To think friend should have reminded me?

YOU can't afford to send her the £200 you owe her, @abrabhf, but you have no qualms about leaving her £200 out of pocket?

You are unreasonable on several counts - forgetting to send her the money in the first place, not making a note on your phone calendar about a £200 gig, and now, apparently, deciding that you aren't going to repay your friend!

If you can't repay the money in one lump, you should set up a payment plan, by standing order or direct debit (so you can't conveniently forget again) to pay her on a monthly basis until your debt is paid.

You should be contacting her immediately to apologise again, and to offer to repay her, as soon as you can - monthly, if necessary. I hope your next post on here is to say just that.

If you could not afford to send her 200 for the ticket, you should have told her promptly, so she could reclaim the money back. That's called: doing the right thing!

Also, forgetting that you owe your friend 200 smackers is codswallop!

Do people like you really live among us?!

Just read this.

You absolutely have to send her the money. Sell something if you have to, or transfer it in monthly installments. This isn’t really negotiable. “I can’t afford to” is not an excuse at this point.

You wouldn't have forgotten if it was the other way around and she owed you, would you?

No, people like you only 'forget' when it's someone else's money at stake.

So your friend bought the tickets, but then what happened? Did you make arrangements to go together or meet up there? Or did neither of you mention it again?

There's no way you just genuinely forget to send someone £200 by the way...

It’s a bit weird that she didn’t say “Hey! That gig is coming up soon - if I send you over your ticket can you transfer me the £200? Really looking forward to it!”

It’s obviously a bit rubbish that you didn’t pay her as soon as you were able (I would have set a reminder on my phone for payday) but if you genuinely forgot there’s not much you can do. Life gets busy, you didn’t do it on purpose. She clearly didn’t forget about the gig though so a bit weird that she never said anything at all.

If I were you I would send her a grovelly email saying how sorry you are that you forgot, and that you’ll transfer the money ASAP. Do ask her if she got someone else To go though… if she did and they paid her then I guess it’s all good. Either way I’d make sure you book a dinner or something in the diary to make sure you’re ok and still friends. It could all get a bit awkward otherwise and you don’t want to drift apart because of some silly gig.

You owe her £200, end of. Doubt your poor friend will ever see a penny of it though.

Friendship over? Good for her. Based on what you've said and reading between the lines, she has simply had enough of you thinking the world revolves around you.

Our view: Can't pay? Not your problem. She paid for tickets. Her fault she didn't sell it on or chase you.

Her view: we talked about going, decided to buy tickets, you've declined her offer to meet up, you've not been an adult and made an effort to remind yourself to pay, you don't seem to give anything, only take. You don't realise that she bever would have even bought her own £200 ticket if she didn't think you were going so she has spent £400 on doing something that she wouldn't have done if you hadn't made a commitment. Probably isn't the first time you've shrugged your shoulders.

Very selfish OP. I would suggest you work on yourself. I can't see how you could even hold down a job, never mind a friendship or relationship. Very sad for you too but doubt you will accept responsibility to change your behaviour.

Did you turn down the dinner invitation because you knew she'd be expecting you to bring the £200?

If you can't afford to send her the money then you had no intention of going did you?!
Also if you invested £200 of money you can't afford then you would absolutely not forget that gig ... not a chance.
IMO you owe her money. If she found someone else to go then good for her, but you're a platinum CF for being so entitled to spend other peoples money, expect them to remind you, not go and squinny about it

I think you owe your friend a huge apology, personally. She laid out £200 for you, you didn't bother to pay her back (convenienently "forgot"), ghosted her and never bothered to stay in touch for months after (probably interpreted as you having changed your mind about the gig, and behaved like a twat by ghosting her to avoid paying her) and now you're getting back in touch to whinge about how she didn't remind you about the gig (you are a FUNCTIONING ADULT, take some responsibility!! it's not on her!) and you STILL have no intention of paying her back!

I'd count this friendship as over too, what shitty behaviour from you.

Yabu

You're vile.

Pay the money you owe.

Your friend should have reminded you to pay for your ticket. Plenty of people have needed reminding when it came to paying me back for something. I am pretty good at always remembering. But people do forget etc....so I would say your friend is at fault here. So silly to just wait and wait and hope you might remember. So odd.

This in spades.

But I bet OP has form for this... which is why her friend probably didn't bother reminding her to pay, or of the concert.

If I've bought tickets - and then people can't go, which I did, I think luckily 2-3 years ago, I luckily managed to sell them but the friends who couldn't go did say, they'd pay if I couldn't sell them. Lesson learned for me though really, don't buy expensive tickets when people in the heat of the moment say 'I'll pay' and then don't factor in money. This autumn there's a festival I'd like to go to, have alerted two friends, not close ones, both said they'll let me know nearer the date, which is fine by me! Rather know that than to have flakey friends.

Just transfer her £200. Simple!

If you dont have her back details then i assume you know where she lives so drop £200 in an envelope to her.

Wow so your friend is £200 out of pocket because you won't pay her back :O absolutely shocking

15 year friendship seems very much over.

Are you surprised?? You're a massive CF who essentially stole £200 and then ghosted her. There is no version of this story where you come out looking good.

You have behaved shamefully and, if I were in your friends position, I wouldn't speak to you again either.

That’s my take on it, otherwise it’s essentially “My friend bought something on my behalf, I didn’t pay her for it or use it but it’s my friend’s fault as she didn’t treat me like a child and chase me up”.

Was this for Taylor swift per chance?

Tickets were bought in December, last contact I had with her was maybe April, I messaged to ask if she was ok, she invited me to her for dinner and I said I couldn’t make that day.

Did you forget to get back in touch with her to rearrange, as well?
If you message a friend asking if she is ok and her response is to suggest you come round for dinner, this is pretty obviously saying "I'd like to have a proper chat with you".

Sorry OP but you are a proper CHEEKY FUCKER and if you carry on like this, you’ll have no friends at all.

Your friend spent £400 on tickets in December because you agreed to go with her and made an agreement to pay her back after your first payday, so end January at the absolute latest.

You clearly had no intention of repaying her because you ignored her for weeks and still haven’t bothered paying her back after SIX MONTHS have elapsed.

You’ve treated your former friend like shit and if she tells others, you’ll get a reputation for flakiness and no-one will want to make plans with you.

Being poor doesn’t excuse your dreadful behaviour. If you were an honourable friend, you could have raised it with her and offered to pay £50 a month but the fact is, you just couldn’t be arsed.

You need to pay your friend back. Two hundred pounds is an awful lot of money to be down.