Can I be blocked from private school now?

A friend and his ex had issues over which state school. They had 50:50 shared care. Mum filled in school form. That was the allocated school. Dad had no say.

I'm not sure why it would be different with private/state.

So you’ve gone from pondering about not having him on the BC to giving him access to over a hundred grand 🥴

Good luck and god bless OP

I’m sorry but this is just utter bullshit.

i think he does want what is best but wouldn’t want to be on the hook for may money as doesn’t particularly believe in the system. He earns far more than me though and I am just about managing to pay/have saved up around 120k so far. I wonder if I let him have access to the fund then he would be comfortable that he could always hypothetically meet the cost?

@greenak That would be foolhardy in the extreme, to be honest. Giving him half so that he can then pay his share - or just access to the fund is a non-starter. Neither of you could trust the other NOT to take the money for other things. Please don't so that. Should be some legal way of sorting it though. Even if it's just sending him the details of payments made - say for the following 12 months, so that he can see that payments are made and know he isn't going to be chased for the following year anyway? And if you fail to pay, well he can demand said child can be withdrawn immediately?

but op has now change the reason as dad fearing he might be on the hook for fees. this is a legitimate concern for dad to have.

schools will have legal rights to go after both parents for fees and no court can remove the school's right as a precaution to protect dad before mum signs child up.

You’d give your ex a lump sum of money in the hope he will pay for the fees? Did I read that right? Just pay in advance if you can as you would get it slightly cheaper

This isn’t true at our private school at all. I have a friend who is similar position - estranged from the father/husband and he has no input on forms or even as an emergency contact. In fact I know a couple of women who pay the fees with zero input from the fathers.

Why would you say that it’s across the board? Plus many grandparents pay for the fees at private school and the financial contract is with them.

OP normally there is a kindergarten attached to private schools. Get your dc in as soon as possible to establish friendship groups, support networks and routine.

No judge is gonna pull a child out of a school they are happy settled and thriving in because there dad doesn’t like private schools

rather than giving him money, can you afford to pay the school 12 months in advance or even 6 months with a promise dad will always be given 12 months notice should there be a change but you won't ask him to pay?

not clear why you need to give half {half of what} to him?

I am a lawyer. can you pay say 4/5 years upfront? even 2 years upfront? this may help at court.

i would ring schools and ask if you can sign alone. do find one which wont affect dad's visits and current arrangements.

with cost of living and vat q, i see many schools would want to insulate themselves by having both parents be responsible for fees even if only one of them paying.

Yes - I agree with this poster ^^^ Would that be possible @greenak? Or is your relationship with regards to your child's welfare so bad that he would just be difficult for the sake of it?

@greenak are you on good terms with your sons father?

If so would he be open to a discussion about education? Maybe look to compromise. nursery to end of year 5 at state school and a transfer to private for Y6 and secondary?

Y3 or Y5 are good points in the education cycle to transfer to private.

Having him on board with big decisions like this is going to make the whole experience much smoother for you all.

Good luck -hope you find a way to make things work

Does the school have a nursery class? Has he got PR yet? Your best bet would be to get the child in ASAP - a judge is much less likely to remove a child that is already there, without a bloody good reason. Dad’s Ideological opposition to them isn’t a good reason because the welfare of the child comes before it.

A friend had similar. She placed the child into a 0-18 school. He took her to court saying he didnt want the child privately educated, judge said child needed stability so to continue in the school at this point she was 3.

I got some very good advice on here about not putting dd's dad on the BC and am very glad he didn't show up (and I didn't chase him afterwards). Dd is at private and I can happily sign the forms knowing he has no PR.

He doesn't pay maintenance so I'd be damned if he was going to tell me what we can and can't do anyway!

It sounds like the best way forward is to try and discuss it rather than go ahead and hope he can’t stop it (if that’s possible).

That’s very unusual - not impossible of course but it is the norm to expect all with PR to agree.

Sounds like the most sensible thing to do is to contact your preferred school and check whether they require both parents to sign. If they do, then try to keep him off the certificate.

To add to this, we have recently refused to accept a child where one parent (divorced) wouldn’t sign. The mother was willing to pay all fees and remain responsible for them but the father was opposed and therefore we could not allow the child to enrol.

My private school doesn't.

Having just signed the forms to send our DD2 to private school, I can tell you that her school has required both parents to sign the forms. Not sure if this is standard for private schools, but it could definitely be a barrier to her being accepted at a school.

I work in a private school with some exposure to admissions.

We require all those with parental responsibility to sign the admissions forms and are jointly and severally responsible for the fees.

Our terms and conditions are standard across the sector.

Therefore he could indeed stop you from sending your child to private school if he was on the birth certificate.

Court will want the child to go to the school that is best for the child. If you can convince court that the best school for the child's needs matches your preference, then the child can go to that school.

If it gets to the point of a court order and child's dad convinces the court that a different school is more appropriate, then child might have to go to dad's choice of school.

It is all about the best interest of the child.

If the child is settled in school no judge is going to pull them out for another school just for the sake of it