To not want to live in deceased MIL's house?

What do you suggest? The OP meekly go and live in a house that, quite apart from its unpleasant associations, simply doesn’t meet their family’s needs? The OP apologise profoundly for not prioritising his childhood attachment over what they need? I mean, who needs enough room and off street parking, right?

I'm sure you mean the husband, correct? Because he is the person in this scenario who is telling his wife she doesn't have a choice as to where she lives and that her feelings on the matter will not be taken into consideration. He will make the decision and that's final, apparently. The only person being insensitive is him.

Very harsh and insensitive approach!

I don't think we're going to rent it out regardless of what happens. We both have stressful jobs, don't need to he landlords on top of that

That's understandable, OP, but do be aware of the maintenance that'll be needed if any sale is delayed while your DH comes to terms with this ... especially so if the place wasn't terribly well maintained when MIL was alive

Empty houses can deteriorate surprisingly fast, and it wouldn't surprise me to learn that DH is insisting "Why let it go to rack and ruin when we could be living there?"

I'd remain sympathetic towards him, but I'd not move in either. Don't move in just to 'try' it either, you'll never get out again and it
Will turn into an even bigger battle.

Tell him you'll discuss it with him once probate etc has all been completed and only them will you sit down and have a proper conversation with him.

Maybe start your look at what you 'could' buy of you sold both houses. He might like what he sees and start to think doffeeently.

This

She's only just died, has her house even been cleared at all, hes grieving and reliving memories of his childhood home. l wouldn't push him either way, maybe spend a few nights at mums house, go through photos, it doesn't need to happen straightaway.

Definitely trust your own instincts. I didn’t. I allowed myself to be persuaded and that house never felt like mine. Other relatives were super twitchy too if I ever moved anything around.
We are divorced now.

Well it isn't his family home any more is it. His family home is the home he shares with you and your children.

He's clearly not in a logical frame of mind at the moment and is completely disregarding your opinions and wishes, as pps say, these kind of decisions are not to be made under such circumstances.

Pp suggested moving into MIL's house but completely redecorating it. Tbh I suspect he would want to preserve the house exactly as MIL left it. So not only would you be moving into a house that has bad memories for you but you'd also be stuck with all her old stuff around you.

You really need to dig your heels in over this.

You are also absolutely right about not giving up a house with a drive for parking on a busy road.

One of the main reasons I moved from a house I had several years ago was because I had to park on a busy road. I would often end up parked up to four streets away from my house as it was all that was available. The relief when I moved to a house with its own drive was enormous.

Agree with pps, sell both houses and buy something that gives you more room, and has its own drive.

Absolutely no way will you live there. He can go and live there if he wants.

If he really doesn't want to sell it then you could remortgage it on a buy to let mortgage to raise funds and then use these funds and the equity in your current home to pay for your next family home. Then he gets to hang onto the house for the memories and it can go to his kids.

You'll have to pay higher stamp duty unless you gift it to your kids.

YANBU. In that situation I’d never feel that it was really my home.

If your FIL left everything to your MIL (assuming they were married) then she would have a double tax allowance £650k. If he left money to other people then you take that off so for example he gave £100k to his sister then it’d reduce to a £550k allowance

I’m with you. I’d sell both houses and find the right home for your family.

Actually, taking the emotion out of this, you may be better off moving the thread to Legal.
Advice such as letting the property while you decide has tax implications.
When you consider your options, you will need to know the legal and tax implications.

If you are in England, it does not have any allowances for an only child. He may not have to pay because of value.
You need to speak to someone with more knowledge of probate!
See below - not asking for details, just for you to think about.

There’s normally no Inheritance Tax to pay if either:

• the value of your estate is below the £325,000 threshold
• you leave everything above the £325,000 threshold to your spouse, civil partner, a charity or a community amateur sports club

I would suggest that you agree nothing for a year but maybe rent it out if possible on a short term rental.
In that year you can gently suggest the benefits of selling both and moving into a larger more suitable home for you all.
Its probably far too soon for him to be able to let go of his memories, he needs time to grieve and for any guilt he may feel (I had it after my Mum died about things that could have been done differently) to go and then he may feel differently about a fresh start.

If this is not mutually sorted and agreed (to NOT move there for all the practical and other reasons mentioned) then I get the feeling that the marriage will suffer, maybe even end.

Brace yourself for that one, and sorry for being so dramatic.

Very few of us live in our childhood home as adults, it is in no way necessary and your husband's obsession with doing so is downright unhealthy. Time for him to grow up and put away childish things.

It sounds like moving into her house would be a move sideways rather than a move forwards.

Is there any point in that ?

Like the pp, I would wait for a bit. In time your DH might realise it is not a sensible move.

I agree that moving into the house would be the wrong thing to do but as you say the bereavement is recent I have some sympathy with your DH. I'm guessing his emotions are all over the place at the moment and the idea of selling what has been his family's home is probably more than he can cope with now. I suggest giving him time to work through his grief, help him clear the house, this often takes some time and probate will also take a while. Its recommended that you give it 12 months after someone dies before making any big decisions so maybe keep repeating that for now. If after that time he still can't bear to let it go then you could suggest he lets it.

Is there inheritance tax to pay? Not asking for details, but if so, how will it be paid? Normally through the sale of the inherited house, unless M in Law left enough money to cover?

Is he presuming you will sell your current house and use the funds to pay inheritance tax on his inheritance?

Will it come from joint savings?

Not sure about your stamp duty requirements. Do you pay that on an inherited house if you put into your names?

Repeat after me, do NOT give up a house with offroad parking.
One of our neighbours did this, left a house with parking for 3 cars and moved into one with street parking only. They've done nothing but moan about it ever since, despite the pitfalls being pointed out on many occasions. Best way forward is to sell both houses and buy a nice one without the spectre of your dead MIL around it