To think friend should have reminded me?

I wouldnt have reminded you if you didn’t bother paying me back either. She probably sold the ticket to someone else, its not like it was a cheap gig.

Just seen that you said she went on her own. Turned into a very expensive concert for her didn’t it. Especially as you don’t plan on paying for the ticket.

She's not your PA. Get it together.

She presumably cannot believe you didn’t pay her for the ticket and expected her to chase.

@Readinstead

”Also, I find it hard to believe that you like somebody enough to pay £200 for a ticket to see them and then you completely forget the date of that concert. I voted yabu.”

So true.

She bought them in December and you still hadn’t paid her by April? At which point you’d turned down a further two occasions she offered you to meet?

YABU

you need to find a way to pay her back the £200, even if it means in instalments, or by selling something to get the cash.

I’m sure you wouldn’t have needed reminding if you had bought the tickets.

Your friend bought the tickets, and you told her you needed to wait until payday and then you'd send her the money.

But by payday you 'forgot' that you owed her £200?

And now you're not going to reimburse her £200 because you can't afford it.

Do you not think you've been unreasonable?

I can’t afford to send her £200.

@abrabhf - really? then why did you agree to get a ticket and to pay her for it?

Is the position that you could afford £200 when you were getting a ticket for a gig but that now "can't afford it" because you don't want to pay it because you didn't go?

Or is it that you could never have afforded it? In which case why did you agree?

If you can't afford to send her £200, what makes you think that she can afford to sustain a loss of £200. Even for moderately well off people, £200 is a lot of money.

Either way you have behaved very badly. It's all a bit pathetic for an adult really.

I haven't read the whole thread, just the first few posts and OP's replies.
I think you need to pay her back, in installments if need be, she did you a favour by getting you the ticket and is £200 out of pocket for doing so. You are an adult and shouldn't need to be reminded that you owe a friend money.
Also, I find it hard to believe that you like somebody enough to pay £200 for a ticket to see them and then you completely forget the date of that concert. I voted yabu.

Mortified for you.

Your idea of a budget needs improvement OP.

If you have so little savings that you can't afford £200 for a ticket then why would you be agree to go?

Unfortunately you are living far beyond your means.

A concert is really not a priority.

Then you shouldn’t have asked her to book the ticket. Concerts are luxury pursuits. She shouldn’t have to pay for you. You’ve not been a good friend.🙄

So you agreed to go to the gig and your friend bought the ticket knowing you couldn't pay her until payday, then you didn't pay her on payday and you think she is the unreasonable one for going without you.

How did you forget about it between her making the booking and your payday?

And now you are refusing to give her the money she has lost because you cannot afford it, why on earth did you agree to go in the first place then.

Surely if it was a £200 cost , it’s something you were really keen on so you must have realised it was coming up?

@Wolfiefan @Zzey @GinToBegin I cannot fathom why someone would do that, but then I struggle understanding people most days 😅

You should have paid her when you got paid. No one forgets that you owe a mate £200.

Pay it and apologise.

Yeah if I'd bought a friend a £200 ticket I'd be reminding them they owed me the money, and also organising things like getting to the gig etc. I wouldn't just go radio silence and then go alone. That's weird. People forget stuff all the time. It can be irritating, sure, but you owed her £200 and she never sent you one nudge or said 'hey you still coming to this gig?' or anything, she just assumed you were quietly ghosting her because you didn't want to go? Are you usually flakey? Maybe if this isn't the first time then that could in someway explain it...or is she loaded and £200 doesn't make a dent in the budget?! Otherwise I'm baffled.

@Zzey it means that I suspected the OP was the one who was owed the money.

Say sorry and pay her what you owe her. You could check first to see if she's out of pocket or resold. Even if she did you owe her an apology.

I'm not going to join the pile-on so I'll just say I feel very bad for your friend. This must have all been very upsetting for her.

I am sure she can't afford to be out that much money either. You have to pay her!!! You shouldn't have let her get the ticket otherwise!

She bought a ticket for you, presumably you were aware she was going to do that.

She lost £200 because you conveniently 'forgot'. If you couldn't afford the ticket, you should said before she bought it.
She shouldn't be out of pocket because of you. Arrange to pay her back in installments if you can't afford to pay it in one go.

Was her olive branch the dinner to remind you and said you couldn't go? As she felt really uncomfortable. I'd suspect so.

You had several pay days to reach out and pay or arrange payment and you didn't.

If you care about this friendship. Screen shot that insta post.
Then send something like. "I'm a rubbish friend. I completely forgot the gig and the €200 I owed you. I'm so sorry it monumentally skipped my mind and I want to make it up to you. Can I take you to dinner/make dinner for you and what account do I need to transfer the money, I'll do it right now. I hope you had an awesome yome. Again, sorry, truly sorry"

If you still won't give her the money no wonder she doesn't want to be friends that's really uncalled for. It's not her fault you 'forgot'.

I think it's a little odd that the friend didn't chase for any payment and the lack of communication in general- I certainly would have!

I don't think there is much you can do to salvage this now though. Presumably she passed on/sold the ticket to someone else.

It’s where the situation is the reverse of how the OP has presented it. So in this case, it would mean that the OP is actually the one who paid for the tickets, and is presenting the situation as though they are the friend who missed the concert and can’t/won’t pay for the ticket.

I don’t feel particularly strongly about reverses, but they are/were considered poor form, and get/got a lot of people’s back up.