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AIBU?

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6 year child - stranger talking about her penis

434 replies

hermenmumster · 20/06/2024 09:58

Trigger warning : sensitive topic around Gender Identity

I was at a work event (private garden - bring family along deal) and someone there is a transgender woman- she was tall, bearded ,hirsuite and wearing a dress and heels.
My daughter (6) was roaming around with the other kids and i think must have asked the lady why she was wearing a dress.
She explained that she ´was born a man with a willy , and is now a lady ’

Something jarred in me about a grown person talking about gentalia to a 6 year old child.
What does the mumsnet think?
AIBU to be annoyed?

OP posts:
hermenmumster · 20/06/2024 13:32

DragonGypsyDoris · 20/06/2024 13:27

Her penis?

You know what i am trying to do..i am trying not to offend anyone

OP posts:
hermenmumster · 20/06/2024 13:30

JusteanBiscuits · 20/06/2024 13:00

If it's a colleague, why are you not reporting it to work, especially if they work with the public? Inappropriate behaviour needs to be raised with them and it was in a work environment, so reporting this to your management is the obvious thing to do, surely?

Because I was tying myself up in knots about appearing transphobic . I still am, and haven't taken action. It is a government organisation - very keen on Stonewall index.
I guess that is why i am on here - a genuine AIBU , and this thread has really helped solidify my thoughts

OP posts:
AndiOliversGlasses · 20/06/2024 13:29

AGlinnerOfHope · 20/06/2024 13:25

@AndiOliversGlasses the man himself said he was born a boy with a Willy and now he's a lady.

What else could he mean?

That he likes to dress like a lady, same way as a girl in an Elsa frock says “I’m a princess”?
He didn't specify that said willy had been removed I don’t think?

FOJN · 20/06/2024 13:28

AGlinnerOfHope · 20/06/2024 13:23

Sadly your link to Alex Drummond doesn't show on the app. He's a good looking bloke regardless of how he dresses. Boils my piss that he claims he's a woman. Expanding the definition of woman, my arse.

He's a lesbian no less!!!!?

IdgieThreadgoodeIsMyHeroine · 20/06/2024 13:27

RedRobyn2021 · 20/06/2024 12:48

I mean, that wouldn't bother me. It's the truth, what are they supposed to say?

Talking about things openly is the best way with kids IMO

It's also the truth that women generally find it easier to orgasm from clitoral rather than vaginal stimulation, and that many men enjoy prostate stimulation- are you out there telling 6 year olds that?

Fucking hell, there are some worrying people on this thread...

hermenmumster · 20/06/2024 13:27

BobbyBiscuits · 20/06/2024 12:59

I'm finding this hard to believe tbh.
An hirsute transwoman, clearly looking male, is wearing a dress and heels. Is this your colleague, your client? Do they dress that way at work? Have you always known them as trans?
Then your kid asked them why they were wearing a dress? Did you hear your kid asking this? Is that a polite thing to ask one of your mum's colleagues? Then they mentioned their 'willy'. Again, did you hear them saying this, and if so why not speak to them at the time?
It doesn't ring true on many levels.

Edited

Genuinely 100% true. On every level!

OP posts:
DragonGypsyDoris · 20/06/2024 13:27

Her penis?

AndiOliversGlasses · 20/06/2024 13:26

spannasaurus · 20/06/2024 13:17

To all the posters who are saying a bearded man in a dress wouldn't call themselves a transwoman meet Alex

Christ. “Bearded lady” is a very niche form of womanhood to aspire to.

KimberleyClark · 20/06/2024 13:25

spannasaurus · 20/06/2024 13:17

To all the posters who are saying a bearded man in a dress wouldn't call themselves a transwoman meet Alex

Interesting. Never seen Alex out and about in Cardiff. Maybe I just didn’t notice or only saw her from the back or something.

AGlinnerOfHope · 20/06/2024 13:25

@AndiOliversGlasses the man himself said he was born a boy with a Willy and now he's a lady.

What else could he mean?

IamaRevenant · 20/06/2024 13:24

No that's completely unnecessary.

I have several trans friends (yes I'm aware I sound like a cliche! But my friends i completely see as women/men whatever they identify as) but I also have a SIL who is pushing it on my nieces (one is 16 and has decided she's a boy... I'm calling her she because she dresses like a girl and always has!) and the other wee one is only 7 and has already told me she may want to be a boy and mummy said she could get a boy's willy... just why would you say that??

AGlinnerOfHope · 20/06/2024 13:23

spannasaurus · 20/06/2024 13:17

To all the posters who are saying a bearded man in a dress wouldn't call themselves a transwoman meet Alex

Sadly your link to Alex Drummond doesn't show on the app. He's a good looking bloke regardless of how he dresses. Boils my piss that he claims he's a woman. Expanding the definition of woman, my arse.

FOJN · 20/06/2024 13:22

Ladyritacircumference · 20/06/2024 12:05

How rude of your daughter. Has she no manners?

It is like when a child asks a person with a disability why they use a wheelchair, or what is ‘wrong’ with them.

Other people are not there to provide teachable moments for your child.

I suspect the trans woman’s reply was their way of telling your child to fuck off.

Seriously?

A man, with a beard, in a dress and you think a six year old is rude for being inquisitive?

Most adults are capable of understanding that inquisitive small children will ask questions that other adults know would be rude.

How does a parent prep a child not to ask such questions? The only way for children to learn that some questions are best left unasked is by speaking to them after they've already asked the question and telling them why it could be seen as rude.

Small children are generally not filled with malice, their questions are quite innocent, I can't see what's to be gained from berating them rather than educating them.

rewarrrrd · 20/06/2024 13:18

ASighMadeOfStone · 20/06/2024 10:16

Two wrongs don't make a right.

The transwoman had no need to talk to a 6 year old about penises.

The 6 year old should be told it's rude to ask such personal questions.

(I'm GC)

6 year olds aren't being rude by asking about things that stand out as not normal. They're inquisitive, not rude.

TheKeatingFive · 20/06/2024 13:17

IAmAnAdultHumanFemale · 20/06/2024 13:14

No nice ordinary bloke would talk about penises to kids

no nice ordinary woman would think it's ok for men to talk about penises to kids

no nice ordinary people would say it's rude for a child of 6 to question why a man is wearing a dress

This, with bells on

PollyPeachum · 20/06/2024 13:16

As it was a works meeting, even if a social one. HR should be involved, I hope you reported it.
Unless people get challenged for marginal behaviour they will push to something more unsavoury next time.

changedusernameforthis1 · 20/06/2024 13:15

That's so unnecessary - if the child had asked why a woman was wearing a dress, would she reply to say that she has a vagina? Highly doubtful.

I'm a transman with my own children, so I'm around other children quite often and sometimes kids have asked questions. My reply is always the same "What do you think? ...Oh, that's an interesting thought, you should see what your Mum/Dad/whoever is with them at the time thinks."

It's people like that who made me turn away from the trans community and continue my journey without their "support" because it's just getting worse.

AndiOliversGlasses · 20/06/2024 13:14

DampDust · 20/06/2024 13:10

I Know!!!

There was one in my area last week telling stories to kids!! No thank you!!

I presume you also boycott pantomimes then?

IAmAnAdultHumanFemale · 20/06/2024 13:14

No nice ordinary bloke would talk about penises to kids

no nice ordinary woman would think it's ok for men to talk about penises to kids

no nice ordinary people would say it's rude for a child of 6 to question why a man is wearing a dress

AndiOliversGlasses · 20/06/2024 13:12

DampDust · 20/06/2024 13:06

Sorry to miss the point, but surely if you wish to trans gender to a woman, you would cut off your beard so you would look like a woman, or, or....you are literally just a man in a dress ? If he looked like a woman in his dress, he wouldn't have been questioned by a 6 year old. He hasn't actually changed anything except his clothes - this doth not a woman make

Did anyone actually say this person was transgender, or is that just your description OP? Sounds more like an old school transvestite to me, hormones would mean no beard surely, even if he hadn’t had full reassignment surgery. It’s all a bit Little Britain “I’m a laydee” isn’t it?

People can wear whatever clothes they like, but he definitely should not have been talking to your child about his dick. Let’s hope he doesn’t use women’s toilets either.

CantDealwithChristmas · 20/06/2024 13:11

Cattery · 20/06/2024 12:46

It was a man in a dress talking to a child about willies. What the fuck are we allowing in this country

If he said it with the intent of inducing the child to make a sexual communication in return, then it's illegal.

DampDust · 20/06/2024 13:10

IAmAnAdultHumanFemale · 20/06/2024 11:28

This has made me shudder

Pretty?

its like the drag queens reading to little kids. Funny you don't see them going into care homes and reading to the elderly eh?

Edited

I Know!!!

There was one in my area last week telling stories to kids!! No thank you!!

BobbyBiscuits · 20/06/2024 13:08

@YouJustDoYou the whole thing sounds made up, or embellished. Sorry that's the way I look at it.

StringTheory1 · 20/06/2024 13:07

Why is this geezer calling himself a “trans woman” when he is a TRANSVESTITE.

Nowt wrong with the latter, obvs.

And he shouldn’t be talking about his cock with a young child (or anyone, unless they ask about it).

Rank, entitled, way out of line. I feel for you having to work with this guy.