School holidays with newborn

@InTheRainOnATrain I meant before the c-section!

I would say I had great recoveries and 4 weeks post section I would have considered myself pretty much exactly as before but no way could I have put the food shop away during the first 2 weeks. The bending and lifting required is exactly what you’re told to avoid.

Paddling pool is a great idea. And be really organised with food shopping. Get it all delivered. Maybe batch cook a few dinners if your husband won't be back on time to cook.

Also I’ve had 2 ELCSs and OP I echo those saying you need help in the early days. Caring for the baby is fine. But anything that involves bending, lifting (heavier than baby) or twisting needs to be avoided and there will be a limit to how far you can walk initially. Driving isn’t 6 weeks but you’re not going to want to 3 days after either. So if DH can’t take traditional paternity leave then could he cut down his hours just for 2 weeks so he can do the household stuff you can’t like dishwashers and laundry, and drive the eldest to/from holiday club? After that then all being well you’ll be fine. But you risk splitting your stitches and impeding your recovery if you push it too hard too soon.

A good paddling pool will really help if it's good weather.

Don't underestimate the excitement that will come from having a new sibling. It will probably be an incredibly memorable holiday for her and am amazing opportunity for bonding.

I've had 2 c-sections. The first two weeks will be tricky. I know you have your own business but your DH needs a few days off to help you. Or have you got any family that can help with your older child? Definitely book him into a sports camp for the first two weeks.

That's fine for a few days, maybe even a week, but OP has 6 weeks of holidays and needs time to rest and recover. 6 year olds aren't really known for resting, chilling and pottering around the house especially ones who loves sport and being outside.

You don't always need to be doing something, but having a few holiday clubs or activites lined up will help break up the holidays.

Have you had a CS? 🙄

Op you do need some help for at least 2 weeks. Recovery and just adjusting to two will be tough. You need some help.

That was exactly our age gap too and that summer when my dd was just about 2 months. It was hard as she had a few health issues at the time which meant 90% of my focus was on her. Do you have any help? We hired a PT nanny for a few weeks that helped SO much. She took him to clubs/ just hosted play dates at home / played with him and then helped with the baby.
It was tough though because even though I had help, I couldn't give much attention to him. BUT it was just one summer out of many so in hindsight it was just a difficult patch. A year later and it's all good.

Holiday clubs! I would ask other parents at school what camps they’re doing and try to coordinate- gives you a bit of a break whilst recovering and they get to get their energy out with friends.

Its a new thing when parents feel pressured to always be ‘doing something’ with their kids in the holidays.

Just rest and chill. Potter round the house and garden.

Why? I felt fine and I fancied it? I'm not saying everyone should, and I've said that I was lucky as there's a range of recoveries, but I'd have gone nuts at home. I followed my body and didn't do anything it was grumpy with.

I wasn't out doing a marathon (though if someone felt up to it, then that's fine for them).

People often have a fear of c section recovery, and often (but not always) that's from people that either haven't had them, or had emergency ones after a long labour.

I went out on a full day trip to see friends and go out for dinner on day four,

there's always one 🙄

Great if you genuinely did, it's still stupid. Check how many women ran into problems because they did not take it as easy as they should have had. It's a major surgery.

Helpful 🙄

Of course the eldest deserves a nice holiday, why should he miss out completely because of a baby?

You don't take a 6 yo "to the park" all summer, how boring, poor kid.
The OP might need a REST, dealing with a child and a newborn while recovering from major surgery is exhausting.

The first week or 2 it's very possible she won't be fit enough to deal with the newborn by herself anyway. It's not a failure, it's fact. Many women cannot use a sling after c-section! You won't know until after the birth.

I agree with clubs.

Your DH also needs to take a few days off here and there, he can't work 7 days a week with a new baby. Then he could take your eldest on a day out, take him camping for a weekend (even just an overnight) - basically break the summer enough you child will have a fun time. Even a couple of nights at Butlins - my idea of hell, but most kids love it somehow.

The not driving usher a C-section thing is largely a myth. I didn't drive at the time, but would certainly have been okay within 2 weeks and that's the experience of most of my friends who've had sections.

Honestly, my recovery is from section with far quicker than many people I know who've had vaginal births. For my first, I had the quickest recovery of anyone in the NCT group, I was the only planned section. So don't assume that you will be very immobile for very long. Recovery very much ranges, and I was undoubtedly lucky, but I went out on a full day trip to see friends and go out for dinner on day four, dosed up with just in case painkillers but I was fine.

You do just get on with it. Youre overthinking

Lots of National trust places have cafes and play areas near us, they're one of the best places to go with a newborn and older ime... especially if you can meet someone there, a friend or cousin a similar age with their parent. Then they entertain each other. I did a lot of this in early weeks with mine.
Appreciate its harder with a c section though, particularly if you can't drive. One of the things I did with them was bus ride - we got a bus to the farther park (15 mins in car, 1 hour on bus!) Rode on the top deck, took snacks. They loved it on the bus and it was easy with newborn in sling (about a week old then). Took half the day!

I don't see how any of that is even mildly unrealistic with a 6yo and a newborn unless you have a very tricky birth.

I had planned sections and was did those sorts of things within the first 6 weeks - including a holiday abroad, days out etc.

With your first you can choose whether to stay in and watch tv, rest etc, but with 2+, you don't really have that option. Baby 2 lived in the sling, we fed on the go etc, were in soft play by week 2 etc.

The good thing is that as hard as a baby may have seemed the first time, you've now experienced toddlerhood etc, and thr challenges ot mobile children. An immobile baby who just wants milk, cuddles and nappy changing won't seem so difficult this time around.

If you are concerned, I'd try to make sure you've got a good setup in the garden, maybe have a few play dates with other kids over to help entertain your eldest.

Make the most of weekends or your DH’s days off when he can drive you to a national trust etc (plenty of benches, cafes to have a sit down and newborns are the easiest age to get out in a pram).

When it’s just you and the children - what’s within walking distance from you? Or perhaps an easy train ride away (obviously once you are feeling up to walking).

Check out your local parks for any events or library/museums within easy distance for craft or activities.

Plan a movie afternoon with popcorn and treats etc.

Surely your oldest won’t want a ‘usual’ summer, with a brand new baby at home to dote over? Perhaps try and think of it differently in that this will be the best summer ever for her, it’s not every holidays there’s a new baby in the house!

I’d just get on with what you usually would do? That’s what we did with our second, newborn just fits in and we took him out with us on day trips from about a week old. Does your DH get 2 weeks paternity? That’s a great time to all go out as a family or he could take your oldest out for some 1-1 time. Then after that go to your normal things with both DCs. Also arrange some play dates and meet ups with others as they can then hold the baby for a bit.

If they like being outdoors and sport then you'll definitely be able to find a holiday club to keep them busy.

I know quite a few people who have used clubs like this, and the children have had a great time

https://www.theoutdoorsproject.co.uk/news/holiday-clubs---all-you-need-to-know/