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AIBU?

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6 year child - stranger talking about her penis

434 replies

hermenmumster · 20/06/2024 09:58

Trigger warning : sensitive topic around Gender Identity

I was at a work event (private garden - bring family along deal) and someone there is a transgender woman- she was tall, bearded ,hirsuite and wearing a dress and heels.
My daughter (6) was roaming around with the other kids and i think must have asked the lady why she was wearing a dress.
She explained that she ´was born a man with a willy , and is now a lady ’

Something jarred in me about a grown person talking about gentalia to a 6 year old child.
What does the mumsnet think?
AIBU to be annoyed?

OP posts:
Verv · 20/06/2024 11:15

A man was talking to your 6 year old about his penis.

Apologies, just condensing the story.

Shan5474 · 20/06/2024 11:12

I think it’s a clear and kind of engaging way to explain the issue to a child in one sentence. They probably assumed you had openly discussed the existence of genitalia to your child.
Is it that this person was talking about their penis in particular or that they mentioned penises at all? For example if your child had gone up to a man and asked about genders, and the man said “they are women born with willies” vs him saying “I’m a man and I have a willy”

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 20/06/2024 11:11

I'd probably explain it as "That person's mummy obviously never explained the pants are private body safety rules. How did that person make you feel? Uncomfortable and not good? Hmmm... I think that might have been a tricky person, let's steer clear of them. Well done for trusting your gut."

MessyHouseHappyHouse · 20/06/2024 11:06

KreedKafer · 20/06/2024 10:55

LOL at responses from people who actually believe this is a thing that genuinely happened.

I’d say it was highly likely to have happened given how many vile men now openly parade their perversions in public for the attention.

A genuine Transwoman would not be seen in public unshaven and wearing a dress. They desperately want to pass as a woman. Blokes with a fetish on the other hand….

I agree about reporting to the Police. Is he a work colleague? If so, I’d be reporting him to HR too.

Italianita · 20/06/2024 10:58

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KreedKafer · 20/06/2024 10:55

LOL at responses from people who actually believe this is a thing that genuinely happened.

Okayornot · 20/06/2024 10:54

Oh fgs, this person is man who likes wearing women's clothes. There are trans women who try to loom like women and I don't think many of them would talk about their genitals to a child. I suspect this person looks like man but wears women's clothes so he can say weird and inappropriate things. In looking as he does he is inviting engagement from confused children.
I would suspect him of getting off on it and would not be happy.

CocoapuffPuff · 20/06/2024 10:53

A simple "I like dresses, they make me feel pretty" would suffice. Wonder why willies were mentioned?

Italianita · 20/06/2024 10:50

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Gakpo · 20/06/2024 10:45

Not unreasonable.

Its perfectly possible to explain why a dress was being worn without referring to a penis, especially to a 6 year old.

IncognitoUsername · 20/06/2024 10:44

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You really think the police are going to come and speak to this person? When they don’t have the resources to investigate when a real crime has happened?

MarkWithaC · 20/06/2024 10:42

Did you actually hear this man saying this? Only asking as obviously young children might relay things wrong.
Assuming the answer is yes, I would definitely look askance at an adult (of whichever sex and in any sort of clothes) using genitalia words to a child unless it made sense/was necessary in the context.

Italianita · 20/06/2024 10:41

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Idontjetwashthefucker · 20/06/2024 10:40

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Not one person has said it's acceptable have they? But what do you expect the police to do?

Italianita · 20/06/2024 10:37

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ASighMadeOfStone · 20/06/2024 10:37

IAmAnAdultHumanFemale · 20/06/2024 10:36

I wouldn't be saying to my child now she's a woman either seeing as that's an impossibility.

Me neither.

IAmAnAdultHumanFemale · 20/06/2024 10:36

I wouldn't be saying to my child now she's a woman either seeing as that's an impossibility.

ASighMadeOfStone · 20/06/2024 10:33

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I don't disagree that the transwoman was doing it for effect.

Italianita · 20/06/2024 10:31

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IncognitoUsername · 20/06/2024 10:19

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I’m not sure using the word Willy is a criminal offence. Might be morally wrong but I don’t think the police would be in a hurry to investigate this one.

AgentJohnson · 20/06/2024 10:18

OP, I wish you'd have contacted the police and reported this adult for talking about private parts to your child.

Oh FFS!

Needmorelego · 20/06/2024 10:17

The person could have simply said "I'm wearing a dress because I like dresses".
6 year olds don't need to know details (neither do adults to be honest).
Who was this person in relation to the event?
Work colleagues or family member?
If work colleague - tell them clearly NOT to ever talk to your child about that again.
If a work colleagues family member - the same thing but via your colleague.

KimberleyClark · 20/06/2024 10:17

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No, surely not.

ThreeEggOmlette · 20/06/2024 10:16

I dunno, how would you feel about a tall, bearded , hirsuite man in chinos and a shirt talking to her about his willy?

Why would your reactions be different?

In the interests of balance - did you actually hear the person say this or is this a 6yo adding their own flourish to ' I was born a boy & now I'm a lady'?

ASighMadeOfStone · 20/06/2024 10:16

Two wrongs don't make a right.

The transwoman had no need to talk to a 6 year old about penises.

The 6 year old should be told it's rude to ask such personal questions.

(I'm GC)