DS threw bully’s phone in lake

They are entitled to do so. Or they can sue now and enforce it when he has the money to pay.

It's still a school issue.

Head teachers have the legal power to make sure pupils behave outside of school premises (state schools only).

This includes bullying that happens anywhere off the school premises, for example on public transport or in a town centre.

School staff can also choose to report bullying to the police or local council.

https://www.gov.uk/bullying-at-school/bullying-outside-school

I wish people would research before giving "facts".

It sounds like some of the buildup has happened in school so it is a school issue.

I'd say to the parent you're happy to discuss but only in school with HoY etc there too.

Sorry, posted on wrong thread. Reported my post

I think you've misunderstood.

I'm not sympathising with a bully. I just outlined what could happen. I'm not saying it will, or indeed if they would be successful, but its a route they could take if they feel strongly enough about it.

I'm not saying they would be vindicated in their actions. But for arguments sake if I felt my child was innocent I wouldn't want to be out of pocket and it's easy done. The OP should be aware as forewarned is forearmed an all that.

A bit of a side note, but I really feel for kids today. When I was bullied at school, at least I knew I could come home and get some respite. With social media and smartphones, they can never really escape.

Having worked in those fields, I always encourage people to not give their kid a smartphone (a standard PAYG mobile is just fine) and avoid social media as much as possible. The response I often get is how parents feel guilted to give in as they don't want their child to get bullied for not having it... so instead they give them what is essentially a window into a world of incessant amplified bullying and exploitation, which the parents quite often don't understand or know how to manage as they don't understand the tech involved.

Good on your son, and good on you for supporting him.

Aside from any of the rest, he'll remember standing up for himself, and you standing up for him, into his adulthood.

No, it's bonkers to think it would. Even real cases are delayed by months or years, and you have to go to mediation before they'll even consider giving you a court date.

Nobody is going to destroy yours though, because I’m guessing you don’t go around filming people when they are being bullied and humiliated?

So your phone is safe 😊. Leave people alone and you won’t get your phone thrown in to a lake. No need to sympathise with the bullies.

It’s criminal damage, end of. Yes there might be some mitigating circumstances but ultimately your son is responsible for his actions and should replace the phone.

if it happened outside the school i doubt it is a school issue

as to whether you pay i dont know

Good work DS.

I suggest rewarding him for his behaviour.

Potentially yes - but it's dependent on signal etc so not necessarily immediate. but they like to use apps where the content "disappears" like Snapchat. Though it's always amusing to see their faces when they realise that it can be retrieved...
Channel 4's episode of Digital Detectives on the Olly Stephens murder is incredibly sad and will dispel any notion that girls can't be culpable.

This!!

Good on him. I wouldn’t pay a penny!

I’m not very tech savvy, but aren’t videos etc backed up on iCloud or similar? Obviously we don’t know if the video saved before being tossed into the lake but it would be interesting to see it as that would be the evidence.

I haven’t read through so sorry if this has been suggested/shut down already.

I would literally deny all knowledge and block the mum. Brave of your DS to take action against children who film bullying

Great tell lies , that is an excellent example to set to your children .

Fuck me, some of the responses on here!

Children filming incidents of bullying is rife, and are equally as culpable as the ones carrying out the attack.

A 13 year old boy who is highly distressed will not be thinking straight, he'll just want it all to stop and get the fuck away. Him grabbing and throwing the phone would be a reflex action to make it stop and prevent his humiliation being passed around the school and the internet.

This needs to be investigated and dealt with by the school, as they all go to the same one and your sun is being regularly targeted. This needs to stop. Don't respond to the mother of the girl, get in touch with the school first thing and take it from there.

I would tell my son I'm proud of him for standing up for himself. You are not being unreasonable. Bullies and active audiences, like the girl whose phone got thrown into the lake, shouldn't do what they do if they cannot cope with a reaction to their horrible actions.

I hope something is being done about the bullying. Maybe then everyone gets to keep their phone.

Just because males are responsible for the majority of violent and aggressive crime, that in no way means that women and girls never perpetrate it. Girls bullying other children, completely unprovoked, deserve to be punished for it just as harshly as a boy would be.

Also, why are people assuming that his books were undamaged by being thrown on the floor? Yes, they were probably still just about 'functional' - in a way that a phone being thrown on to concrete or into a lake won't be - but it's highly unlikely that they wouldn't have suffered some significant damage by being thrown to the ground. It doesn't overly matter what property of his it was, though; his belongings should have been automatically respected and not taken from him, then this would never have happened.

I would report it to the police and school. She shouldn't be able to get away with bullying ( and good luck getting a 13 year old to pay for a phone)

Why don’t you say a year of DS’s course work has been thrown into the lake and that is bloody priceless, since it accounts for hours and hours of time. Ask for her solicitors details and say you’ll be taking it further - no phone replacement unless one of the other bullies has photographic evidence that your son was the instigator. Say you are happy to review any footage she has.

Good for him
I'd tell his mum she can sing for a replacement, while you report her daughter for harassment and assault