To think friend should have reminded me?

Surely you paid her back when she bought the ticket. Yabu. She a friend not your mother.. give back her money

Doesn't sound like either of you have lost out on a great friendship. She has unfortunately lost £200. Do you think you've won?

Bet you didn’t forget . I had a “ friend “ like you once , always conveniently forgot to pay for her share of airfares / hotels .

Honestly I think its strange she didn't message you.

I would have just text my friend asking if they still wanted to go to 'gig'? Would take less than a minute to sort out.

But also how could you just forget?

And...was it Girls Aloud?

You must pay her back OP. Even if just 50 a month for 4 months.

Whilst I find the whole arrangement difficult to understand, I agree that unless your friend managed to re-sell your ticket, you owe her the money and should pay up as soon as you can.

Wow, OP I'm sorry but you're unreal. She paid out £200 for you on the understanding you would pay her back - you then 'forgot'. She's obviously tried to contact you about it as she says in her text she 'gave up' after that. It is not on her to remind you to pay it, the onus is on you as the debtor to pay your debt. The fact that you didn't is now why a 15 year friendship is down the drain, that's on you, she's done nothing wrong. Pay her the £200, that's the right thing to do, even if you pay it in £20 increments until its paid and then leave her be to get on with her life with friends who don't conveniently forget they owe them money when they've been good enough to front it for you. Shocking.

Sounds like it was a weird friendship between two weird people.

You were happy to spend £200 to go to a gig, but forgot to pay the £200 and forgot about the gig (which for £200 you should have been very excited for).

Your friend is happy to sub you £200, but unable to bring up being owed the money and doesn't talk to you at all about the gig you should both be very excited for even when messaging you about other arrangements.

Did you and/or her have second thoughts about wanting to attend together and just decide to quietly forget the whole thing I wonder?

I wouldn't expect to remind a grown adult to pay me back, no. £200 isn't a small sum.
You sound super shady btw.

Exactly. I'm surprised people are blaming the friend for not chasing up money she was owed. This is OP's fault. The only thing the friend did wrong was to trust the wrong person.

Hard to believe it’s not a reverse. You sound insufferable.

Exactly, OP needs to now go out of her way to go and pay back her ex friend, the onus is on her, not the friend, to do that.

OP, so just because your friendship is over, does it mean you won't pay her back? I will never understand people like you.

So you haven't offered to pay her back in installments, @abrabhf?

You owe her £200, and regardless of how you regard the friendship now, only a real cheeky fucker would leave their former friend £200 out of pocket, during a cost of living crisis!!

I voted YABU because you should have paid her as soon as you could on payday. It's quite odd that you would let her get you something so expensive - it's as if you never really wanted to pay for it and were hoping she would either forget about it and inadvertently pay for it all or that she would remember and decide to not charge you for it - hence, a treat. In either case, it sounds like you felt entitled to her money. Do you see other people as cash cows who are put on this earth to support you?

OP has killed this friendship over money owed.
She avoided seeing her friend as she always knew she owed £200.
She snooped to see if the friend took someone to the gig, so she could blame the friend.
Said no to dinner as it would have meant paying for the gig..
And to top it all comes on mumsnet to get us all to agree not her fault....

It wouldn't get to that point. BEFORE the gig there would be a reminder, and if say I couldn't go, we'd try to sell the additional ticket and if between us we couldn't; I'd pay up. But this would be before the event.
My main objection to this thread is not the ins and outs of what happened etc... people have different opinions of course. My main objection is the language used in some of the comments.

You still owe her £200 though!

Sounds like there's alot more to it than you're letting on. She paid for tickets which you never paid her back for, that is your responsibility! You must of known when the gig was. She isn't going to blank you as she'd of wanted her money back, she then asks you to another event to which you were like "soz I'm off with other friends" Did you ask her along to that, 15 years of friendship and sound like you've not been a very good friend lately.

It was down to you to pay that money, youre a grown person. If you couldnt afford it then dont ask her to pay out and then dont bother. sounds like you ghosted her till after the gig so you could lay blame at her door. Tbh she needs better friends and you need to be a grown up, pay that money back, even if it's 20quid a month and be a better person.

she also shouldn't have to be the one to remind YOU that you OWE her £200. Poor woman

This is why i don't lend money anymore or things because i cant be bothered with constantly reminding people to pay back what they owe.

Nah you well and truly ditched her!

You asked for a ticket said you'd pay on pay day. didn't pay on payday, then declined 2 invites to meet with her including one decline where you said you were going with other people instead when you could have just invited her to tag along with your group and then never mentioned the gig/money ever again. Definitely you doing the ditching here.

So she twice invites you to things and you tell her you can't go and make no effort to sort out an alternative.
The onus is now on you to make contact with her. And not just to say that you miss her but make no effort to actually meet up with her.

Oh OP! I don't want to add to the pile on but you can't run frienships like this.

On the local event, did that mean she had no one to go with? Could you not have invited her to join you and your friends?

On her dinner invite, did you not suggest having her over on a different date?

It's not enough to drop someone a random messaging saying you miss them. You need to make an effort to meet them.

Presumably your friends pay when reminded/they remember.

OP now remembers she owes the £200. She’s just not paying it.

Have you sent her a message apologising and offering a payment plan?
It's not her fault you forgot, and she's laid out the money for you, you owe it to her.

If she messaged asking to go somewhere with you and you said you're already going with different friends, maybe that was enough for her to think fuck you considering maybe she could have come along too...