To think it's ok to contribute towards my own engagement ring?

We went 50/50 on mine. Bit outdated for the man to have to buy it imo, you are both getting engaged!

My first engagement ring was an antique solitaire, bought when we were both students. I still have it but the setting is worn.
One day I saw a more modern version, still in the pre loved section of a jewellers. I bought it and wear it, I could have taken the cost from our joint account, but didn’t as it didn’t matter.
My original ring is safely stored away, as it has huge sentimental value.

I'm the same as @Turfwars. We went to the jewellery shop together, I chose the ring and stone colour, paid the deposit, and let my now DH do the rest.

I say get the ring you want 😁

I picked out mine, put a deposit on it, and told DH to do the rest.

He was delighted he didn't have to go through a sales spiel and the pressure of picking something that I'm quite fussy about.

You can do whatever you like but I wouldn’t want to finance my own ring personally.
iv got a engagement ring, eternity ring and a wedding ring and I didn’t pay for any of them

Why does anyone other than you and your partner need to know how the ring was financed? Just don’t say anything it’s no one’s business. I couldn’t imagine someone admiring my engagement ring and then piping up with… I paid half.

@CeasarS I'm old and jaded and I don't understand why engagement rings are still a thing. If they're so good and harmless, why don't men want them?

Tradition, nice gesture, they're pretty, symbolic... Most men don't want them because they don't generally wear pretty jewellery (common sense really), however some men do. I have some male friends with engagement rings (admittedly in same sex relationships) and others (straight) with engagement watches, or another expensive item in place of a ring.

Of course it's fine, if that's what you want to do, but doesn't that just highlight what a nonsense an engagement ring is. It's not really betrothal ring if he didn't give it to you. If you want a beautiful piece of jewellery, have one, but why an engagement ring?

I'm old and jaded and I don't understand why engagement rings are still a thing. If they're so good and harmless, why don't men want them?

I chose and bought my own after he proposed. My taste in jewellery is very specific and I would have hated a diamond solitaire, plus at that point I earned a lot more than him so it made sense to get it myself. Marriage is a partnership and there’s been times he’s contributed more financially in other ways so I don’t see the issue.

I would feel so patronised if I ever found out my partner had done that 😳

It’s fine to pay towards it.

Stop telling your friends about your finances - this is a good lesson to learn before you get married. Nobody needs to know what your ring cost. Are you even engaged/have you and your partner discussed marriage?

Of course it is! My first one cost all of £98 for a sapphire trilogy. Since then I've bought myself several!

My DiL has always earned more than our son. He bought her the ring he could afford and she was delighted to accept it and has always been proud to wear it. I think it will depend on whether or not your fiancé is happy with this situation.

I chose and bought mine myself, it was beautiful and 20 years on I still wear it everyday. We were very young and my DH gave me a plastic ring as the original proposal ring. He thought it was cute. I thought I'd better buy the one I like myself 😁

I privately told the shop to say it was a lower price so as not to embarass my fiance and then quietly paid the difference.

He is a high earner now so no need for such shenanigans nowadays 😉

I bought my own engagement ring, and our wedding rings!
We had already been engaged for a couple of years, my now husband was on a very low wage with no savings of his own, and we arranged our wedding in about 6 weeks as we found out my mum had terminal cancer and was likely to die within 3 months. As it was she died 2 days after we got married.
He has since bought me an eternity ring.

Of course it isn't.
Once married, you will be in a partnership and all monies spent by either of you will affect that partnership. It doesn't really matter where the money comes from for the ring, and, like you say, it is important that it is something you like.

seems fine to me. Marriage is a financial partnership as much as anything else.

We're older and second time around so we just bought both wedding rings jointly. His simple platinum and mine full diamond eternity.

What's his budget and how much do you want to spend on a ring?

Go for it. My mother told me to add to his budget so I could have a really nice diamond. So I did. never regretted it.

How does he feel about it?

It depends if you’re a ‘pool money’ couple or ‘put a % of salary towards bills’ couple.

We bought a house before we got married and pooled all our money straight away. We chose our rings together and they all came out of the same money pool so it didn’t really matter. Mine cost a lot more than his but it wasn’t an issue. I think that’s the main point, you need to have a similar attitude to money and the household in general. We spilt household tasks 50/50, we have a joint account but we buy what we want and unless it’s £1000s we don’t ask each other before we buy.

Works well for us, but if you have separate money and different ideas on saving and spending then buy your own ring and negotiate future purchases separately

Marriage is a legal and financial partnership. While some couples keep money completely separate, many, if not most, will consider the point of getting married to become financial partners. Does it really matter which account the money comes from before the merge?