6 year child - stranger talking about her penis

Agree with a previous poster that it's creep behaviour. As it was the first time you met him, you know nothing about him, or his intentions so it is just creepy. Talking to a little girl about your penis however you word it is not acceptable in my opinion!

he claims but doesn't have any actual data to back it up.

And if you had bothered to actually read any of my posts, I have repeatedly said that it should have been fed back to a manager. I wouldn't have just left it to happen again. I have repeatedly said it should have been called out.

Six year olds are being taught about difference because developmentally it is the time they ask questions about difference.

It isn't being rude. It's doing what is developmentally age appropriate.

This is why gender politics are inappropriate at this age because the children don't have the capacity to fully understand the concept.

I disagree that it's rude for the child to ask.

They clearly saw something that did not make sense to them and questioned it.

I don't think being outspoken or blunt is rude, and by doing so to the man, OP overheard and it has rightly triggered her instincts that something is amiss.

The man could have simply said, I am a transwoman, this is something you should ask your parents about. He had no need to spread his ideology to a child, or even mention his genitals. That's creep behaviour.

If it wasn’t a trans woman (ie dressed as they were) would you be ok with any man speaking in the same way to a six year old?

The issue now, is this is a trusted person.

But the OP now faces the prospect of telling a six year old why a trusted person was saying things that are impossible.

It is not possible to change sex. It's not an appropriate conversation for a 6 year old without parental consent.

This is not ok.

All the more reason to call out those that do use 'trans' as a cover for predatory behaviour.

Surely you don't think most trans people would be OK with a stranger discussing their genitals with a child? To my knowledge being trans doesn't make you blind to safeguarding. Please stop tarnishing an entire group in your misguided attempt to defend them. With friends like you.....

No one has said that the majority of transwomen are perverts but Ray Blanchard, who has studied transgenderism extensively, claims that about 80% of transwomen are autogynophiles. AGP is a sexual paraphilia but this does not make someone a sexual predator.

Think about it this way, if a man at a works even had said anything to your 6 year old daughter about a penis would you have reported him to HR.

So far on this thread we have the following about your daughter:

• She should not have asked the question
• She was rude
• It's perfectly normal for men to discuss their genitalia with children
• Children aged 6 are at fault for asking innocent questions
• She's lying

And about you we have:

• The whole thing is untrue as no tran-sexual man would ever do this so you are making the entire thing up
• You're a closet transphobe
• Your daughter is lying to you

Basically all your safeguarding instincts as a mother are gone out the window because of your fear of being labelled transphobic. You are so afraid because where you work is so 'captured' that you in turn are afraid to act in the support of your child and all of our children.

Now in whose interest is that? Because it most certainly is not in the interest of your daughter.

He literally talked about his penis?

I have a willy is quite literally talking about a penis.

I like dresses is not talking about a penis.

Any man, in a dress or not, mentioning they have or have had a willy to a 6 year old child - I would assume they were trying to illicit a conversation about genitalia. The natural follow on from saying that is "do you still have a willy" "I don't have a willy..." etc. etc. Or just revel in the puzzled/uncomfortable look on their face. We KNOW there are men that get off on making others feel uncomfortable (Grayson Perry for example).

Why else would he bring it up? She's six, she in all likelihood already knows men have willies so he had no need to say "a man with a willy". Just say "a man" FFS.

Editing to say I agree with @IdgieThreadgoodeIsMyHeroine, sorry if it sounds like I'm angry at you 😂

I'd be shocked at anyone other than a parent mentioning genitalia at all to a child, unless it was something to do with a medical or potential abuse/criminal issue. Barring that, there's just no need at all to discuss genitals with other people's children!

I agree with this. It's not at all about how this person identifies/refers to himself. the wording of your complaint need only be 'a colleague used the word 'willy' when talking to my 6-year-old, whom said colleague had never met before, withot me present. That's inappropriate, because it's always inappropriate for an unknown adult to use words about genitalia to a child.'

I have made it quite clear I would have reported it to managers, and that the comment was out of order.

I would say WTF is wrong with people who don't want to report it to ensure it doesn't happen again?!

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Because one off hand comment doesn't equal grooming. Continued conversation, finding a chance to bond, trying to be alone with the child, THAT would all indicate grooming. One off hand comment does not equal grooming.

I've done a lot of training on child protection and grooming. I have been groomed.

This.

WTF is wrong with people 🤦‍♀️

How do you know it wasn't perversion? Engaging children in inappropriate, boundary-crossing conversations is a huge indicator of grooming. The child finding it funny is not a sign it isn't grooming; it is a sign the grooming is working.

This

The comment about Willy’s was completely inappropriate and I would ensure that person has no opportunities for contact with my child in the future.

they said "I had a willy..." that is hardly holding a full conversation about genitalia. Mine would have found it hilarious when they were 6 and willy was the funniest word in the world.

It was boundary crossing, and I would ensure that this was highlighted to them. But it wasn't perversion.

Not sure if you misunderstood my point? I was explaining to OP that inventing a fictional scenario in which a fictional trans woman spoke to a child about their penis is the sort of thing that a transphobe would do, in order to increase hatred of trans people.

Since many people believe Mumsnet is full of transphobia they automatically think such stories must be made up.

I was not saying that OP was transphobic or made up a story.

The majority of men aren't perverts either, but any man who talks to a 6 year old stranger about his penis certainly is.

I am quite shocked that you wont' even mention it to a manger.

I have always worked for public bodies. Not even Stonewall themselves would object to you raising the crossing of boundaries with a manager so it can be fed back to the person. No one would object to that.

You get all pearl clutchy that your child was put at such risk, but you're unwilling to ensure it doesn't happen again??

Someone mentioning they had a willy does not make them a predator. The vast majority of transwomen (and transmen, or is those only transwomen?) are not perverts or doing it for sexual gratification. There is NO data, or papers, to back this up and this is exactly why Mumsnet is considered transphobic.

Call the police? Seriously? Would you be happy for someone to be murdered, stabbed or raped because the police have to ask people if they said one inappropriate word to a child?
The police are seriously stretched so yes they wouldn't have resources to be in two places at once.
World has gone mad!