In-laws want DC so ‘we can both have a break’

Just politely say no. If your working in summer though probably a big help

If the children would like to go and stay they can go and stay with dads parents on dads time! Not taken away the precious time with their mum

Just be honest with them OP.

Your ExH can facilitate visits with them when it’s his turn to have the DCs.

As PP said, this doesn’t need to be a big issue. It will be sad for you, obviously. But you’ll adapt, as most separated parents do.

So say that, then? Don’t see the issue.

This works well !

I’m another one who thinks they are hoping some child free time for both of you might help to save the marriage.

Firstly would your children like to go and stay?

that should be the first consideration not your feelings of not wanting to be away from them. They deserve healthy relationships with family members other than you and it’s great for their independence and confidence.

Just say thanks, but no thanks, as you'll get all the break you need, and don't want whilst the dc are with your ex.

I feel the same way, share 50/50 with my ex, any holidays or days out I want to take without my dc, I take when they are with my ex. My time with my dc is precious so I choose to do child free stuff in the week or weekend they are with my ex.

Or, bite their hand off for some summer holiday childcare. Not overnights but lots of lovely DGP time during the long summer holidays. Unless you have enough holiday to cover all your weeks with them?

Your H might become less keen on the whole idea of GP giving you a break if you’ve already booked them for ‘your’ weeks and he has to sort paid childcare.

I think they are hoping a bit of alone time together might just save your marriage.

Do you think time without kids would help? Or is the marriage well and truly over?

Maybe the kids will want to stay with your parents too at some point? Would your H be keen for that to come out of his time?

If you’ve previously had a good relationship with MIL I’d do what other posters have suggested and tell her you’re already struggling with the “break” you’ll get when they’re with their Dad, and it’ll be a big upheaval for the kids to start having two homes so you’d prefer to wait until they are feeling settled and stable with that arrangement before introducing more.

@RedLeicesterRedLeicester , sounds to me as if your in laws are hoping to find a way to help you and your husband work things out. 😔

If he can’t or won’t care for them when you’re all under the same roof why would anyone think he’ll do a decent job once you’re living apart? On what basis has 50/50 been agreed?

Just tell her to discuss seeing them when they’re with dad.

You say you have a good relationship with your MIL so how about just giving her a call and talk to her about it.

I’m happily married so might not ‘get it’ but my PIL are brilliant and adore our boys.

They can have them whenever they like as far as I’m concerned.

I just wouldn’t want my co-parenting to so transactional.

There is nothing rude about that in the slightest.

It isn't OP's job to facilitate the children seeing her ex's family. She is struggling with the prospect of having significantly less time with them so why on earth would she want to ship them off even more? She will be responsible for facilitating their relationship with her own parents presumably, which may or may not involve some overnights. Why should all the overnights with both sets of grandparents come out of OP's precious time with her children?

Having boundaries is fine. Women are not rude for saying no to people.

If you do all the care, why is he able to have them 6 days a fortnight? Honestly, I would be fighting that. I don't think it's in their interests at all.

Have they accepted that your split is permanent? It could be that they think giving you both a break will be a chance to rekindle romance…

I'd take it as a kind offer with generous intentions. They're probably a bit worried they won't see much of the DC now and so want to stay on your good side.

I'd just thank them and say what you've said here - you'll already be without them a lot and you're still adjusting to that, so you don't want any more time away from them just yet.

Put something about it maybe changing in future so they know it's not about them.

I wonder of anyone has prompted her unsupervised regular access could help them navigate some access in court for themselves? Really op remember she isn't your friend. When it comes to all she will back her ds....

If your children are 2 and 5, I don't think it's in their interests to have two different homes. I wouldn't have agreed to that, tbh, never mind losing even more time to the in laws.

I wouldn't agree to your in laws seeing them in your time, to be honest. They can arrange that with their son. And frankly, why the hell would you want a break?

It’s not you OP. I’d hate to be apart from my DC and definitely wouldn’t want that time extended.

I’d reply “That’s a lovely offer but not necessary as I’ll have time to myself on the days they’re with their dad”.

Why is it rude? It's honest. They should be seeing the DC on their son's time rather than OP's. Just as her parents would see them on her time. If the DC do want to go, then of course they can – just on their dad's time. It's not OP's job to facilitate contact between her DC and her ex-in laws.

They will get to see dc plenty when ex has them ime. My ils never saw my dc until we divorced. Then regular visitors..