Teenage daughter being disrespectful?

I have the impression it's her stepdad - OP says 'my OH' rather than her dad. Not sure. Either way she is being a brat and needs to grow up or make her own way to school. No patience with sulkers in my household.

Teenagers pull faces at all sorts of things and are famously ungrateful. Really not that big a deal.

Why doesn't she make her own way? My DS has made his own way to school since he was 11. I wouldn't want my life dictated by school runs at secondary school age!

Is she even being rude though? She's allowed emotions and preferences and an unexpected change of plan would make alot of us pull a face. Many teens don't want to be around their mum's boyfriends. Even if she has her air pods in being in your vicinity is enough for her. She prefers you, that's nice and as it should be.

It doesn't sound like she is verbally being rude to him, she's a teenager not a mini adult and still has lots of developing to do. Teenagers aren't grateful, because it's their norm.

Lazy cow. Kids are too mollycoddled these days. Unless she is being bullied, she is being unreasonable

You remind me a bit of my own mum. She cut me absolutely no slack on ‘bad’ behaviour and for years it affected the way I expressed myself. Didn’t dare pull a face or be cheeky (god forbid).

How awful for you @JMSA

Do you wish that you had nipped their behaviour in the bud before it deteriorated?

Crikey, I wish this was the worst mine did

Of course you’re not! She’s bloody lucky to get a lift in, definitely she should bus back.

Get the bus. End of. let her walk to the bus-stop.

If she doesn't want to walk and misses school, ring the school and tell them she is too lazy to move her arse. Whatever her money supply is, and I imagine it's you, cut it off-this will help to focus her mind.

You've pandered to her-you've got your thanks for it. Change tack. These are known as consequences and it is a pretty valuable lesson for a girl who says she doesn't want to work after school.. Lazy. Nip it in the bud.

Don't listen to those who come out with a load of soft shite soap-it's you who will be dealing with it when this attitude ruins her life, not them.

She's pulled a face. This is a mere nothing compared with what she could be doing or what might be to come. Pick your battles - this is not one of them.

If she had cussed and sworn then a response might be appropriate - otherwise let it wash by you.

She is entitled to her feelings about it - she expressed them in a non-aggressive way. Teenagers are awash with feelings - they need some outlet.

And which 15 year old has a life plan? I still didn't have one at 50! - she said she doesn't want to work, she hates people - something is troubling her. She needs your support; she needs you onside. And she needs to have some choices - teenagers feel very impotent - their bodies are rebelling, their hormones are rebelling, people are nagging them to achieve, they have little power over their lives - it is a bloody hard time. Be onside with her - show her you understand how hard it can be at her age. And be very careful not to invite conflict - it is easily done when you are feeling disgruntled with her underneath.

Tell her you love her - give her a hug.

It is not clear whether your OH is her father - I do think that makes a difference in light of her response.

Your DD would hate living here. My DDs are expected to walk themselves to and from school from Y6. Expected to pack their own lunches from Y4. Expected to do housework and chores.

I'd be telling her to dial back the attitude or no lifts at all. I have no time for disrespect particularly when she is receiving a favour.

My youngest is almost 17 and is harder work now than she was as a toddler and baby combined!

YABU for being her taxi then being shocked that she complains when that routine changes, YANBU about the disrespectful attitude.

@Vizella how is she being treated like a mug?

Is he her dad? Maybe she doesn't like being alone with him. My mother used to palm me off on my stepfather all the time and I hated it.

In these circumstances I'd tell her that her comments were noted and from then on she could get the bus on the OH dropping days.

Smile and nod and say, ok no worries get the bus today then, have a lovely day.

And insist on a thank you for each drop off or collection.

Why should OP be treated like a complete mug by her own daughter who has it so easy and yet does nothing but complain?

If that was me, I would let her make her own way to school from the age of 11 onwards by taking public transport.

I’d just laugh and say, “you can roll your eyes all you like missy, but it’s the 2 minute walk or the bus - and you might find the 2 minute walk option disappears if you’re rude about that.”
Then move on.
I couldn’t get too bothered about a 15yo not knowing their life plan though.
It’s a difficult age!

Its simple teenage lazyitis - you normally take her, she's comfortable with that. If you don't take her then she has to go to all that effort to walk 2 more minutes, the tragedy! Depending on where you live, how easy it is to get to school, I'd let her get herself there and back at 15, not to punish her and show her she should be grateful (although that is a bonus) but at that age she does need to know how to go about getting places without help or she'll have a nightmare when she has to.

She is being a typical teenager. Smile and nod.

@ShouldhavebeencalledAppollo that's what I thought, too. I hated having to be around my mother's boyfriends, especially as a teenager.

Lacking gratitude for any lifts isn’t on.

expressing a bit of displeasure because you will have to walk further, isn’t a massive deal imo. Especially in the scheme of things.

She has a fairly easy ride of it, but feels put out when it’s a bit harder. Think that’s fairly normal. Plenty of people feel a bit put out and also know they are unreasonable.

Just say to her ‘if you don’t want him to take you, you can get yourself there instead’, she will soon realise she is being daft.

Not everything needs to be a battle.

The only other thing I would say is how does she get in generally with your OH, normally? I assume she isn’t his as you call him your OH and say he drops her off for you.

Could she feel a bit weird about her mums boyfriend driving her to school and but she is saying it’s the walk instead?

She is being ridiculous and you're allowing it giving her multiple options. You're the adult, she doesn't get to call the shots. She's lucky she gets a lift, mine gets dropped off each day but if she complained about a 2 min walk she could find her own way there.