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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not allow DP to use my mat?

59 replies

BestestBrownies · 18/06/2024 13:51

DP wants to use my lovely new pilates mat (thick, spongy one), as a mattress when he goes camping at a festival this weekend.

He has form for taking without asking borrowing my belongings and/or lending them out to others without first seeking my permission, so my annoyance may be coloured by his past behaviours.

YANBU Your lovely new mat will absorb all the gross camping/unwashed body smells and will never be properly clean and useable for pilates ever again.

YABU It's no big deal and the mat can just be cleaned afterwards.

OP posts:

Itllfalloff · 19/06/2024 10:10

Nope! He can buy a cheap camping mat

Noseybookworm · 18/06/2024 23:05

BestestBrownies · 18/06/2024 14:07

Agreed. I was brought up to have utmost respect for other people's stuff and never to take without asking.

He didn't ask, btw. I spotted it piled up with his gear ready to pack into the car and was like WTF?!? I have given him a firm NO and explained why, but he is having a strop about it. Reckons if the situation were reversed he would have no problem lending me his mat (he's never done pilates in his life), and I am making a big deal about nothing.

I have pointed out that buying himself an inflatable camping mattress will be a lot cheaper than inevitably replacing my mat.

Leave him to his strop, the big man baby!

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 18/06/2024 21:29

Don't do it OP!

DS took my Pilates mat to Explorer Scout Camp without asking because he couldn't be bothered to go in on the lift to get his. Anyway, it's all ripped and muddy now and smells of woodsmoke. I've told him he may as well keep it. I didn't particularly like it.

Can you link me to your lovely mat please @BestestBrownies ? I need a new one.

Ovvff2 · 18/06/2024 21:07

How did he explain thinking it was OK to do that to you, op?

Iloveacurry · 18/06/2024 21:04

Good news op!

Ohnobackagain · 18/06/2024 21:00

BestestBrownies · 18/06/2024 20:55

He finally saw sense and bought an inflatable mattress and pump from Argos this afternoon, so my mat is safe

@BestestBrownies no, still hide it. I suspect something else could happen otherwise 🫣

Silvers11 · 18/06/2024 20:57

Great News OP!!! Glad you stuck to your guns 😊

Original poster

BestestBrownies · 18/06/2024 20:55

He finally saw sense and bought an inflatable mattress and pump from Argos this afternoon, so my mat is safe

OP posts:

MrsDoubtfire123 · 18/06/2024 20:17

Do not let him take it. It either won’t come back or it will come back ruined. He can buy his own sleeping mat ! 👍🏻

PiggieWig · 18/06/2024 19:53

They’ve got Pilates mats and yoga mats in Aldi this week btw. The Pilates mats are pretty chunky though. I couldn’t be arsed hauling that from the car.

ButtonsB · 18/06/2024 19:50

It's a red flag to take something belonging to another without asking.
It shows a fundamental disrespect for others.
It is taught to young children for a reason.
Be wary OP.

Shan5474 · 18/06/2024 19:46

I think it’s not so much the using of the mat but the taking without asking that I’d have a problem with. Like oh that’s someone else’s used for a different purpose and they sometimes have to put their head/face on it but I want it.
But my cat has clawed my lovely thick Pilates mat and I feel a bit embarrassed whenever I go to class (even though I doubt anyone cares) so I wouldn’t want someone stomping on/denting/tearing up my mat with zips etc.

FangsForTheMemory · 18/06/2024 19:36

Bushtika · 18/06/2024 15:00

Or you could buy him one if they are so cheap.
Doing things for someone you care about is nice. You don't sound like you like him much.

Bollocks. If she didn’t like him, he’d be out on his padless arse.

Nanaof1 · 18/06/2024 19:00

BestestBrownies · 18/06/2024 14:49

I think his behaviour is something of a hangover from his LTR with the mother of his DC. She refused to work the moment she fell pregnant the first time, so he paid for everything they owned. Ergo, all belongings are shared, and no permission needs to be sought by either party to use them.

Having said that, he has just mansplained the construction of a tent to make me aware that the mat wouldn't be placed directly on the ground. I gave him the Paddington hard stare and told him he's running out of time to buy himself something suitable.

Oh, feel free to "womansplain" to this daft man that he can try to say anything he wants, but the answer is no. It will NOT come back pristine and will smell like male sweat/BO and be filthy since he will not care for it. Then explain how "purchasing" works and maybe, just maybe, he will be grown-assed enough to buy his own mat/inflatable mattress.

Teenie22 · 18/06/2024 18:09

Caroparo52 · 18/06/2024 13:54

nofuckingway
Hide it away.

🤣

SeriaMau · 18/06/2024 17:34

He’s a man, right? I think you have your answer!

Silvers11 · 18/06/2024 17:31

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 18/06/2024 16:35

@poolemoney
'PLEASE hide your mat where he definitely can't find it.'

Put it behind the ironing board.

😂In my house DH would find it no problem - he does all the ironing here 😂😂

diddl · 18/06/2024 17:26

so he paid for everything they owned. Ergo, all belongings are shared, and no permission needs to be sought by either party to use them.

Nope!

Out of curiosity-did he buy you the mat?

CalMeKate · 18/06/2024 17:21

Is anyone else thinking, who takes a mat camping these days anyway? Doesn’t everyone take inflatable mattresses?

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 18/06/2024 17:11

@BestestBrownies men are notorious for bring home someone else's shit instead their own expensive bits!! my hubby plays sports and took an expensive jasper conran towel for his shower but he brought back a crappy ikea towel!!

Catopia · 18/06/2024 17:00

Leave it at work/lock it in the back of your car.

Guiltypleasures001 · 18/06/2024 16:42

Ide be telling not to bother coming back op

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 18/06/2024 16:40