To think there’s nothing wrong with toddlers on leads?

My DS would never hold my hand as a toddler either - he was a nightmare!

My DS would literally not move if he knew I was holding the strap on his backpack! That was interesting! 😂

I’m not a parent so maybe I just don’t get it’s

you are only missing that, when you are a parent, EVERYTHING you do is apparently an open forum for others to discuss and everything you do will be judged and criticised 😂.

Just read the threads about the school gates, it's amazing.

But of course, nothing wrong with reins.

We didn't use them but understand they are useful for some parents and children and I don't judge other parents using them to keep their children safe, but I do when I see them being used in big safe spaces or using them to stop new walkers falling (part of learning to walk!).

I agree @WeightoftheWorld .My experience is that use of reins depends on your lifestyle and the personality of your DC.I used them to keep my DC safe when we lived in a busy town and went everywhere on foot. I had 2 DC close in age and yes, I used a sling and a double buggy but if we were out and about, near water or on busy roads with narrow pavements they were a safety measure. I interchanged who wore the reins. They didn't appear to object. When DC3 was little our lifestyle was very car based and eg I would drive to the shops or school pick up or to the park. DC3 could then be released safely.

You don’t know whether your DC’s will run away until they do it. Not a risk I was prepared to take. Thankfully DH agree on key issues like that.

Hand holding is actually really uncomfortable for small toddlers too for any length of time. Imagine having to keep your arm outstretched upwards for a period of time to hold a giant's hand whilst having to walk along the street too, bearing in Ind your balance and walking muscles etc aren't super developed yet. Really uncomfortable for them.

I had a huge argument with DH once about this when the kids were little. We actually never needed to use them but DH was really vehement that it was treating your kids like a dog and only shit parents used reins. I reminded him we were lucky neither of our kids liked to run away and that many kids are good at wriggling out of a handhold, so we can't judge. Also people might need them because they have back issues, for example, and leaning down slightly to hold a small child's hand is difficult - for example it might be useful for grandparents. He absolutely would not back down. I'm never bringing that one up again!

My son loved his leads because nanas dogs have them too 😆 that’s always what I’ve called them!

DT’s didn’t get a choice - if we were leaving the house, they wore reins. Non negotiable.

I don't like them and haven't used them. I don't judge people that do.

Not sure why you referred to Reins as leads . FYI leads are used on dogs .
Reins are a game changer for many parents.They keep their children safe.

Not so much the leads, but putting them in kennels is a bit of a no-no!

(Not a serious comment btw!)

I think sometimes people forget that things like reins can also be there to help the parents. I used them as I have several different health issues and badly controlled pain when mine were toddlers. There was no way I could have sprinted after a runaway toddler and pain stopped my reactions being quick enough. The reins were a great compromise, freedom for kids but also saftey that I couldn't provide.
But I "looked alright" so people still did the rude comments, not realising how crap it made me feel. Chances were that if my toddlers were walking I was having a goodish day and had probably had to take a lot of painrelief to be walking without the pram to lean on. Mine also spent the whole time pretending to be horses.

Maybe people need to be a bit less judgmental.

I was born in the '60s. My mum used reins on me. Her first comment when the news of the Bulger case broke was "If only they still used reins..."

I think they'd fallen out of use at that time.

I never used them, but that's because my DC weren't bolters, and we have plenty of traffic free paths for them to walk on when they were tiny and then they could be scooped up into the buggy in riskier spots.

I would absolutely have used them with a bolter or if we were mostly walking on footpaths by the road. I don't understand the judgement towards them (and in fairness, have never encountered it in real life).

My partner was really against them pre baby, I was all for them 😂

Fast forward to now and we’ve got an 18 month old that loves to bolt away in the direction of traffic, cyclists, big dogs, ponds he’s all for the reins.

Yanbu.

Reins are good, but the child can be more aware of them. Leads attached to back pack are great for older toddlers who are steady on feet but dont always want to hold your hand and risk of wandering/running off. You are attached without them feeling attached.

Like both and don't know why people judge anyone for using either. Generally only for a short period of time when walking/independent but not fully trusted to follow instructions.

Its illogical. You put a lead on a dog to keep them safe, as they are precious to you.
And to many people, their toddler is even more precious than their dog. So why wouldn't they want to keep them safe?

Used them for mine. Older son was so interested in things he'd just dash off. Younger one didn't need them for as long - he was much more risk aware. Very sensible idea. Only takes a moment for a child to run off. Mine are now mid-late 40s.

They’re not for me personally and I don’t use them with my DC, but I have no issue with others using them if they want to.

Yeah I think they're fine, some kids are much more likely to run off than others and not as likely to tolerate the pram.

However I once saw a mum using one with her toddler (must have been around 2), in the playground where it's perfectly safe, and the kid way having no opportunity for exploration, independence, bodily atonomy etc. and was just being yanked around. In that case I don't agree with it.

They have exactly the same purpose as a dog lead: keep your small creature safe. They're great. I've never had a negative comment using them though, so I'm not sure there's really all this hate for them that people seem to expect.

My SIL used reins with her DS. Once when I dropped them he picked them up and gave them back to me. Strapping 15 year old now.

When my youngest stepson was tiny, he had a habit of getting distracted and wandering off from his dad when they were out.
After a couple of minor panics in shops (it was just a few years after the James Bulger case), dad bought one of those 'curly wire' things (like an old style telephone cable) with one end that attached to dad's wrist, the other to the little un's.
Little un was not happy about it at all. Until dad told him "Daddy's scared we lose each other when we're outside or in a shop, and daddy would be really upset if you couldn't find him again, and he wouldn't know how to get home without you."
Not a murmur after that. The little un even started tugging on the cable if it stretched a bit, to pull his dad back to him.
I'd rather use one and have peace of mind. It's not a dog lead, it's keeping your child safe.