To think friend should have reminded me?

Op, you are behaving, including your responses to this thread and the initial action, exactly how my 15 year old dd would. I am genuinely worried for her and trying very hard to make her realise the consequences. I am praying it's a stage. She can be lovely but needs to understand how she behaves currently will result in her having zero friends in the end, they won't put up with it regardless of how vivacious she is. She is in the waiting line for adhd, but I think it might be something else. Not sure what. What I do know is you can't behave so selfishly all the time and expect to keep friends.

This applies to you too.

Your friend has clearly had enough and no longer wants you as a friend.

Absolute tough if you can't afford £200. Go without till you have. It isn't your money, it's hers.

Shocking, you can't afford to send her the 200, but tuff shit on her weather or not she can afford to loss 200, no wonder she not speaking to you, who needs a friendship like this 🙈

I think you’re both in the wrong but you more so. She could’ve asked if you still wanted to go to the gig. However seems you’ve fobbed her off. I mean why couldn’t you have asked her to come with your other friends to the summer event? Also she invited you to hers and you were busy. If you were my friend I’d probably think you were avoiding me. Also you’ve said you don’t have £200 so you were never going to give her the money were you!

You have behaved really poorly.

You MUST pay her the £200. You supposedly could afford it at the time, so you'll just have to find the money now.

Organise yourself better in future and don't leave people out of pocket indefinitely.

I'm not surprised the friendship is over, you sound like a crap friend. Start paying her back in installments and don't agree to things you can't afford in future.

Exactly this. Wtf.

Friend didn't provide op with the ticket either so it's not a simple "you owe her" case. (Legally)

If she had given the ticket to op then it's far clearer that legally the op would owe the money.

I find it bizarre that you could forget both the fact that you owed a friend £200 for a gig AND the gig itself. Who commits to a 200 quid spend, knowing that someone else has to shell out initially, and then simply “forgets”?

Yes, I do think it’s weird that your friend didn’t message you to say “All set for Saturday?” and to make arrangements. She’s shouldn’t have to remind you, but I’m surprised she didn’t. However, none of this changes the fact that you owe her the money. YOU committed; YOU forgot. Shrugging your shoulders and saying “But I can’t afford to pay her” doesn’t cut it. You should have thought of that at the time.

Well, you need to FIND The £200 and pay it back to her as soon as you can then. I can't believe what you're saying, quite honestly. She bought the tickets in good faith, haven't reimbursed her and are still saying you can't afford to pay her back.

Yes - I would have expected her to 'remind' you - but from her reply to you, she did try but had to give up because you weren't paying

Sorry -but not a nice way to treat a friend

Did you invite her to join you? You aren't a friend to her, you treat her like an occasional acquaintance and she's decided to cut her loses.

You need to send the money. Even if the friendships over. You not having the money isn’t an excuse, you knew you agreed to the gig and she bought the ticket.

She could have reminded you, but I don’t like reminding people if they owe me money. Just put a reminder in your calendar on pay day, it’s not difficult.

You should be paying even though you didn’t go.

So you couldn't afford to pay her back even now, I bet you never could so you should never have accepted.

You're an adult and you should have taken the responsibility to put it into your phone calendar on that day before payday. I understand we forget, hell I have ADHD and I know about forgetting. But I make sure I put everything important in my calendar otherwise I do forget.

It doesn't even seem like you've even properly tried to make amends since either.

I wouldn't want to be your friend anymore either. You don't seem like you care that much.

you are a horrible 'friend' & should absolutely be giving her the £200 back. I guarantee if you had already paid for the ticket when you said you would then you would have not forgotten about the gig

So she's lost £200 because you are "forgetful". Sounds real fair OP 🙄

Yep! I'd bet my life on it that this is not the first time OP has "forgot" to repay this friend (& others).

So you turned her down twice and now you're offended because she didn't chase you a third time? I think the ball was in your court. She said she waited to see if you'd do the right thing/make contact, and you didn't.

I get the impression that the friend is feeling that OP isn't that interested in the friendship anymore. Not paying, the lack of contact and the declining an invite without arranging an alternative probably gave that impression. The friend didn't remind OP as a sort of test to see if OP is even that bothered in the friendship anymore.

The friendship is probably dead now, but if you want any hope of keeping it, refund the money, apologise and put more effort in.

It does sound like you have lost your friend because you have not paid the £200 back maybe she doesn't have that sort of money to lose.

I mean you're probably right, but who spends £200 on a gig ticket for a flaky friend?

Unlikely to win as she didn't try and mitigate her losses at all.

She could have reminded op
She could then have sold the ticket onwards (maybe at a loss) or chosen to give to a friend

If actually she could have resold it for full value (or more) but chose not to bother trying to sell it or chasing the op, she won't have a claim.

I'm guessing the OP has previous form for 'forgetting' to pay for things, and it's entirely possible her friend was testing her on this occasion, giving her a last chance to do the right thing of her own accord.

The OP failed the test, so the friend dropped her. Fair enough.

I'm going to go against the grain here.

On the face of it I think it is very weird that she didn't remind you.

She'd paid for, and was in possession of, two tickets.

There were three outcomes.

1. She goes alone and one ticket is wasted.
2. She goes with someone else.
3. She goes with you.

If she'd sent you a message saying, "Hi @abrabhf, hope you haven't forgotten about the gig in June. You are still coming, right? Can you transfer me the money?" either you would have transferred her the money and you'd have gone together as planned, or you wouldn't have transferred her the money for whatever reason and she'd have had to make the decision to either go alone or go with someone else.

But by not reminding you, she ensured that it was the latter.

It's annoying when people are flaky and forget longstanding plans. It's annoying when people are supposed to pay you back for something and they forget. But not reminding someone of something quite important if you think they might have forgotten is just weird.

It sounds like there's more going on here than meets the eye because this isn't a normal friendship dynamic.

I'd have reminded you OP, however some people don't like asking for money, even if it's for tickets.

She didn't remind you, you forgot and didn't pay, so now she is hugely pissed off with you, enough to end the friendship.

Assuming she didn't sell the ticket to someone else the only way to salvage the friendship is to pay her the £200 now.

if she did sell it to someone else, grovelling apologies is the way to go.

You sound like an awful friend.

and you need to pay her the money.

shes not your mum or your pa. Set reminders yourself.

If ex friend reading this could take you to small claims to get her 200 back