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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think friend should have reminded me?

562 replies

abrabhf · 19/06/2024 21:45

Friend paid for hers and my ticket to see a recent gig, cost £200 each. These were bought months ago and I forgot about it, we also have barely spoken since purchase.

I never paid her back and now the gig has been and gone and she’s ignored my texts and calls.

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 20/06/2024 12:13

This has got to be a reverse.

HaddawayAndShite · 20/06/2024 12:12

So you had the intention of saving up and paying before the gig but it just slipped your mind month after month until now? No date in diary for event? No reminders set? Are you usually this unorganised? You need to start saving, pay her the money and work on your organisational and social / friendship skills because they're both clearly lacking.

BeachParty · 20/06/2024 12:10

wurlycurly · 20/06/2024 12:08

I agree! Me and my friends wouldn't do this! We'd remind each other. My very best friend is a nightmare for forgetting to pay... She's not taking the piss or a 'parasite' or a 'thief'. She genuinely forgets and we remind her.
This thread has some very very ugly language!

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To be fair, the friend has tried to meet up a couple of times, both times she can't make it and no mention of rearranging for another night

Cattenberg · 20/06/2024 12:08

abrabhf · 20/06/2024 12:04

She messaged me maybe February asking if I’d like to go to a local event in the summer and I told her I was already going with different friends.

I messaged her weeks later to say I missed her and she invited me over for dinner on a night I couldn’t do. And that’s the end of all contact we’ve had this year apart from yesterday.

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So, after your friend bought tickets, you never actually arranged to attend the gig together? And your friend never asked if you were still planning on going or whether she should try to re-sell your ticket?

TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre · 20/06/2024 12:08

BeachParty · 20/06/2024 11:42

@TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre

If it was Taylor Swift, which was a sold out show then I'd say she resold the ticket

OP said she went by herself so she still owes her £200.

Not necessarily. If she resold it it would have been through the ticket site and to a stranger.

OP definitely needs to clarify with her friend.

And if you can't afford £200 @abrabhf don't agree to go to an event that costs £200.

wurlycurly · 20/06/2024 12:08

Rewis · 20/06/2024 12:05

I think this is all a bit weird. Yes, op should have paid on the next payday. But with my friends we also tend to remind each other if we dont get the money. "Hey, you haven't paid your share yet. It was £150". Instead of stewing, going to the event alone and cutting friendships.

I agree! Me and my friends wouldn't do this! We'd remind each other. My very best friend is a nightmare for forgetting to pay... She's not taking the piss or a 'parasite' or a 'thief'. She genuinely forgets and we remind her.
This thread has some very very ugly language!

BeachParty · 20/06/2024 12:07

abrabhf · 20/06/2024 12:04

She messaged me maybe February asking if I’d like to go to a local event in the summer and I told her I was already going with different friends.

I messaged her weeks later to say I missed her and she invited me over for dinner on a night I couldn’t do. And that’s the end of all contact we’ve had this year apart from yesterday.

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So, she's tried to meet up with you twice and both times you've bailed, and in the meantime haven't even mentioned that you'll get the money to her?
Yes, totally looks like you're trying to avoid her or just hope she won't mind and will somehow "forget" herself about it.

ThereIsAMassivePiegeonOnMyFence · 20/06/2024 12:06

abrabhf · 20/06/2024 02:09

Why would I need to check? I haven’t sent her any money.

I’ve messaged her now. Apparently she went on her own, she didn’t remind me as she thought I’d do the right thing and then gave up.

There’s more to it than that but I’m not going to post the entire message. 15 year friendship seems very much over. I can’t afford to send her £200.

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If you can’t afford £200 why did you agree to go in the first place. You are YBVU to leave your friend £200 out of pocket because you “forgot”

Rewis · 20/06/2024 12:05

I think this is all a bit weird. Yes, op should have paid on the next payday. But with my friends we also tend to remind each other if we dont get the money. "Hey, you haven't paid your share yet. It was £150". Instead of stewing, going to the event alone and cutting friendships.

Original poster
abrabhf · 20/06/2024 12:04

TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre · 20/06/2024 11:33

"I’ve messaged her now. Apparently she went on her own, she didn’t remind me as she thought I’d do the right thing and then gave up."

The fact she mentions that she "gave up" suggests she had made more than one attempt to contact you and realised you were never going to pay her back.

I find it funny you think she ghosted you, when it seems you were the one avoiding contact with her.

Edited

She messaged me maybe February asking if I’d like to go to a local event in the summer and I told her I was already going with different friends.

I messaged her weeks later to say I missed her and she invited me over for dinner on a night I couldn’t do. And that’s the end of all contact we’ve had this year apart from yesterday.

OP posts:
whatfornow · 20/06/2024 11:59

wow what a terrible friend you are

Thursdaygirl · 20/06/2024 11:50

I suspect the OP has left the thread, but no matter what, she still needs to pay back the £200.

Bonjovispjs · 20/06/2024 11:43

You can't afford £200? Maybe she's struggling too after forking out £400 because of your selfishness.

Boltonb · 20/06/2024 11:43

This reply has been deleted

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BeachParty · 20/06/2024 11:42

@TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre

If it was Taylor Swift, which was a sold out show then I'd say she resold the ticket

OP said she went by herself so she still owes her £200.

Boltonb · 20/06/2024 11:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre · 20/06/2024 11:40

If it was Taylor Swift, which was a sold out show then I'd say she resold the ticket. Got her £200 back and decided you had shown her exactly what sort of friend you are and decided to "give up".

You should however check with her that she was able to sell the ticket. At least that way you won't owe her the £200 but will have to accept you've lost a good friend.

OriginalUsername2 · 20/06/2024 11:39

abrabhf · 20/06/2024 02:09

Why would I need to check? I haven’t sent her any money.

I’ve messaged her now. Apparently she went on her own, she didn’t remind me as she thought I’d do the right thing and then gave up.

There’s more to it than that but I’m not going to post the entire message. 15 year friendship seems very much over. I can’t afford to send her £200.

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It doesn’t matter if you can afford it or not, you owe her £200! Go without for a bit and be a decent person.

EnjoyingTheSilence · 20/06/2024 11:37

It was not up to her to remind you, you’re a grown adult. You should have sent the money and you should still send it now. She’s out of pocket through not fault of her own.

user1491396110 · 20/06/2024 11:35

Don't you think you should set up a direct debit to her? Even £15 a month? Why should she lose the money

Sunisshiningweatherissweet2 · 20/06/2024 11:34

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius: Well said!

BeachParty · 20/06/2024 11:34

ByCupidStunt · 20/06/2024 11:09

Did you turn down the dinner invitation because you knew she'd be expecting you to bring the £200?

That was my thought too - that the friend would have asked and reminded about the concert then at the dinner, but the OP bailed so friend thought "fuck her then" and went by herself.

TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre · 20/06/2024 11:33

"I’ve messaged her now. Apparently she went on her own, she didn’t remind me as she thought I’d do the right thing and then gave up."

The fact she mentions that she "gave up" suggests she had made more than one attempt to contact you and realised you were never going to pay her back.

I find it funny you think she ghosted you, when it seems you were the one avoiding contact with her.

Sunisshiningweatherissweet2 · 20/06/2024 11:32

Oh, and you've 'barely spoken since the purchase' because SHE WAS WAITING FOR HER MONEY! 😅

BeachParty · 20/06/2024 11:31

abrabhf · 20/06/2024 02:09

Why would I need to check? I haven’t sent her any money.

I’ve messaged her now. Apparently she went on her own, she didn’t remind me as she thought I’d do the right thing and then gave up.

There’s more to it than that but I’m not going to post the entire message. 15 year friendship seems very much over. I can’t afford to send her £200.

Show quote history

She shouldn't have to chase you, and 200 quid is a lot to just "forget" about.
I love going to concerts and theatre etc, and if I paid that much it would have to be a show I really wanted to go see! So in other words wouldn't be one I'd forget about easily.
She probably thought you weren't bothered anymore.
Oh and you owe her 200 quid. I'd be pretty pissed off if I'd forked out that much for a friend's ticket and they didn't pay up.
which is why I don't buy other people's tickets apart from my own