to

and give you say 300 towards bills
That way you know he is saving and your getting money towards bills /

If you don’t split up then you both have a decent size deposit to the next property

if he doesn’t save then you know he just wants a free ride and home

my son has a 100k deposit
which he used to buy a house with his partner who put in 0 amount
his deposit is protected by a deed of trust
So if they split they only share the equity

you could also work out how much your interest is and get him to pay that so he’s not paying towards the repayment part of your mortgage

so if your mortgage is 1k and interest is 400
you could get him to pay 400 and then say 200 towards bills

dont fall for the “well your paying for it now so why should I pay as you can already afford it “

That’s categorically untrue

@Fantafruit We had this exact same situation. They moved in and paid towards the bills (council tax, electric, water etc) and also towards food etc. I paid mortgage and when we decided to buy together I sold and we put equal deposit etc.

keep things separate for the time being and see how the living together goes. If I a year or 2s time you want to take the next step then look to buy together.

Once he’s been living in your house for a period of time he’ll be entitled to a share of it so no chance

How serious would you say the relationship is? This is very important. Unfortunately there are men out there who effectively target women homeowners and live off them. I'm nearly 60 now, it happened to me because I was too trusting and naive, I've seen it happen to plenty of other women too sadly.

You need to have some difficult conversations with him to decide if you're financially compatible or not, and find out exactly what his financial situation is. Hopefully not all fancy clothes, rented flat and flashy car on finance with nothing in the bank.

Your dad is absolutely right, and definitely agree with seeing a solicitor for advice and a cohabitation agreement before him moving in.

Boyfriends can come and go so do not put him on your mortgage.

Equally, be wary and always protect yourself. What if he moved in and 6 months later you decide he's not the one for you. How do u kick him out then? Where will he go? How soon can he move out? If he has a lodger agreement then u can't dissolve the agreement until end of the term/contract. Wot if you break up part way through the contract and he leaves the place in a mess or worse still, start bringing random girls home? 18 months is not a long time, especially when u may have a lifetime together.

When I dated my then husband, he had his own place and I had mine (we both owned our own apartments) and we stayed over at each other's places for a few years. He tended to stay at mine as it was more homely. We both paid our own bills for our own properties. But at least we had a chance of experiencing living together (ish) to see if it would work out.

He's got more to gain and you have more to lose. Tread slowly and carefully. Seek legal advice. Or alternatively, do nothing and keep the status quo and just continue dating as you are and he come and stay the night occasionally. Maybe draw up a contract between you and dad, that a % of the house belongs to your dad, based upon his gift, which is now a loan.

I like the earlier suggestion that he is a lodger with his own bedroom ... aother way is that the amount of mortgage you have is irrelevant; find out how much it would cost if you both rented the house and charge him half of that. Plus half of all bills.

Your father is right.
I would be very careful.
Suggest you move into his flat and pay half and rent yours out.
See how he responds to thus.
Women have a tendency to be very naive when it comes to protecting themselves, unlike men.
I would move forward with great care.
He has little savings, what are his prospects?
Be careful they aren't a well paid girlfriend with savings and a home of her own...

DD is a high earner and bought out her ex’s share of the house when they divorced. Six months into her current relationship and I suspect the low-earning boyfriend will be moving in before long. I know she would refuse to read this thread and insists she knows best.

Good luck OP and don’t make any big decisions under pressure from someone who stands to benefit a lot more than you do from his plan.

Do not put him on the mortgage or title of your house! Your father is trying to protect you. See a solicitor who specializes in property for advice.

But that's why I asked for an indication of the figures involved! If he's making a significant saving on rent then perhaps he pays more towards the bills.

Tell him that you would prefer to move in with him and split the bills as he wants to live with you so much.

Rent out your house and save any profit.

Listen to your Dad - he knows what your boyfriend is up to.

I think it’s a shame to not live together purely because one of you owns a house, and so there is potential risk. You just need to protect yourself.

I would say £ amounts aren’t particularly relevant. You continue paying the full mortgage. BF pays you half of what he currently pays rent. You split all bills.

He benefits from half rent and half bills
You benefit from lower mortgage and half bills

You have the long term benefit of capital appreciation and secure housing.

If it’s in your sole name, it will be hard for him to claim an interest even if he pays you, unless he can point to an agreement between you to share ownership. If you put him on the mortgage (and therefore also on the title because he’d presumably not agree to be on it without that) it would be presumed he owned a half share unless you have a deed of trust to say otherwise.
If you can’t afford a cohabitation agreement, get him to put in writing to you via email or something with his signature on it that he has no legal interest in your home. Additionally make sure all payments to the mortgage come from your sole account. That way you should be okay. The problems would come if you have any discussions where you tell him it’s half his or that he will build up a share over time or where he pays your mortgage directly from his own account.

So? Her mortgage is £400. And his rent is £800. So she continues to pay the mortgage, he doesn't pay rent, and they split the bills 50/50. Arguably that's worse - he's still saving much more than her in both absolute and proportional terms.

Barring him being on minimum wage and in huge debt, while OP is a high earner, I just cannot see a situation where this works out so that they both benefit more or less equally, by any metric, if he only pays towards bills. And it drives me mad that this is so often suggested as a solution.

So this situation happened but the other way round

My boyfriend had mortgage and I wasn’t in a position to afford mortgage or a deposit to own home together.

He didn’t put me on mortgage (I wouldn’t have accepted anyway) and instead we halved all bills and food shopping.

You could have an agreement that is similar and that boyfriend saves x amount a month as your deposit for when you move in together.

Please do not put him on mortgage, if anything was to happen you’d be financially screwed.

We put in another clause that my DH would pay x amount of mortgage/household costs per month which equated to x percentage/amount should we split.

That's interesting, what was the purpose of this? Was it to give you a period of adjustment so you could cover the mortgage on your own if you split?

1. If you accept rent from him, you will be leaving yourself open to a claim on your property in the event of a split (if no other legal agreement like lodger was in place)
2. Do not put him on the mortgage - it might last longer than this relationship and the value in having your own property and the security that brings for you as a women is much more valuable.
3. See a solicitor to talk about a Living Together Agreement. It's a legal document which you both sign which covers things like he gives up all rights to claim on your property, and as part of that does not pay towards maintenance etc. Very useful in the case of a relationship breakdown and any challenge on your property.

Do NOT put your house at risk until you are long down the road together and seriously committed. I listened to my Mum about that, did all the above, and it's served me VERY well.

Do you even want to live with him??

Because you don’t have to if you don’t want to.

If you want him to move in, have a solicitor draft a lodgers agreement for your specific circumstances and don’t let him put any money into your house.

Are you ready for him to move in? A year isn't long really.

I'm a bit wary because he's asked you, rather than you have together made the decision.

What is he like with finances? Does he have any debt? Does he pay his rent regularly. Is he fair about paying his way when he visits/stays over?

Is he tidy? Does he have a lot of stuff? When he stays over does he clear up after himself? Do you have the storage room/space for his stuff?

I really enjoyed living alone, even though it was financially difficult - it gives you a space to go back to which is all your own if you're having a bad day/ had an argument/ when you just don't want other people around.

Do you want the compromise of someone else making choices about your home/what happens in it?

Only do this is you would prefer to live with someone else rather than alone - not for his convenience or because he wants to or it saves him money.