Insufferable situation with DP

Cancel the broadband contract. You can't afford it and it will stop his gaming.

You don't need to give him the final chance, you gave him plenty already. He needs to go. You say you are scared being alone with three kids but you are alone, except you have three young kids and one man child.
I saw something on Facebook the other day which I wish I saved. It was a post from a man who said that his wife asked him to move out of the family home and he was struggling to look after himself and having his kids 50/50 (3 kids also) so he though his wife must be struggling too, went back and asked to reconcile. And when he did, he saw his wife relaxed and happy. And there were comments that really put it into perspective. Before, the wife had 4 people to look after. Now he is gone and she only has her kids 50% of the time so her workload reduced by 3/4. Just think about it this way.
Even if he doesn't see his kids, you workload is still going to be 1/4 less.

As a lone parent let me tell you life is actually easier without a useless man baby in it.

I do have family support and they're horrified at what's going on and want me to leave him.

Well listen. To us, to them. You will be single, I can completely guarantee it. You just have to decide if it's now, or you'll drag on for a couple of years.

He's had his last chance. Just pull the chain and flush this one.

OP, you say that you are ready to explode, so have at it! Tell him what a useless piece of shit he is. Presumably the money he's getting from his parents isn't paying the rent or the bills, so if that is the case, then tell him that you're no longer prepared to pay for the roof over his head, while he sits on his backside playing games all day, and that having only just given birth, it's his job to be out looking for paid employment in order to provide a roof over his family's heads. Tell him you will no longer put up with it, and it's time for him to go, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, say it like you MEAN IT!!

Can you get a family member to come round to back you up, as with your hormones still being all over the place, the likelihood is that you will just burst into tears and not be able to deal with any pathetic arguments that he brings forth. Better still, do you have a hefty male family member, or friend who will be able to, not only back up your arguments, but physically eject him if it's necessary?

I notice that you didn't answer my question about where the £2.3k went, is there a reason you don't want to share this information?

In summary, he's an absolutely useless partner, provider, and father, and you and your children will be far better off without him. Yes, you've allowed yourself to be made a mug of, but you CAN and MUST put a stop to it, for the sake of your mental health if nothing else, and the sooner you do, the better you'll feel. There is absolutely NO reason for you to feel guilty about kicking him out, it is HIM who should feel guilty for failing his partner and children so spectacularly!

And you seriously think a loser like this would step up? We've had plenty of threads from women in this situation but 5 to 10 years on. She's working FT and still doing everything at home, rhe dickhead "partner" is still sitting on his arse gaming, except he can now claim to be primary carer even though he isn't, and royally screw her over if she ever tries to extricate herself.

You need to kick him out OP - good riddance to bad rubbish. You'll be lots better off as a single parent - less work, less expenses, and you can probably get some benefits. Send this douchebag back to his mum's basement. (But seriously, you say he showed his true face a year or two after your older ds was born - why on earth go on to have another with him?)

So he's manipulative in addition to his many other character flaws. Sweetie, he's really just a cock lodger, not a partner. What do you have to lose by sending him back to his parents? They're enabling him by paying for his lazy lifestyle, so let them take him on full-time. Immediately secure your money in an account he can't access, then tell him it's over and he has to move out. Do it now, because the longer you are together, the greater his claim on your income will be.

Contact your landlord first and get the tenancy agreement changed into your name only. Explain he is leaving, because he is and you need to be sure you have security for 3 children. You're the one paying the rent anyway.

Make sure he's removed before you remove him. Get your family to help.

You are on your own with 3 kids already and it's him causing you stress and anxiety not the kids. You will find it so much easier without that stress. 🌼

You've got family to support you OP, you need to tell him it's over and you're not supporting him/paying for everything whilst he plays on his Xbox all day. I know it's scary to think of managing two children and a baby but I promise you it will be easier without him. You will get I to a routine with school runs etc and it will be fine. You are doing all the work anyway, he is just dead weight.

He can go back to sitting at mummy’s and playing games all day. Where he goes is not for you to worry about and kids are young enough to adapt.

Surely having him slobbing about is contributing to how you feel? I’d rather be single and make my own way in life and have some ambition for me and my children’s quality of life than live a half life with him leeching offa my energy and savings.

he’s draining the life and savings out of you. Tell him it’s shape up and step up time or pack up and f* off time.

No more gaming. It’s honestly the death knell in so many relationships.

Tell him he needs to step up and be a father. What on earth does he think he's doing? If he can't manage it, then you're not prepared to mother a kidult. He's got 3 children that need taking care of and that shouldn't need pointing out to him.

You must be exhausted with worry.

A couple more questions for your OP, first of all, what sort of work was he made redundant from? Do his parents know that he had £2.3k redundancy money, and that he squandered it, if so what do they think about it? What did he spend that amount of money on?

I do think you were a bit silly going on and having a second child with this loser, but it's done now, and so we have to find a way for you to get rid of him. Do you have any other back up from your own family or friends? Also, how do you get on with his family, are they aware of the way he's treating you, and how do they feel about the fact that he's obviously not looking for work, and is just basically scrounging from you and them?

He blew his severance pay when you were just about to have or had just had a baby? I have a feeling that he lost his job because he was not that keen on it. He has to go home to his mother now. You won't get a bean from him in CM but will be less expensive to look after three children than four.

Did he have no savings? No redundancy pay?

You might as well be a single parent.

You're already doing everything yourself so you know you've got this. Picking the kids up from school is the only extra thing you'll need to do but I bet that is nothing when you'll have one less extra man (child) to deal with in the house - you'll probably find everything is much easier.

Bit scary and overwhelming at first but you'll be so much better off.

If his mum is helping to pay for him to sit at home and play video games all day then I am sure she will let him move back in and do it in her house. Ain't your problem regardless, grown man can go figure it out himself.

I'd be taking a hammer to his X box, or selling it. I'd not have any respect for a man child playing games and ignoring his kids.

It won't get better, OP. At least with him gone you'd have one less mouth to feed and your electricity bill would probably halve.

You are completely unreasonable for considering letting this continue.

Incredibly difficult to have a newborn and two older kids on your own but you already know this because other than picking up the older two from school, you are doing it all alone and paying for it.

Do yourself a big favour and get rid of him. He will still need to pay child support, won't be much if he's only claiming universal credit but at least you can get some help by being a single parent, even if it's just discount for council tax.

He has nowhere to go if he leaves

His parents are bankrolling the lazy git, he can go there for starters

I can't stand the sight of him

How long have you felt like this?

“Personally I’d go back to work early and tell him that until he gets a job, everything child and baby related is down to him. That’ll soon change his tune.”

PLEASE Don’t do this. He’ll be the primary carer, are you married? Do you want to pay him child support and see your children less if you split?? Didn’t think so. Do not go back to full time work and leave the children with him. He’ll do nothing all day. Poor kids! Stay at home Dad arrangement can work if you are solid and respect each other. Doesn’t sound like you and he.
Bin him, he has his parents to go to.

You are calling him partner so that means your finances are separate. Whose house is it? If it's yours, or the rental is in your name, you can legally kick him out tomorrow. Not your problem if he has nowhere to go. Please tell me it's your house..

Do you have any other supports, OP?