School holidays with newborn

Oh good! Glad your mind has been put to rest a little bit ❤️

I think you’ll be okay OP, especially if you are already fit and active! I’ve had 2 c-sections 19 months apart and both were straightforward recoveries. I actually found the second better because I was forced up and out by the toddler. Obviously hikes and things are off limits (including swimming sadly) but gentle walks out will almost definitely be fine. My insurance told me I was fine to drive after a c-section providing I was able to perform an emergency stop so it’s not always the 4 weeks a lot of people think it is. I was comfortably back driving after a week I think.

Try and find activities where there’s lots to do as well as walking around (farms, zoos, softplay etc) including lots of seating along the way. Keep on top of your paracetamol and ibuprofen. You may be like me and feel surprisingly fine until they wear off!

I’ve not had a c section, however it doesn’t take more than half a brain cell to recognise that you won’t be bouncing around a National Trust walk within a week after major abdominal surgery. But this MN, where competitive martyrdom should be an Olympic event.

Do you have a garden? If so, set it up as well as possible. Yes there may be some tv/screen days as well, won’t hurt anyone. Try and have help for those first couple of weeks, the business is not more important than you being able to recover properly, or maybe other family members. Just remember, yes your eldest being entertained and kept busy is important but you’re allowed to recover and rest when you can. There will be many more summers to enjoy.

Activity clubs sprinkled throughout the summer - tennis, general sports, leisure centre days, whatever you can find - so your 6yo can play with other children and be as physical as possible. Ideally 2 or 3 each week through the summer.
Use those days to sleep any second your baby closes his/her eyes.

Be prepared for your 6yo to get a bit clingy. Seeing Mum with a new baby can drive them back into your lap a bit. Work it to your advantage by bunging on CBBC or a Disney film to watch together - you can rest while 6yo is singing along to We Don't Talk About Bruno. (OK, maybe 'rest' is the wrong word, but sit with your feet up.)

It'd perfectly fine to rely on Pierce Film type cooking for a month or so as you all get on your feet. No one will get rickets from spaghetti hoops on toast and a banana for the month of July.

Best of luck! It's not as scary as it looks right now, I promise.

I’d look around or ask on local facebook for holiday clubs that are the few hours type often run by council or churches. No use for parents who work but just as a change for her.

I know someone (America, not here) who drove herself home from hospital! She can be the third.

In all honesty though, there is a huge range of recoveries, from ours, to it taking a long time. It's good to be aware of the range though, and not assume they you'll be doing star jumps after 48 hours or bedbound after a month. Everyone is different and the OP would be well advised to have contingencies for if recovery is slow, but not to presume anything.

The average stay in hospital is 1.5 days, about half a day longer than the average for an 'uncomplicated' vaginal birth interestingly.

What times does your dh work?
Even if he needs to work as self employed, can he start a fraction later or finish earlier?

If so then he could take them out after breakfast each morning for ‘excercise’, bike, scooter, playground, walk in woods etc for 30-45mins. That way he’s used a bit of energy up if you don’t feel like going out out.

But garden play, paddling pool, would be the way to go. You can always invite a friend of yours with own similar age child over to play in garden a few times over the summer. That way you get company, child gets company, and it’s at home.

Do online food order now to stock up freezer with ice lollies for if outside.

After week or two you can probably start going out but local. Short walk to park if nearby or around on his scooter with baby in pram.

When your dh is off he can take him further afield once a week, or when he can drive you all go somewhere like national trust where you can sit with baby in shade if needed and he does the chase child part

@theowlwhisperer I had my third on a Friday night and was back at my desk Monday morning so there's always two 😉

Sometimes op you do indeed just have to get on with it the best you can.

Good luck

Holiday clubs
Grandparents
Paddling pool in the garden
Swimming lessons
Play dates with local friends and a picnic in the park
Could you book a holiday for Oct half-term?

I don't know many 6 year old who would be happy JUST sitting down and playing nicely with books, crafts and legos. At that age, they are like puppies, they need to run around and spend all that energy.

As you’ve got a garden get one of those pop up tents. Books, a kiddie zoom type camera, art materials, Lego etc and he’ll have a great time. A sand pit in a box is also a good idea. If he has easy going friends invite one round at a time.

I would make plans for the first 3 weeks that assume you won't be able to do much with your 6 year old. Holiday club, new toys, get them to help you when they're at home, call in a few favours from friends, and your husband will have to take some time off too. If you over do it your recovery will take longer and you might end up with complications. You can go to the park but long days out walking round NT places are a bad idea. Then in the last 3 weeks you can probably manage a few days out, but don't try and do too much. It will be a different summer for your 6 year old with more time at home but doesn't have to be boring. Make the most of local free activities and friends

It's definitely not a quick recovery on the inside. Takes months for the layers of tissue to heal properly.

I definitely wasn't out and about on day 4 after my C Section. More like needing assistance around the ward....in absolute agony.

Good luck with your new baby OP. Take small steps don't be over ambitious. It's major abdominal surgery.

Can't help with the newborn and an older one as I've only one DS but some ideas of things to do:

School holiday club or other local club, our football club does holiday club training, we also have local tennis camps

Play dates with friends

Visit to soft play if walkable, older one can play while you sit

Libraries, museums, children's centres, youth clubs, local community group sessions

Cinema trip or film at home

Outside at home: paddling pool, chalk, football and net, hoopla, boules, soft dart board, watering the flowers, sand pit, swing ball, bat and balls, toss and catch ball set - amzn.eu/d/i97ar4N, treasure hunt,

Inside at home: does he have access to a tablet/ console? YouTube kids, films, any apps/ websites he uses for homework, reading books together or him reading to baby, activity books, hot dots activity books amzn.eu/d/7H0hFrT, treasure hunts, playing shops, arts and crafts like play dough where you're not as active

If you're anywhere near Leeds I could probably suggest or particular things!

I would book some holiday camps/clubs for your older DC, at least in the morning. Can your OH drop them off and pick them up around work? If you have any half-day camps around where you live, you can send your DC for 3 hours in the morning to run around and have fun with other children, and then have them back home for lunch and a chilled afternoon playing, watching TV and doing whatever you feel up to doing with them and the baby. And that way you don't feel like you're sticking them in camps and clubs for the whole day when you're at home with the baby. I'd also ask other parents if they'd have your DC for playdates and promise to reciprocate later.

But realistically I think you do need some activities for your DC that other people are running/organising. You're going to be sore and exhausted. And although people are saying let them potter, your older one is 6 not a toddler and ime children that age benefit from a certain amount of strenuous physical activity most days, which you won't really be in a position to provide at first. Later, of course, you'll get out for walks and to playgrounds and soft play, but you won't be up to it at the start. So a sports or activity camp for a few hours a day will probably be beneficial for both you and your DC, if only to prevent you having an over exuberant 6yo making a nuisance of themselves around the baby 😂.

You'll be fine. Last year I had baby in July who was in NICU for two months. I was up and walking around same day as section because I obviously had no choice.

Had two at home so I spent mornings and evenings with my eldest two at park or in garden and full day in NICU each day with my baby (who was not expected to make it home) and often through the nights when she was at her worst and I didn't want her to pass away alone.

I say all this to say you will manage. It's more for your recovery than the baby, as if you have a healthy one (as I expected) they are portable and sleep most of the time.

I know thinking ahead it seems impossible but you really just get on with it, whatever your circumstances.

Buy a lot of garden toys and make the garden the main activity base. I often find mine are happiest spending hours playing in the garden and it’s minimal effort for you/very easy and a novelty/you’re within easy reach of baby changing facilities etc

Can you set up a load of playdates, and say you'll repay the favour in due course?

At 6 years your child will be fine to occupy themselves at home. Get activities organised. An art box with crayons, stickers, paper, colouring books, dot to dots etc. Play doh, jigsaws, building blocks, pop up books, games that aren’t screen based. Your eldest will understand that you are recovering. Your child can help you get a nappy and put the dirty one in the bin and wash their hands. Lots of tasks they can do and feel proud to do - picking up their things, clearing their plate up etc If your child needs to go out to the park if you haven’t got a garden then get a babysitter for this time.

The garden is your friend

People often have a fear of c section recovery, and often (but not always) that's from people that either haven't had them, or had emergency ones after a long labour.

being REALISTIC about major surgery is not "having a fear", give us a break. I am glad you were all recovered by day 3 or 4, managed a newborn all by yourself and be out and about on day 4, well done you. It's not even recommended to over-doing it even if you feel fine.

There's no other major surgery as swiftly dismissed as a c-section.

maybe for you.

My own grand-parents never spent an entire summer holiday "pottering round the house and garden" when they were little

Agreed!

Given supermarkets delivery into very late at night, schedule deliveries for when he's at home.

He does need to take a couple of weeks off though.

Ahhh that makes sense! Yes definitely do that.