Sick of people contacting me

It’s the expectation that you are meant to be contactable for every waking hour that annoys me.
But, I will say, be careful what you wish for. I felt exactly like you 10 years ago, so stopped answering the phone so much and making excuses not to do things because people wouldn’t take a ‘no, sorry I can’t’ as a reason not to do something. And now I hear from very few people. Though it’s less stressful and more peaceful!

Surely it's only a problem if the people contacting especially an instant response. Otherwise just leave responding until you are ready.

Because its not necessarily normal everyday life for a lot of people.

The days of going out shopping, on holiday, sightseeing ,without being contacted was so nice.

There's no escape from it now.

Op, I get it. I have a friend who posts stupid photos, memes and messages in our group chat. It is so boring and annoying.

Define 'normal', I dare you.

Some people... 😳

Set your phone to go into sleep mode , put your status to not shown , only answer when you want . I had a person who would message constantly and if they couldn't get an answer they would move to another message platform and check if I was online and bombard me.

Yes , I feel like this quite often. I really don't like texts that just say ' How are you?' in fact when I look down and see one, it makes me cross. I know people think they're being nice and checking in , but to me it puts all the responsibility on me to write a semi interesting reply about my news and politely asking about theirs.
Before I had a baby I used to go into my home office to reply to messages, and just treat them like another bit of admin ! Can't do that now as life is too chaotic 😂

Feels good to get that out ! Hope you find a solution and others on here have good advice as I have none. Xx

Just ignore them why don't you?

I think if you want time alone, then sraw your boundaries. Tell them you won't be available on the phone from such a time every evening because you want to spend time with family/ own time/ doing things needing doing with house and so forth and stick to it. Put your phone on do not disturb and just answer the next day when you feel like it.

Just say it's nothing personal, you're doing it to everyone as you need to reclaim some time back as youre falling behind on what needs doing Etc. And tell them it's good to switch off for mental health and suggest they try it.

Enjoy your free time op. If they get upset then oh well, they can get used to it!

Sitting glued to your phone isn't normal everyday life for some people.

It's not everyday life though is it?
If you are of a certain age then this level of contact and availability to be bombarded with information and requests is not what you grew up with and it is exhausting.

YANBU op, I miss the pre mobile phone age.

I get you. As PP have said just don't engage until you're ready. I deal with it with humour - "no point in trying to get me after 7 as the office is closed" type of jokes. It does work, as does switching read receipts off, etc. Most of my friends hate phone calls in the evening bit were all singing off the same hymn sheet so it's not a problem most of the time.

I get this .. my old job had a WhatsApp chat with 100 people on it and shot used to come into the chat constantly and I used to have my mother phone (selfishly) crying at 10 pm on a Friday night and mil moaning and I put a stop to it but asking dh to talk to his mother and I have sadly fallen out with mine

but I felt used …

YABU simply because this isnt a phone issue, its a you issue.

You need to start saying no to people or not answering/mute your phone. Eg I could spend all day online if I chose to, but I choose not to because it's not healthy for me. That isnt my computer's fault, it's mine. You have full control here over how you use your phone so start putting boundaries in.

Exactly this- noone is forcing you to have hour long conversations when you are knackered- just tell them you arent up to it. You can say that in a non rude manner.

Agree with turning off your online status, then you can slowly dial back how often you look at messages. Once people start to realise you haven't read the message and wont respond immediately they'll naturally start to adjust their own behaviour. You have to do this otherwise it wont work, until you start putting in boundaries nothing will change.

Just turn your phone off. I also hate that people expect us to be available 24 hours a day and if someone calls me I wont answer if it's not convenient unless it's my parents or DS. I know I'm unsociable and I don't care!

You miss the 90s? Because people left other people alone? Our house phone was always going for my mum, she loved it so it was fine. You were probably different in the 90s or your parents were. Depending on your age.

You need to start setting boundaries. If people are contacting you just tell them you don’t have time to chat.

Someone calling to loan about their shift? Just don’t take the call.

Sister wants to talk at 8.50pm, just say no.

People are doing it because subconsciously you always talk/answer/ reply.

Just do it in your own time?

This is what I meant. Gives you privacy.

Dick comment of the day

Try being assertive without being rude.

And remember that one day you might want to talk to your sister or have a friend.

Everyday life doesn't mean having to be on the phone for an hour in the evening when you're knackered having your ears bored off by someone who can't take the hint.

Exactly. Set out what suits you. Don’t passively suffer through lengthy calls at times that don’t suit. Turn off your phone. Don’t reply if you don’t want to. You don’t get points for phone martyrdom.

Turn your online/offline statuses off. I did this, now just reply to who I want too.

Also a major hater of people being able to message me whenever I want, I miss the old days!

Turn last read off on WhatsApp so you can deal with a message you want and ignore the rest.
Tell your colleague you are having phone off days when off from work. Take longer to answer texts. You are under no obligation to answer immediately.
You are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to do this.