Being asked for a trust pilot rating on my husband’s cremation!

Sorry for your experience.
a relative died recently, we chose Direct Cremation. The Funeral Directors told me they’d let me know the date of the cremation so we could have a few private thoughts on the day, also let me know when her ashes and wedding ring were ready to be collected.
i phoned today as I hadn’t heard, turns out she was cremated 16 days ago and her ashes have been ready for collection for a couple of weeks. They couldn’t confirm at first that they had her ring. Grudging apology.

The irony is that both my cousins and DH's are funeral directors, in two different counties. I can't imagine either of them doing such an insensitive thing. I am genuinely touched by the caring response of Mumsnet. Thank you.

They 'covered' the ashes jewellery/ memory bears etc. in the meeting we had to arrange my dad's funeral there. I know some people find these a comfort, but it felt a bit crass that they were trying to 'upsell'.

I’m sorry about your husband.

I wonder whether you were so distracted that you didn’t realise giving you consent for some marketing. Objectively I can see how reviews help some people to decide on things and many people plan their own funeral, so are possibly in a different frame of mind when researching. I would have thought a longer timeframe would be more appropriate and only targeting people who understood that they were giving their consent to feedback.

This.

My partner died in February and was cremated and this would have definitely made him laugh if I got asked to leave a review for his cremation lol so I would have tried to come up with the most ridiculous review ever. When arranging his cremation the funeral director told me that they will take copies of his fingerprints which I could purchase for £25 and I burst out laughing and said bloody hell you can't upsell to grieving people lol he looked really embarrassed so I had to try and lighten the mood and we ended up having a good laugh (sounds weird I know but if I didn't laugh I would only cry a lot) anyway when I went to collect his ashes I got his fingerprints for free so that was a bargain lol. I'm so sorry for your loss and that you even got asked to review this and I would love to know who thought it would be a good idea

I had something similar after my Dad died last year.

Except the letter they sent me to ask for feedback they hadn't bothered putting a stamp on, so I ended up having to pay for postage.

I was getting lots of stuff about the estate so thought it might be something important. I was pretty pissed off having to spend time and money sorting out paying for postage to get this mystery letter delivered only to find out it was that.

Meh, it's a service you pay for like any other. They deserve to know if their service is up to par no?

YANBU and SO sorry your going through this awful time having lost your husband, i totally get where your coming from , been there.
Just be kind to yourself , one day at a time, one foot in front of the other, the hurt sadness and pain believe me gets easier over time, but never goes away, we learn to live with it rather than get over it. Be aware you are very sensitive at the moment, but your allowed to be.
I had some horrific things said to me.

It's objectively insensitive to ask you to complete the review so soon and of course YANBU to be feeling like this.

Overall though, I think something it's more important that something like this comes recommended or is reliable for peace of mind.

As you say, it's not Amazon. If it were just some stuff you'd ordered that didn't much matter, you'd get over it if it wasn't up to scratch. If a loved one's service goes smoothly, and everyone involved is professional and sensitive, when there's little time time to make choices or think straight, that's got to be worth something.

I think they should have asked if you were willing to receive an email regarding feedback face to face not send it out automatically.

That is really insensitive.

Is this something happening now that many crematoriums are no longer under the local council but are run by private firms? My local one is still under authority control but a relative's funeral elsewhere in the country the crematorium was run by a private firm. When you make a business from a service the latter is lost to the former.

There are lots in my (reasonably rural) area. At least 4 I can think of at the top of my head, probably more.

I don’t think this is appropriate at all.
im sorry for your loss OP

It doesn't take much to show a little compassion and thoughtfulness to the bereaved, those things do stay with you. Unfortunately gross insensitivity does too. I'm sorry you had to experience that.

I am so sorry for your loss OP. That's shocking of them to ask for a review like that. I was asked to review the service from the funeral director i used for my dad, but they warned.me the letter would be coming and they waited 6 months after the funeral. It was just about any improvements they could make rather than a trust pilot review though. Sorry you went through that.

I think this is totally insensitive of them. Sorry for your loss.

Reminds me of when my mum died (early 50's and me early 20's) and upon going to the care home to clear her room, 12 hours post death, the Nurse in charge asked me to fill out a survey about how well the care home had performed!

I refused.

Sorry for your loss and the added pain this has brought you.

Trustpilot is about as unreliable a source of reviews as you could get in any case.

It is a service that is being provided and other people might benefit from your opinion on it when choosing theirs. It’s optional.

I’m struggling to think of a more insensitive request at such a time, truly unbelievable

I think this is the thing, some will want to leave a review, some won’t, both are valid choices.

I wish I'd been asked to write a review on the funeral director that my sister insisted on using when our Dad died. She works on a supply basis for them but my goodness trying to arrange things was like pushing water uphill with a fork. And it was horribly distressing having arranged a direct cremation that they then told my sister when and where it was - something I had really not wanted to know. I am still furious about it.

The only blessing is that they've still not sent the bill for the interment of his ashes.... it was last June and I'm certainly not reminding them.

That is so horribly tactless, though OP and I'm very sorry for your loss

Sorry for your loss x

Was it the Co Op? They did similar for my mum’s cremations last year 😡