Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In laws

42 replies

polaroppositewife · 20/06/2024 09:34

Just looking for some opinions on if this would annoy anyone else or I am just moody.

I am lucky enough to have a spare/ guest room and additional bedroom that we class as a dressing room where perfume/make up etc is.
My in laws stopped over last week and when MIL came down stairs I smelt perfume I commented that she smelt nice and she just thanked me. However I now realise she had been in dressing room and used my perfume. This in its self isn’t an issue they can use what they want.

However it’s annoyed me that she didn’t ask and why not just say “oh I tried some of yours “ when I commented.

I am likely moody and sensitive but just wanted other options just think it’s quite rude.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Fraaahnces · 29/06/2024 12:22

Pity she doesn’t have any of her own, I’d be squirting it with wild abandon… Instead, I’d make sure I’d be buying some for her next bday/christmas (not the same one - some chemist special) with a note saying “Since I know how much you enjoyed it from when you stayed at ours”….

LT1982 · 29/06/2024 12:15

Fivepiece · 26/06/2024 16:52

It literally says in the OP that MIL said 'oh I used some of yours' 😂

Show quote history

Except it doesn't. Read post properly before correcting others 😂

LT1982 · 29/06/2024 12:10

The perfumes weren't in the guest room, MIL had to go into the dressing room to get the perfume

MibsXX · 29/06/2024 00:49

Topseyt123 · 25/06/2024 23:19

I think it is rude to visit someone else's house and just help yourself to their stuff, be it perfume and make-up or anything else.

I don't have much of anything nice, so if someone were to use some of the tiny bit of perfume I have left, which I keep for very special occasions only, then yes, I would be very upset

pigsDOfly · 28/06/2024 15:10

Saski24 · 27/06/2024 23:17

Perhaps she just wanted to smell like her wonderful daughter-in-law who is so kind and generous and not the sort at all to broadcast the fact that she’s used a small spray of perfume without asking to a load of strangers on the internet. Hope this helps.

Well, unless you're OP's MIL or you know the family well, it really doesn't make a great deal of difference if OP post about her MIL, she hasn't named her MIL.

Most posts on MN involve other unnamed people, usually with a negative slant. Do you complain on every thread about OPs posting about people they know?

OP, MIL overstepped the mark. Her behaviour was rude.

So what if it's one squirt of scent, as pps have said? It's really bad manners to go into people's homes, nose around and take what you want without asking.

GoldEagle · 28/06/2024 14:56

MIL shouldn't be snooping about in your house and using your stuff.

Owl55 · 28/06/2024 10:19

😂😂This just reminded me of when I was a kid and used someone’s bathroom, I would often have a squirt of perfume and would think no-one would notice!

Alleycat1 · 28/06/2024 07:02

It is the fact that MIL was poking about in rooms other than the one she was staying in that would annoy me. Who does that? Very bad manners.

Saski24 · 27/06/2024 23:17

Perhaps she just wanted to smell like her wonderful daughter-in-law who is so kind and generous and not the sort at all to broadcast the fact that she’s used a small spray of perfume without asking to a load of strangers on the internet. Hope this helps.

Marine30 · 27/06/2024 21:36

It is definitely annoying. But I can relate as my mum used to do it - to me and others. She once did it at a neighbour’s dinner party (to be fair they were very good friends) with the neighbour’s perfume 😱 and would always spritz every perfume going in Boots or H of F.
It was like some weird compulsion but in other respects she was lovely so I mainly used to bite my tongue (or quickly walk away).
It depends if you usually like your MIL or if she has loads of other annoying habits.

TheChosenTwo · 27/06/2024 19:29

For me it would depend on who it was. My
favourite aunt, sister in laws, friends, sister - wouldnt mind at all. But they’d all say, “ooh I nipped into your dressing room and had a quick spray, hope you don’t mind?”
and I genuinely wouldn’t.
My dad however who I only have to stay under absolute duress I would be livid - because I don’t really like him 😂 I mean, he’s not likely to try out my fancy perfumes or lotions and potions but you know what I mean!

hoggyhedge · 27/06/2024 19:28

Gosh! A squirt of perfume!!!

dont be a miser

Original poster
polaroppositewife · 27/06/2024 19:24

Thank you for all the replies I was worried it was just me, feel better knowing it would have annoyed others too.

OP posts:
Original poster
polaroppositewife · 27/06/2024 19:16

GoneFishingToday · 25/06/2024 21:51

I agree that it was really rude to go into your dressing room, and use your perfume without asking OP. I'd definitely not be happy if someone did that in my house. On the other hand, if they said something along the lines of 'I just walked past your dressing room, and noticed you've got a perfume that I'd love to try ....', I would immediately say 'go and help yourself'. It's not the perfume that's the issue, it's the taking without asking, that would annoy me. At the end of the day, it's just good manners to ask.

Exactly this! Had she asked I would have said help yourself. Or after she had used it at least acknowledged it. I wouldn’t have been annoyed it’s the lack of manners that’s has annoyed me.

OP posts:
Original poster
polaroppositewife · 27/06/2024 19:08

andfinallyhereweare · 25/06/2024 22:25

Are you sure she doesn’t just have the same purfume as you?

Absolutely it’s not something she spends money on

OP posts:
BlueFlowers5 · 27/06/2024 18:56

She's family Id let it go.

Turquoise123 · 27/06/2024 17:56

It’s not very smart of her is it - given the whole point of scent it to smell and be noticed. Maybe she was a bit embarrassed, having been caught out in snooping? It is rather interesting behaviour….

Grammarnut · 27/06/2024 17:51

polaroppositewife · 20/06/2024 09:34

Just looking for some opinions on if this would annoy anyone else or I am just moody.

I am lucky enough to have a spare/ guest room and additional bedroom that we class as a dressing room where perfume/make up etc is.
My in laws stopped over last week and when MIL came down stairs I smelt perfume I commented that she smelt nice and she just thanked me. However I now realise she had been in dressing room and used my perfume. This in its self isn’t an issue they can use what they want.

However it’s annoyed me that she didn’t ask and why not just say “oh I tried some of yours “ when I commented.

I am likely moody and sensitive but just wanted other options just think it’s quite rude.

Well, I wouldn't use my DiL's perfume or my DD's, not without asking, so I think you are not being unreasonable. When visiting DD I am always told I may go anywhere. I do not. I use the public rooms, the bedroom and bathroom allocated to me (though I can use the other if I wish - but I would ask e.g. if I wanted to use the walk-in shower) and the dressing room to hang out clothes if I use the washing machine (not otherwise unless to haul dogs out!). Your MiL overstepped the mark in my opinion.

yaddayaddayah · 27/06/2024 12:40

Are you sure it’s not her own that she brought with her?

Bemused89 · 26/06/2024 19:12

Fivepiece · 26/06/2024 16:52

It literally says in the OP that MIL said 'oh I used some of yours' 😂

Show quote history

Does it... I thought the original post was that the mil didn't say anything and the op thought she should have if she had taken some...

Olika · 26/06/2024 17:12

@Fivepiece it says:

However it’s annoyed me that she didn’t ask and why not just say “oh I tried some of yours “ when I commented.

Fivepiece · 26/06/2024 16:52

Bemused89 · 25/06/2024 23:34

Are you sure she doesn't just have the same perfume... How do you know she specifically went into and used yours?

It literally says in the OP that MIL said 'oh I used some of yours' 😂

Bemused89 · 25/06/2024 23:34

Are you sure she doesn't just have the same perfume... How do you know she specifically went into and used yours?

Topseyt123 · 25/06/2024 23:19

I think it is rude to visit someone else's house and just help yourself to their stuff, be it perfume and make-up or anything else.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 25/06/2024 22:51

@polaroppositewife I would hate guests nosying in all my rooms and I would be bloody livid if my mil had gone into a room which she was not meant to be in and used my perfume!! I would not do that in anyone's house!